The Godfarter on Trial

 Time flies; this entry is already almost 2 weeks late siiiiigh. The procrastination stops now and I'm also going to do this a little bit different this time. Instead of musing about what's going on now and in recent days first, I'm going to start where I left off last. So without further adieu, here we go. 

I last filed on the 12th and that weekend was relatively quiet. On Saturday, I vacuumed the house, did laundry and computer stuffies, and took half a barre class. On Sunday, I took the other half of the barre class, grabbed groceries, finished up some laundry, did a little meal prep, and hung out at the Dickerson household for a bit. My day off that week was Wednesday and apparently the only productive thing I did was a pile of dishes.

The following week, I was on staycation so I'll stick with the blog style I usually do to document wonderful work-free weeks; a list:                                                                                                                  Sat: vacuumed the house, washed bedding, did a living room workout.                                                        Sun: cleaned the girls' potty room, made a pizza.                                                                                            Mon: dental cleaning, errands, laundry, started reading my Lebanon history books that were gifted to me.  Tues: I made pancakes, did the dishes and took a bubble bath.                                                                        Wed: I went to ctown to watch Maddy give a speech and receive the St. Josephs sports award for her senior class. There was a catered dinner and I actually had a friendly conversation with Jesse.                      Thurs: took a half barre class, grabbed some groceries, and met here with some neighbors to discuss the first real possibility of our community being finished.                                                                                      Fri: I got up and brought a salad and rolls in for Hillary's birthday potluck and hung out for a bit. I also cleaned my bathroom and took half a barre class.                                                                                            Sat: I took the other half of the barre class, grocery shopped and vacuumed the house.                                Sun: spent the day at the Dickersons for Easter. We pigged out and lounged around inside and out.

The following weekend was my long weekend. Friday, I had my physical and ran some errands afterwards while I was out and about. My physical confirmed an 8 pound weight gain in the past year. Yikes, and oops. I also need to start addressing my lady issues. First step will be finding a gynecologist to start working on bothersome symptoms...just call me sweaty betty. Once I got home, I started sifting through various sources of pictures to compile a collection for a social media post for Maddy's 18th birthday. In the process, I discovered that a bunch of pictures failed to survive the transfer from old to new laptop. I'm still processing the profound disappoinment in my inaction and I hope the majority of those lost pictures are safe on other media in storage. I went to ctown that evening for Maddy's birthday dinner at the Taverne and ended up going out for a few bevvies at Time Out and Imperial. It was fun and by the time the evening was over, a guy I had been chatting with asked me for my number. Saturday, I vacuumed the house, did the dishes and some laundry, and took half a barre class. Sunday, I did some laundry, grocery shopped and spring cleaned my bedroom, finally. Monday, I traveled to ctown to watch the solar eclipse with the Goss' and her daycare kiddos. That evening, I met my mom for dinner at Kotos. It was nice and productive and I finally had the courage to ask her about an event that happened a long time ago. It actually was ok and I got a fair amount of information that I'm still processing. Overall, I'm still angry and sad when it comes to the subject of my mother. I don't think she has the capacity to understand. 

The following weekend, I only managed to vacuum my house before getting ready for the first date with the guy I gave my number to. I met him at Black Rock in Springfield and we ended up talking for 3 hours. It's a complicated situation but overall, I actually kind of like him. On my way home, I stopped in Claremont to hang with Shley and fill her in on the evening. Sunday morning, I got up and got ready to meet Maddy for a breakfast and coffee date at the Brownsville Butcher. It was nice chatting and getting to know her as the official adult she recently became. I finished the day with a barre class, laundry, and grocery shopping. My day off that week was Tuesday and I slept in hard core (period tired), took a walk, and did computer stuffies.

Last weekend was lovely. I actually got ready and went out after work. Mike invited me out to celebrate his friend Chris' 40th and it actually was fun. Emilee joined us and we all played pool and had a few drinks. Saturday, I vacuumed my house, did the dishes, started some laundry, and took a bubble bath. Sunday, I spent the afternoon in Warner at Denise's visiting with Erin, Fiath, and Colin. It was quite delightful. I washed my sheets when I got home and called it a day. 

My day off this week is today. I slept in and mainly just wrote this entry. I met Mike for dinner. We took a short walk after around West Leb. It could have been a bit warmer but it was still nice. I think I like him.

I've recently discovered Twiddle.

