A New Life

 Wed: I got up early to get ready (and pack) for a GYN appointment. I guess I should be exploring the possibility of the paxil being the culprit of my night sweats. I headed to Cornish for the day and night from my appointment to hang with my boys. We spent most of the afternoon into the early evening, taking a break for lunch and hot chocolate. Mason went back to his moms after we had chinese food from Windsor for dinner. I took a shower then we relaxed for a bit and called it a night.

Thurs: We woke up to a white christmas. Relaxed a little, tended to my waffle batter then we got ready to head to my mom's for brunch. As we were leaving, something got in my left eye and within a minute it was insanely itchy, bright red, and the sclera had swelled a lot. I flushed it a bunch throughout the day but it remained pretty irritated. Very bizarre. When we got back to Cornish, I packed up and headed home to snug some ladies and get ready for work. I did a 10 on Friday, popped home for a little bit then headed to Cornish for our Xmas eve. 

Sat: After having difficulty falling asleep (Mike didn't help), Mason woke up for the first time around 0300, but was up again at 0630 so we gave up and got up to do Christmas morning. We had breakfast, played, relaxed, put food in the crockpot until it was time to join the family party upstairs. So much good food and an obscene amount of dessert. I went home to hang with the girls, organize some things, and catch up on some sleep.

Sun: I got up and got ready to head to Hartland to meet M&M at the house we looked at (making a quick pitstop at the Depot) and I was the last to arrive. The tank had run out of oil, pipes were frozen and the CO2 alarm was going off. This effectively ended our bid. I hit the grocery store afterwards on the way home, did some stuffies, took a walk, and spent the rest of the evening with my love.

Wed: Mike and I got up to look at a house in Unity. It had an interesting layout but had been poorly maintained as a rental for many years. Land and the pond was great but considering the amount of work and money needed, we could not afford the asking price. We stopped in Ctown to have lunch at the Barn then headed back to Unity to grab Mason. We chilled for a bit, I did a barre class then we got ready to head to a NYE get together at the Dryes. We got back a little late, Mason had a breakdown and Mike left his phone at the party so he had to go back.

Thurs: The boys let me sleep in a little and we spent the morning relaxing. Around 1, we decided it was time to make steps towards getting out. We packed up and headed north; we drove to the rail trail to take a walk but that was short lived because it's too fucking cold. We grabbed some things from the fords then settled in at my place. Did some chores and chillin then we had a movie night (Stand By Me). The boys headed to bed and I finished up a few things and called it a night with a New Year's pint.

Fri: The boys woke me after letting me sleep in a bit, we hung out for a little bit then got ready to head out for the weekend. We drove past a potential house in Springfield, NH then headed back to Cornish to get Mason ready to go back to his moms. We headed to CT, driving straight to the rehab facility where his dad is for a visit. Afterwards, we went out for pizza then headed to his dad's house to call it a night.

Sat: Woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Finally got up and made some coffee and had relaxing coffee time in bed. I went for a treadmill run then got ready for the day. Had some food then the adults headed out to visit Mike's dad in the hospital again. From there, we grabbed a few groceries then went back to his dad's place to play some games and make dinner. After they left, we talked more house stuff then called it a night.

Sun: Mike and I slept in later than expected. We ended up leaving the house after 9. We stopped to visit his dad once more before leaving town to head home. We had some spirited moments but we got through it without too much damage. We grabbed a few things at the fords once we got back into town then we were in for the night. We did some laundry, exercised a few times, did other Sunday stuffies then started watching Ozark. 

Wed: I passed out on the couch last night and moved to bed around 0300. I passed out and got, in total, close to 12 hours of sleep. I needed that. I had my relaxing coffee time. I joined a group to start getting advice on my transmission fiasco. I had a therapy appointment which was very much needed as it's been a rough week. I ran a few errands then headed home. Chatted with Emily, vacuumed a bit, cleaned up the kitchen, took a nice bubble bath and did some laundry. It's pizza and ice cream time.

Fri: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I finally got up and did some stuffies, some laundry, vacuuming and dishes. I started getting some info and advice on my transmission. I got ready, packed a bag then headed to Claremont to go to a high school classmate's husband's calling hours. I met M&M for dinner at the Common Man afterwards then we went to Time Out after. I wasn't feeling it so I ended up leaving to unsuccessfully grab my rings from my mom then ended up driving home sobbing. And that's when everything changed for me.

Sat: I didn't want to get out of bed so I didn't. I finally got up at 6 to take a shower. I did the bare minimum until it was time to go back to bed. Big garbage feeling in the head. 

Sun: I woke up feeling better. I had my coffee time and managed to do some laundry, go for a walk and make a quick trip to the store for some groceries. I had a long chat with Sherry on the phone and felt even better.

Mon: I decided to call out and take a me day. I slept in, had my quiet coffee time and decided to start watching the Pitt on HBO max. I was hoping it was more realistic than most other medical shows but I found myself throwing my arms up a few times in response to the rediculous scenarios. I'm wondering if there will ever be a show that actually shows what it's like to code someone and do real fucking compressions. I didn't do much else.

Wed: Slept in. Had relaxing coffee time. Finally got up to eat something, clean up the kitchen a little bit and did the monthly cleaning of the girls' potty room. I took a long walk, breaking it up with a quick trip to CVS.

Fri: I slept in and had relaxing coffee time, did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, started taking down all my xmas stuff, chatted with Kirsten and changed the filter in my air purifier system.

Sat: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I made broth in the crockpot. I finished up some laundry, did some dishes, finished packing up my xmas stuff, did my monthly computer stuffies, grocery shopped and made banana bread. Oh and bought a concert ticket.

Sun: Woke up and had my coffee time. I strained my broth that had been simmering all night. I put ingredients (including some broth) for a chicken dish in the crockpot to cook all afternoon. I did a kitchen cleanup and ran a few errands. Not much reserve for other things so I called it a night.

