I don't want to talk too much about it but it is important to acknowledge what's going on in Israel and Gaza right now and the threat of what's to come. There are no words to describe the atrocities, pain and destruction so I'm not even going to try. No one knows what the coming days, weeks, months will bring but one thing I know for sure...this world is not worth existing in anymore. I had a coworker (big Trumper) earlier this week claim that she feared a surprise attack on the US while we internally bickered over things like "transgenders." Interesting opinion but I think this country can maintain national defense and support the gay community simultaneously but that's just my opinion. I'm woke and I guess that's a bad thing. With that being said, I'm in the midst of my first EP 4 day weekend and Tuesday starts the 4 shift countdown until my annual 2 week October vacation. It is badly needed. I am burned the fuck out and although the transition to EP has helped quite a bit, it is not a permanent long term solution to the hellhole that is healthcare in this country. For now, I need to focus on paying off my mortgage, practicing self-care, working as little as possible and keeping up with the happy pills and therapy. Yesterday, I allowed myself to sleep in late and have relaxing coffee time with the girls with no place to go. Even though I didn't accomplish the bare minimum, I managed to vacuum the house, do a load of laundry and a pile of dishes. I bare minimum will accomplish this today before I get ready to go to Micaela's birthday party later. Last weekend, I had Simone for a sleepover. After I picked her up and got her settled here, we went out and did some shopping. We watched a bunch of movies and had Gusanoz take out for dinner. Saturday, we had breakfast at Dunky's, did some more shopping and got pumpkins. We went to Mac's Maple with the Dickerson's then headed to their house for a little hide and seek and a pumpkin carving party. We spent some time outside, took a little walk down the road to explore a grave yard. I dropped her off at her dads around dinner time then headed home to grab some groceries and get ready for the work week.
I've been procrastinating a lot lately so I am 10 days late writing this but I am determined to finish this even if it makes me late to the party later. I last left off on Labor Day, the unofficial end to summer, but luckily the month of September was the hottest on record! Let's give a warm round of applause to climate change and those religious zealots who deny it! So how did I spend it? The weekend after Labor Day was a long one because Hilary gave me Friday off because the holiday landed on my normal day off. Friday, I was an absolute slug. Saturday, I went to Newbury to see Susan, New London to get some food then home to go to a Lebanon history book signing at the Carter mansion. I ended the day with a walk and a bubble bath. Sunday, I did some laundry and read the new book. Monday, I got my teeth cleaned, ran errands and did a pile of dishes.
The following weekend, I went to the brewfest in Claremont with the Curriers and a bunch of their peeps. It was a good time and we hung out at their house for a little while after the fact. From there, I went to my mom's house for pizza and to meet Luna and my mom's new boyfriend. I was concerned because I fully expected a situation similar to T-bag but he seems to be relatively normal, at least for now. Time will tell. Sunday, I went to Meredith with the Dickersons for a birthday brunch with the rest of the fam. We strolled around Meredith for a bit then hung out at Kristy's house for a bit before heading home. I vacuumed the house before calling it a day. Monday, I had zoom therapy, took Maebs to the vet (she was terrified but did well), did the dishes, computer stuff, cleaned the girls' potty room, took the renewal ACLS class with Fynnie, then ran some errands.
The following weekend, I had my last cath lab call shift on Saturday. Thankfully, it had been reduced from Friday night through Sunday morning to a 10 hour one. We were busy and had no breaks so I shoved dinner in my face, stopped at home to freshen up then headed to Monadnock Park to watch Maddy's soccer game. They ended up winning in double overtime. Once I got home, I should have showered and gone to bed but despite being really tired, I ended up having a bad hair pulling event. The event just continued the following day and once I was done, it was the worst I've done in many many years, if not the worst. I ended up sinking into deep despair and made the decision to shave my head the following weekend. Despite the despair, I was able to vacuum the house and do some laundry. I am using this weekend as a wake up call to finally fucking stop this self-destruction and so far, I haven't pulled to this day. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I hate myself too much as it is, why choose to make it worse? Monday, I had another financial fitness meeting to inquire about the possibility of working part time within a few years. I've had enough of this daily slog. Speaking of the daily slog, I finished out the day by meal prepping, doing some laundry and the dishes, and running errands.
The following weekend was Lydia's second birthday party on Saturday. I had planned on asking Kristy to shave my head (she's a hairdresser) but a week into my "recovery," my cooler head prevailed (no pun intended). I opted to open up about my problem and I felt much better after talking about it and Kristy gave me some hair product ideas to help. From Windsor, I headed to Ctown to hang out with the Goss'. We had our usual basement hang plans with Tremont take out but the evening was a little different as we saw Grace off to her first homecoming dance as a high schooler with a junior date. After a bit, we ended up going to pick her up a little early as she wasn't having a good time. I headed home not to long after that. Sunday, I vacuumed the house then went to VINS with the Dickersons for the afternoon. We grabbed an early Mexican dinner in Hanover then once I was home, I took a bubble bath, did the dishes and some laundry then finally booked a hotel for Em and I's trip to Newport, RI. My day off that week was Thursday and I got a massage at the Woodstock Inn, took a walk, and cleaned my toilet and shower (I have yet to complete a thorough bathroom cleaning).
I joined a hair pulling support group on FB and I think seeing people much worse off than I am has been helpful.
I was going to cut out sugar due to weight gain for the month of September but that didn't last very long. I have, however, been better about limiting ice cream to 3 nights a week. I need to get back down to 125.
Kevin McCarthy got ousted from House Speaker lol
I got out early on the 22nd to drive to Ludlow to have dinner with Pete and Cora. Diane was there too. Pete was here for his HS reunion and we had a nice visit with delicious take out, despite the religious overtones and the "recycling is communism" comment. Whiskey helps.
Our HOA has officially dumped Exact.
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