Quinn got outside the other night while I was on a walk and she was outside for as long as an hour, mostly hiding in the garage. I feel terrible. 

DJT is the biggest, smelliest pile of human shit to have ever existed. 

I love my girls. 

Spring Cometh Early

The groundhog did not see his shadow this year, predicting an early spring. It's a fun tradition but for those of us who are not delusional, we know the scientific reality of our current climate. I'll just leave it at that. It's a nice sunny Tuesday off and on top of this, a mental health appointment, running errands and getting ready for the rest of the work week, a nice long walk is in order. I'll be catching up on workouts and trying to avoid sugar until Friday evening as I've been lazy and out of control. I've come to realize my discipline is almost nonexistent because my outlook on life has completely transformed over the past few years. But that's an entirely separate novel to be written. This past weekend was nice. I managed to vacuum my house Saturday before going to Ctown to hang out with the Goss'. We went for a deer spotting ride out towards Charlestown but only managed to find horses. We had Tremont for dinner and had adult basement time before heading home in a slushy wintry mix mess around 930. Sunday, I was incredibly lazy and didn't get out of bed until 2 PM (technically 1PM but Sunday morning was daylight savings time). Despite that, I managed to do a pile of dishes and a living room workout. One small but satisfying task I did was getting my old Au Bon Pain gifts cards replaced by Panera ones so they can be used. I also redid my passwords paper.

I left off last almost a week into last month. That weekend was a home weekend. Saturday, I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and went for a walk. Sunday, I did the dishes, grocery shopped, made nachos, replaced the fridge water filter, cleaned the volcano, and got through almost the first half of the super bowl before giving up and going to bed. Usher put on a great show, or so I heard. I had Wednesday that week off and was surprisingly productive. I dropped my computers off down the road to finally start the process of getting rid of my old laptop. I went to Heater Rd. to get labs drawn then headed home to spend time resolving our billing problem with Casella. I had a JP inspection, cleaned my bathroom and finished the day by watching Charlie's basketball game in Enfield.

The following weekend was busy and social. I picked up Simone in the morning and headed straight to Polly's Pancake Parlor for brunch with the Dickersons, Goldens and 2 other ladies. We then headed to Littleton to check out Chutters and a few other stores on Main St. After that, we had our 2PM date at the ice castles which were pretty cool even during the day time. After we got home, we went back out to do some shopping at Sephora and Target and grab Lui Luis for dinner. We stayed up late relaxing and watching movies. In the morning, we got Dunky's for breakfast and did some more shopping. We hung out here until it was time to take her home, making a pit stop at Tracy's to play with their new kittens for a little bit. After dropping off Simone, I made a pit stop at Susans to drop off a dish and ended up staying a bit to visit. I went home to vacuum and wash my bedding and get ready for the work week. I had Thursday off that week and did dishes, took a walk, and computer stuffies. 

The following weekend was quiet. Saturday, I did laundry, vacuumed the house, cleaned the girls' potty room and did a barre class. Sunday, I ran errands and grocery shopped.

The following weekend was my phenomenal scheduled 4 day weekend. Friday, I took a walk and spruced up my guest room. Saturday, I got up and vacuumed the house before getting ready to head to New London to tour CSC with Danielle, Madison and Beth. It was super fun to be included and to go back in time for a few hours. Afterwards, they followed me to my house and we hung out for a bit before heading to Molly's for dinner. Another super fun time and I also ended up running into Doug from work and Mike Theroux; also saw Trish from a short distance. We went to the store to get dessert and spent the rest of the evening chilling, chatting and playing a family friendly version of CAH before calling it a night. Danielle was up, showered and eating breakfast by the time I got out of bed. We got to chat before Madison got out of bed. It was really nice to see what a lovely little human Madison has turned out to be. They headed out around lunchtime and I finished the day doing some laundry, the dishes and the first half of a barre class. Monday, I did some more laundry, finished the barre class, ran some errands, meal prepped and took a bubble bath. Until next time...

Quinn is making great social progress.

Caffy is a bitch.

Katie Britt is a piece of stool.

I've housed 7 boxes of girl scout cookies in the past month.

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are afforded the same rights as children.

Donald Trump is the griftiest grifter to have ever existed.