Wed: Slept in and had a relaxing coffee morning. I cleaned up the kitchen, finally cleaned my bathroom, ran a few errands, ran on the treadmill while watching the first episode of the Reckoning.

Fri: I slept in and had relaxing coffee time. Overall, I was pretty lazy although I managed to do some laundry, make breakfast and clean up dishes. I spent the evening in Hartland hanging out with the Crains.

Sat: Slept in, had relaxing coffee time. Did some laundry, the dishes, watched another episode of the reckoning and called it a night.

Sun: Slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. Cleaned up the kitchen, did some stuffies, watched the last 2 episodes of the Reckoning, and had a good treadmill run.

Wed: Slept in, relaxing coffee time, Obe workout, groceries

Fri: slept in, coffee time, did some stuffies, read more american history, finished up some yoga and called it a day.

Sat: slept in, coffee time, breakfast, made some soup, shower, lazy.

Sun: slept in and had my relaxing coffee time, cleaned up the kitchen (including steam mopping), vacuumed the house and did some yoga before calling it a day. 

Wed: slept in and had my relaxing coffee time, had a good cry, cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, went out to buy windshield fluid then came home to use my new portable tire inflator (unfortunately I blew a fuse in my car due to starting my car not once but twice with it plugged in so I had to go to O'Reillys to rectify the situation), washed all my bedding, went for a run downstairs then called it a night.

Thurs: I wasn't feeling work so I stayed home, slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I cleaned up the kitchen a bit, did some HOA stuff, spiffed up my second bedroom and sat down to read my book before calling it a night.

Fri: I was supposed to go cross country skiing with Crystal this morning but I ended up canceling because I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I dozed off and on for hours and didn't decide to get out of bed until 1430. Oh well. I just migrated to the couch and had my coffee time. Did some random stuffies, snacked, did a load of laundry, and had a long catch up phone call with Goewey. I got 5Guys for dins and called it a night.

Sat: Due to the weather and road conditions, my lunch and cross country skiing dates were canceled (Simone was also sick so we postponed our weekend yet again) so I ended up sleeping in and having relaxing coffee time. I made a big chewy order, started the girls' DNA project, did yoga and an arm workout, made a grocery run and called it a day.

Sun: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. Did some random stuffies, made a batch of guac, read my book, then called it a day to shower, make nachos and watch the Seahawks kick the Patriots' ass and Bad Bunny make conservative snowflakes cry. 

Mon: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I did the dishes, had some cereal, collected some cheek swabs, read a long chapter in my book, went for a run downstairs and called it a night. I still need to sign up for HRS so I guess I'll call it a night after that.  

Wed: I woke up before my alarm was set to go off so I got up and had an abbreviated coffee time. I managed to get a good cheek swab from Maebs before I had to shower and head to my massage appointment. I ran to CVS and the recycling center before going home to do some stuffies and do a load of laundry. I then headed to a much needed therapy appointment then stopped at the fords before I went home. I did more stuffies and got ready for work then sat down to read a few things and write some messages. I randomly heard from Mike. Showered and calling it a night.

Sat: I slept in as I had a late night Friday. Had my relaxing coffee time. Scheduled an appointment, revised an email, did the monthly cleaning of the cat potty room, took a walk, did some grooming, showered and calling it a night with tortellini. 

Sun: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I got up, did some stuffies, had something to eat then went out for a walk wearing sunglasses. Came home half frozen, ran to the grocery store, did more stuffies, took a shower, then made a quiche. 

Wed: I slept in late because I got home from work at 10 last night. I had relaxing coffee time until I got up to do some stuffies and meet with a potential electrician for WW. We walked around the neighborhood, chatted about the issues and now we're waiting for a couple quotes. About an hour after he left, Emilee stopped in and we caught up for a while. After she left, I finished some laundry, made spaghetti sauce, updated the Board, then called it a night.

Fri: I slept in and had relaxing coffee time. I revised an email, initiated a return, did a load of delicates, read a chapter in my book, then basically called it a night. I'm struggling with the right way to proceed with my life, it's snowing and it's time for a Friday night pint.

Sat: Woke up to my alarm because I had tentative lunch plans with Erika and Erin. Due to questionable road conditions and strep throat, it was postponed again so I had my relaxing coffee time. I got up to eat something, do random stuffies, clean up the kitchen, then gathered myself to head downstairs for a nice, long treadmill run.

October Vaca Halfway

 Sat: Woke up at a decent time. Had relaxing coffee time. Did some minor stuffies then got ready to head to Maddy's last home game (L 0-6), making a pit stop for curbside crunchies. From the game, I went to Salt Hill for DJ's birthday party. It was fun to be social and have a few beers for an evening. 

Sun: Woke up at a decent time. Had relaxing coffee time. I finished watching the Hulu documentary about Hurricane Katrina, read some of my book then Mike stopped by for a visit. After he left, I did some Barre, went grocery shopping, showered then called it a night with a pint.

Mon: Had my relaxing coffee time then got up and started the deviled egg process. I took a bunch of boxes primarily from my basement to the recycling, making more room for shelf storage. I went for a walk to finish meeting my calorie quote, showered then made a pumpkin cheesecake and finished the deviled eggs. 

Tues: I decided to get up and have my coffee time before heading in for the potluck at work fashionably late. From there, I went to get a massage then popped into the fords for taco Tuesday supplies. Mike came over and we chatted, had dinner and watched the first episode of the new season of Nobody Wants This.

Wed: I woke up pretty early for me and despite trying, I could not go back to sleep. Once I got out of bed, I had my relaxing coffee time then got up to get ready for my therapy appointment. I came home to do some stuffies, clean up the dishes then I headed outside to clean up my dead hostas. I ran an errand, went to Public House to have dinner with Kate then home to shower and call it a night.

