Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Vacation is fabulous...especially when it's almost 3 weeks long. Although, I was only granted 2 days of ET for week 2 which meant I had to do a random shift right in the midst of this period of time. Suck. Especially sucky when this shift followed 2 days of being ill (surprise of surprises) with no sleep the previous night. No possibility of calling in sick because who would believe me? So, to work I dragged my ass and thankfully I had 1 stable patient the entire day. Aside from that day, I've been on vacation since 730 pm 10.15 and go back to work 7 pm 11.4. It's been primarily a staycation, doing things here and there. I got my car detailed, went to a required 4 hour computer class (work-related system upgrade education) and staff meeting, attended the annual Koenig chili cook-off event, shopped in Tilton, etc. I dealt with a bug (my immune system continues to fail me) which made me throw up multiple times for the first time in YEARS. As of Tuesday, I have my wood floor in my bedroom and Xander got his teeth cleaned. When I went to pick him up at the vet, they told me he had been kidnapped because they didn't want him to leave. He was purring, rubbing, and making biscuits wildly. Even at the vet, he is so damn sweet and loving. Now, he has a shaved patch on his arm from the IV...lol. Today, my hair got a badly needed cut and color. Festivities to come include trick or treating, a Halloween party, and TRIBAL SEEDS in Providence. A repeat?!?! Apparently this winter is going to suck more than usual so I need to start planning a tropical solo getaway asap.

The rest of September was fairly uneventful. Partook in some birthday celebrations (Shley and Jeff). On the 19th, I went apple picking with Heather, Simone, Amy and her kids at Alyson's Orchard in Walpole. It was a good time, pretty day topped off with a stop at Burdick's on the way home (Simone helped herself to some chocolate) and I made a very tasty crisp from those apples. Dayna and I did some shopping and saw Stick Figure in Burlington on the 28th. A good show (also with Hirie and Pacific Dub) we met some of the band members after but didn't get invited to hang out with them on the bus lol (btw Stick Figure's manager=creepy).

The first half of October I spent counting down the days until vacation start. On the 1st, I got the flu shot before going home from work in the morning. I felt poorly when I woke up from my nap and subsequently woke up the following day with a fever. A bad cold came along with that and lingered for a long time. Had to call out Friday but managed to drag my ass to work the rest of the weekend. Uneventful otherwise, although it makes me so happy to note that it was in the mid-70s and sunny on the 14th. I went for a walk on the rail trail...I miss being so close to the part that goes along the entire length of Mascoma lake. I should spend as much time on it as I can before it starts snowing. As of Columbus Day, Grammy Fran is an official VT resident. I still haven't gotten a chance to go see them yet though for various reasons. We tentatively planned on a sleepover either the 20th or 21st but they traveled to Albany to get her car and she didn't call me back. I was supposed to go over on the 26th with mom, Heather, and Simone but I was sick and apparently so were the old ladies. Maybe this Saturday?

So a little about my work life before I sign off...I'm really struggling about what I'm going to do. I hate going to work and I'm not sure how much longer I'm willing to live with this level of unhappiness in my life. The anxiety of the unknown and lack of experience is wearing on me. Part of me says life is too short to spend any amount of time doing something that makes me feel this way but part of me is stubborn and wants to push through and complete this solid year of professional obligation. My erratic schedule makes me feel tired all the time and the stress is compromising my immune system. I talked to a handful of coworkers at Gina's going away party and everyone encouraged me to give it more time because what I am feeling is normal. Do I really want to get through this experience only to go through 2 years of pure schooling misery? I feel like a lost soul these days with no direction or interests. Something's got to give. Please?