Dry January, Year 2...LOST CAUSE

 Welp, I made it to January 3rd on my second dry January attempt. For some reason, I was in a better headspace this time last year (or maybe I just cared more) so last year was a success. On day 3 this year (anniversary of my dad's death), I just said screw it and decided to go back to a more reasonable resolution...3 pints a week and to keep up with working out. Out of the entire month, I've had one successful week. Oh well. Moving on. It's Tuesday and my day off this week. I'm trying to finish this before a follow up appointment with a psychiatric NP. I also need to run errands and do a little meal prep. Maybe a workout but honestly, probably not because I ran last night. If there's time, working towards getting rid of my old laptop finally. This past weekend was quiet and so what I need for my mental health. I only left my house once Sunday evening to go to the chopper for ice and whipped cream. Saturday, I vacuumed the house, started laundry, did half a barre class and took a bubble bath. Sunday, I took the rest of the barre class, did a pile of dishes, and washed all my bedding. 

I last left off right after the new year. That first weekend was another quiet weekend but proved to be a promising start to a new year as I was asked out by a traveling CRNA that Friday monring. I wasn't really super attracted to him but I eventually decided to give it a try. We chatted throughout the weekend (Saturday, I vacuumed the house and grocery shopped; Sunday, I did laundry, meal prepped, did dishes, took a bubble bath and assembled the girls' new cat condo) and we decided to meet for coffee Monday evening. That went well so we decided to have dinner at Kotos Wednesday evening and it was effectively over for me after he cried, discussed religion and admitted he voted for Trump not once, but twice. Big NOPE. It also didn't help that he seemed to want to move faster than originally discussed. Anyways, that day off wasn't completely wasted as I paid some bills, prepared an HOA deposit and met with Geoff to finally pass the torch to him (he officially got the keys and debit card this past Saturday). Never will I ever waste one more minute of my time on a Trumper.

The following weekend was another quiet one. Saturday, I vacuumed the house, did laundry and the dishes, computer stuffies, and living room yoga. Sunday, I grocery shopped, meal prepped and did a living room workout. My day off that week was Thursday; I got my hair cut finally, did a little shopping at jcrew while I had more time in the meter and befriended gay employees. I asked one of them to email me his senior thesis about the emergence of AIDS in America after I heard him discussing it. It peaked my interest as the Reagan administration largely ignored it. I spent the rest of the day establishing care via zoom with a psychiatric NP and I also did half a barre class. 

The following weekend was also quiet. Saturday, I vacuumed the house, did dishes, and did the last half of the barre class. Saturday evening, I went to Ctown to celebrate Emilee's birthday. A last minute change prompted me to miss dinner but I met up with them for drinks at Time Out and the Imperial. Sunday, I did laundry, took the same barre class again, ran some errands and meal prepped. The week that followed, I felt down in the dumps because I had a heavy period and had started taking a doubled dose of my paxil which I realize now made me feel worse before I felt better. Although it's hard to tell if I felt bad because of the dose change or my hormones but realistically, it was probably both. Either way, it took all I had to get through the work week to my 4 day weekend.

Friday started with me being an absolute slug and it just continued for the entire day...I couldn't bring myself to even shower or clean the cat box. I felt like emotional poo but, in retrospect, I really needed a day with absolutely no agenda. It's what I needed and I should do it more often. It's ok. Everything will be ok. Saturday, I had breakfast at the Fort with the Dickersons. I felt better so I did dishes, some laundry, and cleaned the girls' potty room. Sunday, I went to Windsor to hang out with the Dickersons then grabbed some groceries before going home. Monday, I vacuumed the house, meal prepped, and started going through my old laptop which took me down memory lane for a bit. 

Ok, I need to run some errands.

Donald Trump is the biggest piece of shit that currently exists. He is not immune. Someone, however, in Kuwait loves him...lol. 

The girls love their new cat condo.

Dry January, Year 2

 Today is day 1 of a new year and also day 1 of 31 days without sweets. I was successful last January (with the exception of one piece of pumpkin pie) so I decided to do it again this year as I've been out of control since February 1st and I am the heaviest I've been in many years. This month long reset is going to suck but I have to do something to undo all the cheat days I had this past year. I also have to learn how to function and find joy in other things other than overeating...it's increasingly become one of my main sources of joy. I can't live like this forever. And that's enough of that. 