Thurs: I had to set my alarm because Miss Quinn had a morning date with the vet. She was scared and peed in the crate but was such a good girl. I need to work on getting her to consume more water. Once we were home, I had relaxing coffee time then spent the rest of the afternoon finishing deep cleaning my kitchen and finishing a barre class. FYI, for hard brownies, the wet paper towel and short microwaves work like a charm. 

Fri: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. I did some stuffies and made a delicious apple crisp. I knocked out a little barre then got ready to head to ctown (as a cat) for the Halloween party at the Imperial. Had a few rum and cokes, got some good people watching in then headed out around midnight to go home, making a quick fast food pit stop. I don't think I got 1 damn trick or treater.

Sat: I wasn't able to fall asleep so I only slept for a few hours before I woke up at 9 for some reason. I had my coffee time then relaxed and ended up dozing for an hour. I did some laundry, some Barre then called it a night with a bubble bath. 

Sun: Daylight Savings Time, fall back style. I had my coffee time then got up and did some stuffies. I took a walk and made a chicken pot pie chowder and it actually came out pretty good. Next time I will use rotisserie chicken and add biscuits. Mike and I hung out for the evening and had our first sleepover in some time. 

Wed: Relaxing coffee time until shortly after noon then I did some stuffies and started deep cleaning my living room in preparation for the tree. Yup, I'm not waiting for Thanksgiving. I took a shower then spent the evening with my boys decorating for Xmas, relaxing and eating dins. 

Fri: Decent wake up and nice coffee time. I cleaned up the kitchen a little bit then Mike picked me up for our adventure to Charlestown to look at a house. We got there early and hiked the 12 acres for a bit then met their realtor for a tour of the house. It has good bones but there's a lot of cosmetic work to be done; it has a lot of potential to become a great little house and property. We are putting an offer in tomorrow. We went to dinner at the Sumner House then headed home, making a pit stop at the chopper for ice cream. 

Sat: I woke up and had relaxing coffee time. Mike left early to accomplish some projects at home. I cleaned up the dishes and deep cleaned the couch section of my living room. It was a very gross, cat toy jackpot situation. Much better now. I also deep cleaned my kitchen window and ended up breaking something (not glass) somehow. I went for a short walk then got ready to head to Cornish for the night with a quick Chopper pitstop. We had dinner with J&B and relaxed. I read my book and went to bed. 

Sun: I slept in a little bit while Mike replaced my brakes. We relaxed for a little bit then headed back to Leb to run some errands but Black Betty ended up acting funny. Mike is sure he didn't cause it and thinks it's the transmission and it progressively got worse so we brought it to the dealership. I've got the tracker for the week. We'll see what they say. We went back to Cornish to grab the truck, returned to grocery shop and head home for the night. We relaxed, made dinner, I finished my Barre class, showered then got back under the heated blanket. Oh and we agreed to an offer on a house.

Wed: I got up and had my coffee time. Once I got up, I cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, had a financial fitness zoom call, cleaned the ladies' potty room, put clean sheets on my bed, did a barre class then called it a day.

Fri: Got up at a decent time and had my coffee time. I figured out how to give myself a loan from my retirement account; I've now done it twice on the computer and am unsure if it went through. I took a a walk and when I got back, the boys were here. We hung out, made dins and had a movie night with Hook. I just requested the loan through my Vanguard app and it appeared to work. 

Sat: I woke up to some coffee time with my boys. I colored with Mason for a little bit while Mike set up my little treadmill, ate breakfast then we got ready to run some errands. Chris stopped by then we headed to the Rail Trail for a walk. We got stuff for dinner then headed home for the night to relax and watch movies. I did my computer stuffies and now I'm ending the day with Christmas Tree cakes. 

Sun: Just shy of 8, my boys woke me up and got me out of bed. I had my coffee time then got on the floor to color pictures with Mason. I had breakfast, played some more then the boys headed home. I ran some errands, made a grocery haul, did some home stuffies, ran on my new treadmill (felt better than I was expecting), took a shower, played with Mike then we made nachos for dinner and relaxed. 

Wed: Coffee time, did some dishes, laundry, and vacuuming, went to my therapy appointment, ran some errands, returned home to take a short walk, make guac for a work potluck, then called it a day.

Fri: I had relaxing coffee time, then got up to vacuum a little bit, wash some dishes, and start some laundry. I ran on the treadmill then showered and got ready to head to Cornish for the night. We had dinner then we played until it was quiet time. We went to bed pretty late.

Sat: We slept like poo so I woke up pretty tired. I had my coffee, relaxed a bit, Mike dropped Mason off with his mom then we got ready to walk a piece of land in Cornish. We briefly walked another (too steep) piece then drove to another piece to check it out before heading back to Leb. We napped (Mike longer than me) then I got up to do some things and take a shower; once he was up, we went to 5 Guys for dins then grabbed some groceries before calling it a night. We've been watching Black Rabbit. 

Sun: I had a boy alarm around 8ish. We hung out, he made breakfast, I made coffee, then he headed back to Cornish to pack for the holiday. I finished my morning time, got up to start dinner in the crockpot, opened delivered packages, cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, then Mike was back. We were going to walk another piece of land today but we decided against it and he took a nap and I cleaned my bathroom. Afterwards, I did a good run, took a shower, ate dinner then Mike and I played a little bit before relaxing for the evening. 

Sun: The boys and I have been in CT for the past 5 days for the turkey day holiday. The first 3 nights, we were at his dads and the last night, we were on the farm. His dad had been in the hospital (got the VID), and had been moved to a rehab facility for 10-14 days. For that reason, it was pretty low key. Mike made pizza and I made salad for dinner Thursday. Mike and then eventually us paid his dad many visits throughout the time we were there. Highlights include: relaxing, hide and seek, TV, walks, Xmas lights, duchess, trampoline park, new boyfriend. The ride to East Lyme was uneventful and leftover farm Thanksgiving was amazing. Family is fun and science is science. We headed home in the rain (after visiting the chickens) and arrived home in snow. A typical Sunday evening ensued.