I'm in the midst of another long weekend. 4 days this weekend and 5 last weekend for Christmas. This would never happen in the cath lab. I'll be sticking with EP for a while...unless my fucked up hormones make me explode at some asshole doctor. It's a very real possibility and it seems to get a little more real every month. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm going to last until my March vacation. Anyways, Saturday, I slept in. I did the first half of a Barre class and got ready to go to Ctown to hang out with Emilee. We caught up for a little bit (Logan was in a minor car accident the night before) at her apartment then we picked up her friend Ariel and went to the new Mexican restaurant on Pleasant St. for dinner. We finished the night with a few more drinks at the Crow Bar. It was almost 1 when I got home...fun but I'm too old for late nights and more than 2 drinks lol. Sunday, I had lunch with Dayna and Cory at Trail Break for their last day before they shut down at their current location. We left with a large souvenir lol. I finished the day with a little bit of laundry, the rest of my Barre class and New Years Eve spaghetti and 2023's last pint. Today, I caught up with Sarg, vacuumed the house, took down my christmas decorations, did a pile of dishes, bought groceries, and was supposed to do this entry in its entirety but starting it is better than nothing at all. On that note, I am going to bed and will complete this tomorrow.

Ok, it's tomorrow. So far, I've folded some laundry, put away clean dishes and I just got back from having new tires put on my car down the road at VIP. I went for a walk while they were doing it and I may head out after I finish this to walk some more. It's nice to be out walking and listening to podcasts with all the holiday lights. If I don't, I definitely need to clean my nasty bathroom. I was also supposed to get my garage door fixed (it broke last week) but they canceled because none of their technicians showed up to work today. Oh well...black betty will have to learn to live outside for the near future and hopefully there are no blizzards before it can be fixed. 

It's been over a month so starting where I last left off was before Thanksgiving. That Monday, I had a pest appointment (I'm getting really frustrated with the mice still accessing my basement), decorated for Christmas (nothing too crazy), ran some errands and cleaned my bathroom. I went to Cory and Dayna's for turkey day with the usual crew and had a nice time with lots of delicious food. I worked the following day and we ended up having inpatient work to do. Saturday, I went to Warner to hang out with Denise. We had lunch and went for a little walk and got coffee. We went to a thrift store then a flea market but the flea market had just closed. When I got home, I did a pile of dishes. Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did some laundry, took a walk and cleaned the girls' potty room. 

The following week, I had Tuesday off. I ran some errands, cleaned my fridge and did a living room workout. Saturday, I met up with Erin (we saw Santa) to walk the rail trail and ended up walking for a while longer after she left. Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did laundry, dishes, ran errands and made spaghetti and meal prepped for the week. 

The following week, I had Wednesday off (notice a pattern?) and I was lazy. The only productive thing I did was December's HOA deposit. Hopefully we can all get together soon so I can officially pass the reins off to Geoff. Saturday, I went for a lovely holiday lights drive with D&C&L. We got Starbucks and headed up to the Joseph Smith display. We drove by some more places in Leb and called it a night. When I got home, I did a pile of dishes. Sunday, I did some laundry and grocery shopped. 

The following week, I  had Thursday off. I vacuumed the house, deep cleaned my kitchen, did a living room workout and made a batch of guac for Lynn's birthday the following day. Saturday, I took a long walk and took a bubble bath. Sunday, I started Xmas shopping, made a pumpkin cheesecake, meal prepped, took a barre class, and did the dishes. 

Last, but certainly not least, last weekend was a nice and long holiday weekend. Friday, I finished my Christmas shopping. Saturday, I vacuumed my house and headed to Ctown to my moms to have Christmas dinner with her, Rod, Denise, Faith and Colin. It actually was a nice afternoon and nothing harmful was said. I stopped by the Goss house and visited for a little bit before going home. Sunday, I picked up Sheila and we headed to Belmont to have Christmas with the Carters. It was fun with lots of good food, games and gifts. I was home in plenty of time to have a cozy night with the girls, my Xmas Eve candle and Christmas Vacation. Christmas day, I spent with the girls watching movies and eating leftover baked ziti. I did, however, manage to wash my sheets and do the dishes. The next day, I was supposed to work but I ended up calling out. I was going to get an extra day off anyways so I just took it upon myself and made it a 5 day weekend. I was tired and feeling period icky so whatevs. I slept in, cleaned the girls' potty room and took a walk. Until next month...

Donald Trump is pure evil. Mike Johnson is human garbage.

The girls only knocked over the tree once this year.

George Santos was expelled from congress lol.

I had 2 glasses of wine at the HVC holiday party and told 2 strangers they looked cute together.  

I'm hungry.