Wed: I slept in then dragged my butt out of bed to have my coffee and snuggle time with the ladies. Once motivated, I got up and had something to eat, cleaned up the kitchen, did some stuffies and some Barre before getting ready to head to Cornish to hang out with the boys. I grabbed Moe's on the way and we just hung out and set up their little tree. Get to tha TRACKA.

Sun: I stayed home while Mike went to CT to hang with his dad. I needed at recharge weekend with quality time with the ladies so I allowed myself to be lazy. I slept in all 3 days. Friday, I stayed home all day cleaning up the kitchen a little bit, doing laundry, finishing a barre class, making the bed, etc. Black Betty came back to me (twice, the check engine light came on as they pulled into the neighborhood so they had to go back to fix a loose connection). Saturday, I was lazy but managed to do more laundry and go for a short run on the treadmill. Emilee and I went to Morgan's Christmas party for a few hours; it was very festive and fun and we snacked and sipped and did trivia. Today, I relaxed after I woke up until it was time to go to my moms for dinner. She made thanksgiving for us (Denise, Faith, Colin, and Mike). It was tasty and delightful without drama, however, Denise is a walking zombie right now and I'm still processing it. Despite that, a typical Sunday ensued.

Wed: My car battery died so I got up early to bring Mike to work so I could at least make it to 2/3 appointments before he needed the Tracker back to get Mason off the bus. He called me soon after to head to Wal Mart to grab a new battery and pick him up so he could switch my battery real quick. He went back to work and I had black betty to make it to all 3 of my appointments. I did some stuffies, ate breakfast then got my teeth cleaned and headed to Hanover afterwards to my therapy then hair appointments. I ran a few errands then headed home to call it a night. Exhausted. 

Sun: I had a restful/fun/tiring weekend with my boys. Friday, I slept in and relaxed for a while. I got up to do the girls' monthly potty room service, made something to eat then got ready to drive to Burlington. I went to Higher Ground to see Mihali and they were pretty fucking excellent. I drove to Cornish from the show. Saturday, I was woken up by my boys and I spent the morning hanging out with Mason while Mike worked on the side by side. When he was done, we got ready and headed to the Dickersons to play and make gingerbread houses (grabbing pizza on the way). We had a 530 time slot at VINS for the canopy Xmas light walk and it was pretty fun. We made a pit stop at my house so I could grab a few things and take care of the girls, then we headed back to Cornish to call it a night. We all got better rest and got up to get ready to head to Chester for a play date. We hung out, chatted, and grazed while the boys played, breaking up the afternoon with sledding. We left and made a pitstop at the VCS and Claremont to visit the singing house and drive Nelmar Heights. We finished the night with grocery shopping, tacos, stuffies and a long goodnight. 

Wed: I allowed myself to sleep in. I had my relaxing coffee time and snuggled with the girls, caught up on stuff and did a little shopping. I did some laundry, a little bit of vacuuming and kitchen clean up, and other tasky things. I opened deliveries and did some wrapping, took a Barre class then popped out to run a quick errand. I talking to Mike then showered and called it a day.

Fri: I allowed myself to sleep in and have a relaxing late morning, early afternoon. I finally got up to eat something, folded some laundry then headed downstairs for a quick run. Mike was here by then so I took a shower and got ready while he napped. We went to Kotos for dinner, had some fun then called it a night.

Sat: Mike woke me up and we chilled in bed for a little bit. We were up and ready just a little after 9 to go look at a house in Hartland. We are going to put an offer in but for far less than asking price. We headed back to my house to discuss it for a bit then Mike headed home and I stayed to do some computer stuff, relax for a bit, do some laundry, then I got ready to go to Cornish for the night, making pitstops at KAF, CVS, and Target. I did some barre, showered, then we had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and watched a movie.

Sun: We had a relaxing morning; he went out to work on the side by side and I finished my barre class then got ready to head back home, making a few pitstops. Mike napped while I did Sunday stuffies and wrapped my last present. We got take out for dinner then hung out for the rest of the evening.  

It's Going to be a Very Long, Sad Winter.

 Sat: after relaxing coffee time, I did some laundry, my monthly computer stuffies, a little journaling, then headed to Killington to hang out with Suzy for the night. She booked an airBnB for a mini vacation in Killington. We went to the clubhouse to use the sauna, pool and hottub. We made dinner then chatted and watched an episode of a show she's being watching until calling it a night. 

Sun: we woke up early to get ready and head to Suzy's Spartan race, arriving around 7. Her wave started at 830 and she finished about 1.5 hoursish later. I hung out and chatted with her brother until we headed to a better spot to see her finish the race (at a very impressive time). We went out for breakfast then headed back to the airBnB to hang out and chat. It kept my mind off of Mike a little bit and her from backing out of the race. I headed out by 3, making a few pit stops and getting home around 5. I was cleaning the box and I heard Mike dropping stuff off so I opened the door and we chatted for a little bit. Since then, I've been feeling particularly awful and only recently was able to stop crying. This is really hard.

Wed: The past 2 days at work have been ok. My coworkers are keeping me occupied and laughing. I allowed myself to sleep in today. Unfortunately, I had weird dreams, all with Mike in them. And I was drenched when I woke up. I had to shower and do some small stuffies then I headed to my appointment. I cried for the first time and spent the hour talking about my breakup. I went to King Arthur Flour then headed home to start a bunch of laundry and take a walk. I put all new and fresh bedding on the bed and took another quick shower. Being alone in a king bed is very sad these days.

Fri: I allowed myself to sleep in. Unfortunately, it wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been because I had more Mike dreams and woke up drenched in sweat. I had a relaxing coffee morning/early afternoon but I had a headache for most of it. I got up and accomplished a few tasky things and made some food. I started some laundry then went for a walk, made a quick trip to the chopper for whipped cream then called it a night with the ladies. I need ice cream. 