Long Winter Ahead

 A few days late but here we go. I'm currently digging my new EP schedule...I'm currently nearing the end of day 3 of my 4 day weekend. It is consistently inconsistent because my day off changes every week and the pattern results in a 4 day weekend every 5 weeks. I haven't accomplished most of what I needed to this weekend but I have tomorrow and I'm also learning to be ok with it. Tonight, I plan to finish this and take a barre class and that should be good enough for government work. I've vacuumed my house, did computer stuff and spent lots of time snuggling with the girls. Friday, I did a pile of dishes and spent the evening at the Goss house. They had a rough week and I felt a little hangout was in order. Yesterday, I went to my mom's for a Thanksgiving/Denise meets Rod for the first time get together and it was interesting to say the least. Within 30 minutes, I was crying and looking to leave due to a snide covid comment my mom made but she followed me to my car and we talked it out. I'm really trying but I'm really struggling. I'm shocked by her level of denialism and I'm not sure how much my mental health can take. Regardless, I ended up staying until 930 chatting about lots of other subjects. 

Last weekend was pretty decent. Saturday, I headed to Newbury for an appointment and made my way home afterwards via Newport because I wanted a grinder. I stopped to say hi to Grammy, bashed Trump while Brian made my sandwich (pleasant surprise), made a detour down Summer st then headed home to vacuum the house, do laundry, run errands and make beef stew. My day off earlier that week was Thursday and I slept in, did laundry and the dishes, watched Accepted, did a living room workout and took a bubble bath. Sunday, I popped down to Windsor to go to a presentation by their neighbors on researching old houses. It was really interesting and we ended up finding some interesting events around their house. I went home and took a barre class and called it a night. 

I last left off the weekend before my glorious annual 2 week October vacation) I will make it more of an outline form as opposed to a paragraph as I've done in the past...it'll be a little lengthy but I'll try to rein it in but some days were busier than others). That Sunday, I did laundry, went for a walk, and grocery shopped. Monday, I cleaned my bathroom, meal prepped and went to Maddy's soccer game. 

My glorious 2 week vacation went from Oct 21 to Nov 5 this year and it didn't disappoint. Well, that's not entirely true but overall, it was delightful. Here starts the aforementioned outline form:

Sat: made a mean batch of guac to take to the Currier's Halloween bash. It was pretty fun especially because all my peeps were there. Yummy food, fun costumes and bevvies. Kristy gave me a stellar cat face.                                                            

Sun: cleaned the girls' potty room, did a pile of dishes and took a bubble bath.

Mon: therapy appt., washed all my bedding, grocery shopped, descaled my coffee maker and took a pilates class.

Tues: took apart and reassembled my coffee maker after my improper descaling process tripped the internal thermostat, took a walk

Wed: cleaned the volcano and headed to Monadnock Park to watch Charlie's soccer game (Maddy's was going on also and she scored a goal).

Thurs: cleaned my grill and actually used it to cook chicken sausage while watching a hot air balloon hover over the neighborhood, took Quinn in for a check up and cut all my dead hostas. 

Fri: took a warm, sunny walk then got ready to head to ctown for the weekend. Had Tremont for dinner and relaxed before bed. 

Sat: We all got up, I made coffee and got ready for the day once I was caffeinated and we had a plan. We headed to leb for mini golf, lunch at Chili's, target, BAM, the pet store and Starbucks. We ran to walmart once we were back home to get brownie stuff. We played heads up, watched a movie and ate leftovers for dinner. 

Sun: I got up to see Charlie off to his game and hung with the girls until the Goss parental units returned from their weekend away. They were sweet and bought me flowers and ice cream. They headed off to Natalie's baby shower and I headed home to get organized, take care of the girls, and shower before heading to Ctown again for Maddy's soccer game. After their win, I came home and crashed lol.

Mon: I did laundry, computer stuff, grocery shopped and a living room workout. 

Tues: the Dickersons came trick or treating although I ended up with a Katie's cookie and got Cory to move my bookcase down to the basement. I meal prepped and finally finished assembling my TV stand all the while getting 1 trick or treater. 

Wed: living room deep clean, did a pile of dishes and ended the day watching Maddy's championship soccer game livestream as it was in Manchester. They lost by 1 with penalty kicks after double OT...excellent game. 

Thurs: cleaned out my garage and took a barre class. 