Sat: I let myself sleep but I woke up at a decent time. I had my relaxing coffee time, did some stuffies then started a long message to Mike. I had to stop after some decent progress to get ready to go to Maddy's soccer game (1-1). I drove to Claremont to catch the last bit of Logan's game with Emilee then we hung out for the rest of the evening catching up and grabbing dinner at Ramuntos. 

Sun: I got up at a relatively decent time. I had my relaxing coffee time. I spent the time I needed finishing an email to Mike. I sent it. What will be will be. I spoke my peace. I still feel quite misunderstood. I folded some laundry, vacuumed the house, disassembled and cleaned my small kitchen appliance, took a walk and made a run to the grocery store. I'm sad.

Wed: I set my alarm but allowed myself to hit snooze a bunch. Weird ass dreams. I had to take a shower and get to a derm appt. by 1115. My booboo toe finally got froze. It smarts. I ran a few errands then popped in at home before heading to my ACLS recert class. It was actually quite delightful. When I got home, I rested under my heated blanket then did some stuffies and 30 min. of barre. A pint is calling my name. I miss Mike at night. 

Fri: I woke up to a 10 am alarm drenched in sweat. This is really getting old. I had relaxing coffee time, then took a shower to get to a massage appointment which was delightful (will be returning for more self-care), but there was way more conversation than I was anticipating lol. I went home to do some stuffies then Mike came over to get something and we talked for a bit. He's coming back tomorrow to install my new microwave above my stove. We are going to remain in each others lives, we've decided, and we'll cross certain bridges when they present. I went for a walk and took a shower. Another pint is calling my name. 

Sat: I got up and had some relaxing coffee time. Did a few minor stuffies then I got ready to head to Lydi's 4th birthday party, stopping along the way to drop off my old smoke detectors. As usual, lots of silliness and laughter with the crew and it was a beautiful day to boot. Mike got to my house to start working on my microwave while I was still in Windsor. I got home close to 5 and we just hung out while he finished. We got take out and ended up talking for a while and now I really want to be with him more than anything. I wish he understood me.   

Sun: I had trouble sleeping last night so I ended up getting out of bed after noon. I couldn't breathe out of my nose so my mouth got really dry and I was just too uncomfortable. I got up and took a antihistamine and finally fell asleep, only to wake up out of a dead sleep because my earring was cutting into my earlobe in a very painful way. Anywho, I had an abbreviated coffee time, got involved in a chat regarding my new bed frame that had broken the night before. Stayed upright afterwards to start laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, and vacuuming the house. Mike popped in to hang out and we ended up chatting for a bit. I don't think we are going to give up on each other. I failed to work out but I did squeeze in quick grocery trip.

Wed: I got up at a decent time and had some relaxing coffee time. I did a few stuffies then headed to my therapy appointment in Hanover. I ran a quick errand afterward (honking and screaming at Mike on the way home). I took a short walk then cleaned my bathroom, took another walk then called it a day. Spaghetti and ice cream for the win. 

Fri: Got up at a decent time and sipped my coffee and did some stuffies. I cleaned up the kitchen and did some laundry. I took half a barre class then hopped in the shower to get ready to head to Cornish. We spent the evening at Emily's house for Violet's birthday. Mike made pizza and we just hung out while the children played. Back in Cornish, we played a board game then I headed home for ice cream while the boys went to bed. 

Sat: Got up at a decent time and had my coffee time. I did some laundry, some dishes then got ready to head to Cornish for 2. We went to Jimmy's parents house for a birthday celebration for Jimmy. Beautiful property, good food, good people, good times. And I was sent home with a book about the reality of American history. I started reading it last night and was already sick to my stomach before I hit page 2. It's going to be a tough read but at least I already know this country was built on genocide and slavery. Yay America!

Sun: I woke up a little before 8 pretty tired because I didn't sleep well. It took me forever to fall asleep. We relaxed, Mike and I talked through some stuff, then we headed out. I went home and the boys went for a ride on my bike. I did some random stuffies until the annual community meeting. It was rather efficient and without drama. I banged out some grocery shopping then hopped in the shower. Mike and I had our usual Sunday. It's time for bed.

Wed: I slept pretty solid from about midnight to 10 this morning but unfortunately I woke up drenched. Tired of this already. I had my relaxing coffee time then I got up to clean up the kitchen a bit. I did half a Barre class then got ready to head to Maddy's home game. CSC won and she scored a goal. I headed home to do some tasks then I called it a night. Burrito bowl and ice cream. 

Fri: I was held late (again) Thursday so I let myself sleep in. I had my coffee time, did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and vacuumed a little bit, then Mike came over from work. We had some fun then I showered and got ready to head to Chester for a farm to table dinner at Bliss Farm with Sam and Jimmy and his parents (among several others). It was super cold but super fun and everything was delicious. I layered up and ended up drinking an entire bottle of wine...oops. I got some one on one time with Sam and once Mike and I got home, we passed out.

Sat: Mike woke me up at a decent time and very surprisingly, I felt better than I was anticipating. I had my coffee time then finished vacuuming, did laundry, and finished cleaning up the kitchen. I got ready to go to Maddy's home game (they tied) then from there, drove to Woodstock and had dinner with Kate. Picked up some ice cream on the way home and called it a night.

Sun: errands, groceries, crockpot, mike, walk 

Wed: I tried to sleep in but woke up earlier than expected. I got some coffee time in then got ready to head to therapy. From there, I went to Maddy's soccer game (they won), then to Windsor to hug the Dickersons as Mitzy had passed away this afternoon. I went home to wash a few dishes and called it a night.

Fri: Because of my nearly 14 hour day yesterday, I allowed myself to sleep in and sleep in I did. I had relaxing coffee time then got up and cleaned a few dishes then got ready to go to Logan's game (they lost). Emilee and I went to Ramunto's for dinner then I headed home to call it a night. I need ice cream. Also, waking up drenched every morning is getting fucking old. 

Sat: Slept in a bit. Forgot to make coffee. Got ready and went to Maddy's soccer game. They lost. I ended up staying past the game because it was our 20th homecoming weekend and I realized there were a bunch of people I knew there. It was fun to catch up for a bit but I was itching to get home and eat something, accomplish nothing, then eat more. Time for bed.

Sun: Woke up at a decent time (for me) and got some coffee time in. I got ready to meet M&M at the Lebanon airport. Thankfully it worked out weather wise and schedule wise because we had a blast, despite the wind and upset tummys. We circled around Ascutney and Claremont then headed back to Leb as Mason wasn't doing too well anymore. Thank you Dr. Jayne! Afterwards, I went home to eat, do a few things then took a walk until it got dark. Dinner, bed.

Mon: Got up at a decent time for me. Had my relaxing coffee time. Got up to do stuffies. Started vacuuming, cleaned up the kitchen, worked on laundry, then finally took advantage of an Athleta-gifted free trial of a fitness app and did an hour of Barre. Also managed to do my monthly statement stuffies. It was a cold and rainy day so it was perfect to putz around until it came to an end with a heated blanket and a pint.

Tues: I slept in and had my relaxing coffee time. Did some stuffies, finished vacuuming the house, worked on more laundry and set out on a walk while it was still sunny. Towards the end, Mike had to make a pitstop at the house then we chatted for a few after he found me on a side street. I showered, put clean sheets on the bed (my night sweats are out of control) had dinner and a pint then called it a night.

Wed: I slept in later than I was anticipating, but had relaxing coffee time nonetheless. I got up and did some stuffies, did a complete cleaning of the girls' water fountain. Updated my presence in the FB marketplace. I finally have a new set of pots and pans. I got ready to head to Logan's senior night (I fucked up the day, it was actually the previous evening), making pit stops at Leo's and the shelter before. I am so upset I missed it. I ended up heading to my moms, slowing driving down memory lane first, for a visit. I headed home to call it a night. I'm going to read my book. G'night

Thurs: I got up for a follow up derm appt. for my toe; the lesion is gone hopefully so I'm going to stop treating it and see what happens. From there, I went to a black betty service appt. and walked while they were working on it. 800 bucks later (not including the more expensive brake job I need in a few weeks) and I was on the road to run errands. I got food, went to the recycling facility, best buy, ATM (wallet mishap), Sunday Drive, and the Quechee markey where I found my pumpkin cheesecake ice cream. I headed home to eat and relax. Watched some TV, read my book then showered and called it a night with a pint.

Fri: I was supposed to get up for an 8 am car detail appt. but I ended up canceling and asking to reschedule (they have yet to respond) because I had GI distress as soon as went to bed Thursday night. I had severe diarrhea like cramps until I got up and power puked most of the pint I had eaten. Very strange. I ended up sleeping in and being a little lazy. I watched TV, did some laundry, consolidated all my cards and letters and sat down to read some of my book. Mike came over for an adult visit but didn't stay too long after. I had dinner, made brownies then called it a night. My tummy still isn't right.  

Back to School

 Mon (8.11): First day back at work. Long day...14 hours. I went back to work trialing 12 hour shifts and of course, on day 1, I'm still held hostage beyond my shift. It's the new norm and I have to accept the predictability with a better attitude and dedication or get off the pot. So far, it's nice to be back and I'm not sure why I was so anxious. Having had 3 months off, it was a lot smoother than I was anticipating. Despite the length, it was a good day. We worked through 5 cases and Flynny kept me going with energy and laughter. 

Tues: Another good day back at work. Cases the entire shift but done on time. Again, a lot of laughter but damn, I'm tired. 

Wed: Had my coffee time, did some laundry then headed out for a therapy appointment. Afterwards, I went to the 'fords for a grocery haul. Once home, I did my monthly computer stuffies, cleaned up the kitchen, chatted with Mike then called it a day.

Thurs: A more tame day at work. EP finished early so I stuck around to help the lab until 530. Dave let me go early so I could join the board meeting with G&C and N&C. Baby George was in attendance until his bedtime. Chloe made a very yummy dinner and we discussed some action items, planned our annual community meeting then disbanded for the night. Ice cream and girl snuggles before bed.

Fri: I got up at a relatively decent time and had my coffee time. I was off the couch before noon for once to start doing some stuffies. Not worth mentioning really but I did accomplish some minor things before managing to do 30 minutes of barre before getting ready to head to the Cornish fair. Amy and the kids didn't end up coming and Suzy canceled last minute so I got there later than I wanted and wasted a bit more time walking around trying to find my people (no cell service). I found the Dickersons first then we eventually located M&M. We got some good fair time in before they left and Mike had to bring Mason to his mom. We went to dinner at Three Tomatoes and capped the evening off with some fun adulting before going to bed.

Sat: Mark this on the calendar: I actually woke up (and stayed awake) before Mike woke up. I also did not nap. I did some laundry, went for a walk, cleaned my disgusting bathroom, than Mike and I went out to dinner in Lyme with his friend Scott. Afterward, we walked through the adjacent cemetery looking for the oldest headstone (1796, if memory serves). Once we got home, we relaxed for a little bit before heading to bed kind of early. 

Sun: I woke up to fun adult time then had some nice coffee time. We watched the Mule, I washed all the bedding, vacuumed the house, transferred stuff to my new crossbody, filled the water dispenser (for the last time, hopefully), took the second half of my barre class, showered and called it a night. Work night, early bedtime.