The remainder of my fall vaca warrants a traditional run on paragraph as it was our trip to Newport, RI for our 40th birthdays. Friday morning, I packed, got ready and headed to the park and ride outside New London to pick up Emilee. We had breakfast at Tucker's, started a tiktok in front of CSC then hit the road. We hit some traffic so we didn't check in to our hotel (Newport Bay Club and Hotel) until 430ish. We got settled in our room and decided to walk down to where the Cliff Walk starts to take pictures and finish the tiktok video with shots in hand. We walked back to the hotel and decided to head next door to the Oyster Bar for dinner. We got ready and headed to another bar for a drink, left after 1 to explore in the opposite direction but ultimately decided to head back to the hotel after one place required a cash cover. We had a few in the bar underneath the hotel and called it a night after some drunk shenanigans. Saturday, we got up and got ready and headed out to find some breakfast which we brought back to the hotel. We walked back to Cliff Walk and took it to the Breakers before turning around and heading back to the hotel (making pitstops for liquor and fudge). We had an early dinner in the hotel's restaurant and had a quieter evening although we drank just as much and continued the shenanigans in the form of pictures and videos. Had to return to the hotel bar to get drunk. Sunday, we got up and got ready to check out and hit the road back home. I grabbed a 6 dollar coffee for the road and we made an interesting stop at the cheesecake factory in Providence for lunch. Once I was home, I unpacked and went back out to grab some groceries for the return to work and reality. Overall, it was fun but nothing I want or can do all the time. I learned more interpersonal details about Emilee's life in recent times and I don't have the energy to get into it but daaaaaaamn, that shit is fucked up.

Time for Barre.

Granny would have been 100 this past Tuesday.

RIP Rosalynn Carter

Still pull free :)

Religion Equals Death

 I don't want to talk too much about it but it is important to acknowledge what's going on in Israel and Gaza right now and the threat of what's to come. There are no words to describe the atrocities, pain and destruction so I'm not even going to try. No one knows what the coming days, weeks, months will bring but one thing I know for sure...this world is not worth existing in anymore. I had a coworker (big Trumper) earlier this week claim that she feared a surprise attack on the US while we internally bickered over things like "transgenders." Interesting opinion but I think this country can maintain national defense and support the gay community simultaneously but that's just my opinion. I'm woke and I guess that's a bad thing. With that being said, I'm in the midst of my first EP 4 day weekend and Tuesday starts the 4 shift countdown until my annual 2 week October vacation. It is badly needed. I am burned the fuck out and although the transition to EP has helped quite a bit, it is not a permanent long term solution to the hellhole that is healthcare in this country. For now, I need to focus on paying off my mortgage, practicing self-care, working as little as possible and keeping up with the happy pills and therapy. Yesterday, I allowed myself to sleep in late and have relaxing coffee time with the girls with no place to go. Even though I didn't accomplish the bare minimum, I managed to vacuum the house, do a load of laundry and a pile of dishes. I bare minimum will accomplish this today before I get ready to go to Micaela's birthday party later. Last weekend, I had Simone for a sleepover. After I picked her up and got her settled here, we went out and did some shopping. We watched a bunch of movies and had Gusanoz take out for dinner. Saturday, we had breakfast at Dunky's, did some more shopping and got pumpkins. We went to Mac's Maple with the Dickerson's then headed to their house for a little hide and seek and a pumpkin carving party. We spent some time outside, took a little walk down the road to explore a grave yard. I dropped her off at her dads around dinner time then headed home to grab some groceries and get ready for the work week.

I've been procrastinating a lot lately so I am 10 days late writing this but I am determined to finish this even if it makes me late to the party later. I last left off on Labor Day, the unofficial end to summer, but luckily the month of September was the hottest on record! Let's give a warm round of applause to climate change and those religious zealots who deny it! So how did I spend it? The weekend after Labor Day was a long one because Hilary gave me Friday off because the holiday landed on my normal day off. Friday, I was an absolute slug. Saturday, I went to Newbury to see Susan, New London to get some food then home to go to a Lebanon history book signing at the Carter mansion. I ended the day with a walk and a bubble bath. Sunday, I did some laundry and read the new book. Monday, I got my teeth cleaned, ran errands and did a pile of dishes. 

The following weekend, I went to the brewfest in Claremont with the Curriers and a bunch of their peeps. It was a good time and we hung out at their house for a little while after the fact. From there, I went to my mom's house for pizza and to meet Luna and my mom's new boyfriend. I was concerned because I fully expected a situation similar to T-bag but he seems to be relatively normal, at least for now. Time will tell. Sunday, I went to Meredith with the Dickersons for a birthday brunch with the rest of the fam. We strolled around Meredith for a bit then hung out at Kristy's house for a bit before heading home. I vacuumed the house before calling it a day. Monday, I had zoom therapy, took Maebs to the vet (she was terrified but did well), did the dishes, computer stuff, cleaned the girls' potty room, took the renewal ACLS class with Fynnie, then ran some errands.