Wed: The past 2 days at work were good. Uneventful. I was tired this morning so I hit snooze a lot but I got up eventually to get ready to head to therapy. I was a few minutes late because my body decided to keep me in the bathroom a wee bit longer. Afterwards, I ran a few errands before going home to the girls. I did some small tasky things, snoozed on the couch then got up to put away a large Chewy order while waiting for my boys. We hung out, played video games, I made a blueberry cobbler (outcome is very questional), then we ate dins and started a movie. I didn't work out but I sure did eat ice cream!

Fri: Thursday was another good day at work despite getting out late. The boys stayed the night. Mike woke me up at 0830 and we were on the road to the Champlain Valley Fair up near Burlington. We met his friend Jess, her two kids and her mom and we were there for 6ish hours and had a blast. We stopped at Positive Pie in Montpelier for dinner on the way home and I spent the rest of the evening preparing for my new fridge by stuffing all my frozen stuff in Chloe and Geoff's freezer. Went to bed later than I should have. 

Sat: I got up early to start doing the final prep for the fridge switchout. They arrived around 0845ish and the new fridge was plugged in about an hour later. I put everything back in the new fridge and slowly realized the freezer was coming to temp fine but the fridge wasn't budging. It still hasn't budged and I will be calling again tomorrow. So irritating. Mike plugged in my old fridge in the garage and all my perishables were moved yet again. Despite that, I did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, took a little couch siesta, took out all my recycling and went for a short walk before coming back home to my boys. We had dins and watched the Sandlot before calling it a night. 

Tues: A good couple of days at work. Busy; both rooms ran late both days and I got home at 9 last night. Despite this, I remain in a good, silly, and energetic mood.  I hope this keeps up. Also, it's been nice getting to know our new and temporary people. Sunday, I got up and hung out with my boys. I got ready and headed to Winooski to hang out with Sarg. We relaxed at her place to catch up, headed out to take an easy hike on a trail that hugs Lake Champlain, grabbed some food and was home close to 7ish to get ready for the week and have taco night with my boo.

Thurs: Today was a good day at work. Busy but plenty of staff and the last room was done by 6. Did some stocking and setting up for the following day, peacing out by 1915. Wednesday, I slept in a bit, had relaxing coffee time, did some tasky stuffies, vacuumed my house, finished the official transfer to the new fridge, ran some errands (finally patronizing Katie's cookies), and took a walk. I spent the evening with my boo.

Fri: I slept in a bit: great start to a 4 day weekend. I had relaxing coffee time, caught up on some journaling, cleaned up the kitchen, cleaned out and organized the food storage cupboard. Mike and I went out to dinner at Public House in Quechee, took a little real estate tour on the way back. We relaxed and I painted my nails before calling a green light on ice cream night. Claremont public schools are fucked.

Sun: Mike got me up to get ready and leave the house by 0830 to drive to Killington to help his sister move out of her apartment. We spent about 5 hours helping them out then we headed to Croydon to visit the camp and hang with the family that inherited it. We headed back home to relax, bathe & shower, order pizza and watch Band of Brothers. 

Sat: Mike left mid-morning so I had relaxing coffee time, got up to do a few stuffies and clean up the kitchen a little. I did half a Barre class, took a short walk, then got ready to head to Ctown with Mike. I dropped off a few things to Simone at a friend's house, dropped off some food at the shelter, then headed out to Charlestown to check out a house on the town line. We visited at my moms for a while then headed to Common Man for dinner. Bedtime followed close behind.

Sun: Mike woke me up gently at 8. I had relaxing coffee time and we had something to eat then we headed out to do some errands. We went to get a part, went to Mattress Firm, Best Buy, BJ's and Hannafords. We came back to snack, then headed out on the bike to buy corn and walk the boundary of a piece of property on Center Rd. we are thinking about purchasing. We got back and I ordered a Nectar bundle online (which ended up taking too much time) we had decided on. King. Yep, we are there. We grilled and ate dinner outside and just had a lovely evening with my man and the ladies. Happy Labor Day.

Wed: I actually woke up at a decent time but relaxed in bed for a while. I finally got up and had more relaxing couch and coffee time. I did some stuffies then headed out to my therapy appointment. I headed to Cornish from there to get Mason off the bus. I waited too long in construction traffic so once I left West Leb, I broke multiple road rules to get there on time. We snacked, played outside with bubble guns, then hung inside until Mike got home. We then headed to walk our potential land purchase again then came back home to make dinner. We watched a few South Park episodes then I headed home to the ladies to call it a day.

Thurs: I woke up early (but not as early as I should have. I got my dishwasher and stove replaced with the remaining new ones. I did some stuffies, ate some cereal, did a half Barre class, went for a walk, ran a few errands then came home to relax and eat leftover pizza. Ended the evening with a chat with my boys. 

Sat: The boys came over  and Mike started working on our bed project. Mike took apart the spool bed and removed all the pieces. He then moved my queen into the guest room and set it up. Then I cleaned the spot and he set up the new king frame and headboard. We ran a bunch of errands, came back home, played, did some stuffies, then I headed out to grab a few groceries. We had a movie night with Jurassic Park, Mike put Mason to bed then we had our own playtime. 

Sun: We got up and had coffee/breakfast, relaxed and played a bit then got ready to head to New London to watch Maddy play soccer against Keene State. Emilee told me noon but her game didn't actually start until 2 so we only caught some of the game (needed to eat, too) before we headed to Ctown to check out a cookie/dino event at Runnings. We took a scenic route back to Cornish (stopping at the Darlings' for a visit) getting back in time to give Mason back to his mom. We drove back to my house for a yummy crockpot dinner and sweets before calling it a night.

Wed: I was woken out of a bad dream by my alarm where 2 concurrent deaths were happening (an EP patient on the table and a random child outside whose head I saw get smashed in by a falling tree. I was sobbing in my dream and drenched in sweat when I woke up. This world is horrible and I can't even escape it in my dreams. Anyways. My old fridge got picked up. I had relaxing coffee time. I did some laundry. Mike came over and helped me with the new mattress. We fought. I did some stuffies, cleaned the girls' litter box room, went for a walk and Mike and I broke up. I ran to the chopper for whipped cream and called it a night. 