The following weekend, I had my last cath lab call shift on Saturday. Thankfully, it had been reduced from Friday night through Sunday morning to a 10 hour one. We were busy and had no breaks so I shoved dinner in my face, stopped at home to freshen up then headed to Monadnock Park to watch Maddy's soccer game. They ended up winning in double overtime. Once I got home, I should have showered and gone to bed but despite being really tired, I ended up having a bad hair pulling event. The event just continued the following day and once I was done, it was the worst I've done in many many years, if not the worst. I ended up sinking into deep despair and made the decision to shave my head the following weekend. Despite the despair, I was able to vacuum the house and do some laundry. I am using this weekend as a wake up call to finally fucking stop this self-destruction and so far, I haven't pulled to this day. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I hate myself too much as it is, why choose to make it worse? Monday, I had another financial fitness meeting to inquire about the possibility of working part time within a few years. I've had enough of this daily slog. Speaking of the daily slog, I finished out the day by meal prepping, doing some laundry and the dishes, and running errands.

The following weekend was Lydia's second birthday party on Saturday. I had planned on asking Kristy to shave my head (she's a hairdresser) but a week into my "recovery," my cooler head prevailed (no pun intended). I opted to open up about my problem and I felt much better after talking about it and Kristy gave me some hair product ideas to help. From Windsor, I headed to Ctown to hang out with the Goss'. We had our usual basement hang plans with Tremont take out but the evening was a little different as we saw Grace off to her first homecoming dance as a high schooler with a junior date. After a bit, we ended up going to pick her up a little early as she wasn't having a good time. I headed home not to long after that. Sunday, I vacuumed the house then went to VINS with the Dickersons for the afternoon. We grabbed an early Mexican dinner in Hanover then once I was home, I took a bubble bath, did the dishes and some laundry then finally booked a hotel for Em and I's trip to Newport, RI. My day off that week was Thursday and I got a massage at the Woodstock Inn, took a walk, and cleaned my toilet and shower (I have yet to complete a thorough bathroom cleaning).

I joined a hair pulling support group on FB and I think seeing people much worse off than I am has been helpful.

I was going to cut out sugar due to weight gain for the month of September but that didn't last very long. I have, however, been better about limiting ice cream to 3 nights a week. I need to get back down to 125. 

Kevin McCarthy got ousted from House Speaker lol

I got out early on the 22nd to drive to Ludlow to have dinner with Pete and Cora. Diane was there too. Pete was here for his HS reunion and we had a nice visit with delicious take out, despite the religious overtones and the "recycling is communism" comment. Whiskey helps. 

Our HOA has officially dumped Exact.

Hot As Balls Labor Day

 Today marks the unofficial end of summer and to that, I say, what fucking summer?! It was either raining or hot as hell and I was either working, sleeping, or pisspoorly managing my time. Cool. I hope it at least feel somewhat summery for the remainder of this month. Speaking of this month, I last minute decided that my body (not my mind) badly needs another dry month abstaining from ice cream. It's very sad but I will have to do this occasionally if I'm going to otherwise be out of control with my sweets intake. By out of control, I mean 4-5 pints of ice cream per week because I have run out of fucks in this life. I went to prehab last Thursday to run for the first time in a month and I was ounces away from my maximum allowed weight. I haven't been this heavy in years. Not ok. By the time I write my next entry, hopefully I will have maintained this promise to myself plus kept up with workouts (failing so far this weekend) and accomplished things on my todo list.

Despite the laziness, this weekend has been pretty decent. Saturday, I slept in and had lazy time on the couch. I vacuumed the house then decided to last minute accept an invite from Lauren to a cookout where she is staying (Erin's parent's house in Plainfield). It was a small fun group and I'm glad I forced myself to get out of the house, relax and be social with some bevvies. Stomps and Andrew, Micaela and Tom were there (Tom and Lauren have broken off things with their partners and are now together). Sunday, I got up (feeling a little hungover...I'm old) and met Emilee, Maddy and Devin for breakfast at the Fort. They came to my house for a bit so Emilee and I could discuss and start planning our trip to Newport, RI this fall. I had plans to accomplish more yesterday but it turned out to be a little random as Chloe came over to help me start mouseproofing my house. They did the same technique at their place and so far, it's been a success. I found a dead mouse in the green trap the other week and I'm just so sick of it. I managed to finally clean my showerhead and my todo list took a backseat when I discovered after doing some random family searches an app that has all the generations that came before all 8 of my great grandparents all the way to European immigrants. I'm astounded that I found this and I've spent several hours going down wormholes. If only I didn't work full time. Needless to say, I haven't accomplished a whole lot today. I've done one load of laundry, a pile of dishes and I should probably take a break from this and run to the grocery store because it's after 7. Oops.

I last left off August 3rd and mentally was not doing so hot. I went back to work for my first official CRU day that Friday and ended up not being able to leave until 1030 PM because we were waiting for beds. I got up Saturday morning and got ready to head to Ctown to pick up Simone for a sleepover. I dropped off my bike to get serviced, picked her up then headed back to my house. We did some shopping, hung out then met Dayna, Cory and Lyd for dinner at Molly's. After dinner, we got some ice cream and saw Barbie at the nugget (so good)! Simone didn't care for it because I think she was expecting something a little different and she's also too young to get the historical context and feminist themes. Thankfully Allison texted me because I somehow had missed the fact that I was on call Sunday for 10 hours so I had to bring Simone home after the movie. Between that and Friday night was the last straw for me so since then, I've officially become a fulltime EP nurse. It took a littler over 8 years, but the cath lab burned me out and I'm just not willing to give anymore of life to that place. Concurrently, I learned that my house will be paid off in 3 years so I will be making major life changes at that point to salvage was happiness I have left. It's been a mentally busy month so I'll just leave it at that. Sunday, we worked all day of course. Monday, I had a meet and greet via zoom with a new therapist (thank you, Natalie), vacuumed the house, had dinner at the Baited Hook with the Dickersons, grabbed some groceries and did the dishes. 

The following weekend was fairly uneventful. Saturday, I did some laundry, vacuumed the house and did a living room workout. Sunday, I did more laundry and computer stuffies. Lauren stopped by with 2 pints of ice cream and a very sweet card. I have very supportive friends. I wrote in a card for the Curriers, took a bubble bath and painted my nails then called it a day. Mon, I bought some groceries, did some meal prep for the week and a pile of dishes, took a walk and sat through a neighborhood meeting without Exact. 

The following weekend began my August vacation. I decided I would ask for that Friday off  and I'm really glad I did. I also got to leave a bit early on Thursday. I met JD for a beer at Ziggys after work Thursday. We had been meaning to hook up for a while to transfer a sample pack of goodness. The rest of my vacation went as follows:                                                                                                         Friday: I did some laundry, cleaned the girls' potty room and took a barre class.                         Saturday: I vacuumed the house and scooted to ctown to pick up my serviced bike. I also went to Leos, bought food for shelter kittens, and grabbed a coffee before going to the Goss household. We had some good basement time and we watched Charlie win his soccer championship.                                               Sunday: Did some laundry and read a book (first half on the deck).                                                           Monday: I had therapy then headed to Warner to hang out with my mom and Denise. We had pizza for lunch then went for a short walk. I'm scared that Rod is just an older T-bag. Bought groceries before going home.                                                                                                                                                   Tuesday: Did a pile of dishes and went for a walk.                                                                                       Wednesday: I made macaroni and cheese in my new casserole dish and finally made my Xander collage. I miss him so much.                                                                                                                         Thursday: I got my car detailed in WRJ. While it was being done, I went for a walk and got breakfast at TukTuk. I ran a few errands before heading home to get ready to go to Gilford to see The Movement, Atmosphere, Sublime with Rome, and Slightly Stoopid. Front row, great show. The only thing I didn't care for was the dick grazing my ass. Get your fucking hands off me.                                                         Friday: I filled out a formal application for EP and cleaned my disgusting bathroom.                                 Saturday: I vacuumed the house and was quite lazy otherwise.                                                                   Sunday: I did some laundry, went for a walk, ran some errands and grabbed some groceries.                   Monday: Unfortunately, I didn't write down what I but from what I recall, I did a pile of dishes and washed/scrubbed my front and storm door. I think I also did a living room workout.               

Trump was indicted...again.

I love the girls.

I want to be a genealogist.

I love getting rid of shiz.