Thurs: I called out of work, slept in and pretty much did absolutely nothing. I started a documentary on Hurricane Katrina. Dozed. Ate spaghetti. Went back to bed for the night before 8 PM. Cried some. 

Fri: I slept in a little bit. Had some relaxing coffee time. Did some laundry, cleaned up the dishes, vacuumed the house, and chatted with Mike (more like listened to him lecture me), ran a few errands and went for a long walk. Housed a pint and called it a night. My mind keeps going between wanting to fight or just giving up on everything altogether.  

2025 Summer Vacation, cont.

 Sat, Jan. 12th: I did some laundry, took a walk, practiced on my motorcycle then met M&M for dinner at Lui Lui's. We had dinner with a nice family (relatives of a guy Mike befriended in Croydon who left him a camper, the tracka, and asked him to keep an eye on a cabin in Croydon for him posthumously). They were visiting from NY to look at the property to figure out what they wanted to do with it. I finished the evening at home by making a memorial for Mary Anna Durfey on the Find A Grave website where she's buried. 

Sun: M&M and I went to visit some of Mike's good friends in Bridgewater, VT. Lulu and the boys came too and we just hung out, chatted, snacked, walked the brook and rode fun vehicles. Olive is very cute and I found my new fridge. Once we got home after dropping off Mason, we had fun adult time and relaxed before bed.

Mon: I went grocery shopping after Mike and I completed a chunk of our motorcycle ecourse. We had a yummy spaghetti dinner then relaxed for the rest of the evening. 

Tues: We had morning adult fun then I headed to Hanover for a hair appointment. Afterwards, I spent some time in Starbucks killing time and continuing the ecourse until my therapy appointment. When I got home, I completed the ecourse, we had leftovers for dinner then took a trip to Cold Stone for a delicious treat and walked down to Mike's new work.

Wed: I relaxed for a bit, cleaned up my kitchen then headed to Cornish to go swimming and have a sleepover with my boys. Of course there was a stroll with a 4 wheeler. 

Thurs: I had my annual derm appointment in the morning. No issues and my derm doc removed a sticky outy mole on my left side body and informed me that one of my belly moles was most likely an accessory nipple. The first time I had heard that in my life. I cackled. After my appointment, I perused the coop for a few things then went home to relax a bit then vacuum the house. I took a short walk then planned on practicing on the bike but only got 15 minutes in before it started to pour. 

Fri: I alternated between motorcycle practice and a barre class completing about 2 and 1 hour, respectively.

Sat: Sooooo, back in the spring, Mike had signed us up for a two day licensing motorcycle course and today was day one. It will, from now on, be referred to as the day I had my motorcycle meltdown. I can laugh a little bit now, but I actually felt pretty terrible that day and for subsequent days. So, basically, it was a combination of factors combined with my inability to control my emotions for now. I was doing ok in the morning but something changed in the afternoon when I stalled my bike and couldn't figure out the issue without help. After that, I had trouble recalling the drill and made more mistakes then realized that I hadn't practiced nearly enough and I was most likely going to fail. I panicked and abruptly and angrily quit in a very public way. Mike was pissed. I spent the rest of the afternoon in the truck waiting for the day to end so I could disappear. I got really depressed but managed to clean myself up (after filling water bottles) for dinner out at Molly's. We got in a little tiff but dinner was good, overall. 

Sun: I woke up feeling pretty terrible still but throughout the day, my mood continued to improve as I processed and put things into perspective (Dayna helped with that). I ultimately realized I shouldn't feel so terrible because there are far worse things out there and I can pick it back up at any time and prepare better for success as I have a much better idea of what to expect. I did some laundry, grocery shopped, computer stuff then Mike and I went to Jesse's to celebrate his perfect score. 

Mon: I woke up work early and never really went back to sleep so I eventually got up to have relaxing coffee time. I made enchiladas, took a walk then got ready to head to Cornish for the night; we had dinner with Jan, Buss, and Larry (now I know Larry does not like cheese).  

Tues: I spent an hour in the Lord garden picking blueberries then had to run to my therapy appointment in Hanover (I was a little late). Afterwards, I ran some errands, weeded underneath and around my entire deck (getting better access by moving the grate), then Mike and I had some fun adult time.

Wed: I finally cancelled my pest services, took a walk, had a lovely dinner with Maddy at Poor Thoms, then headed to Cornish to spend the night with my boys. 

Thurs: I vacuumed the house. Midafternoon, I met Amy and the kids at the CCBA as they were finishing up soccer lessons. We got the kids ice cream then went for a short-lived walk on the rail trail as it was very hot and muggy out. We ended up heading to my house to hang out and catch up before they headed back home for dinner. It was a nice visit. I stayed outside for a bit to enjoy the hammock chair then called it quits for a shower and ice cream.

Fri: I did a barre class, caught up on some texting, did my nails, met my wall sit goal for the week, started going through the bottom of my closet and ended the day with some journaling. 

Sat: I did some packing, journaling, and went to the fair in North Haverhill with my boys. It was actually pretty fun and once I got home I finished cleaning and organizing the bottom of my closet (recycling a bunch of shoes in the process). 

Sun: I was in Cornish by 0845 for a 0900 departure to CT. Fortunately, when we got to Great Wolf Lodge, our room was ready so we could get all of our stuff out of the truck right off the bat. We explored a little bit, took a little rest then headed to the water park to do as much as we could before dinner. Everything was brand new and so fun. It took hours to do most of what the water park had to offer so we were there for the rest of the day with a late lunchy snack break. Bedtime came shortly after dinner.

Mon: All of us were up by 7 so we relaxed for a little bit before heading back down to the buffet for breakfast. We were at the water park as it opened then made the best of it until we had to get ready to check out. We made our way to the farm then relaxed a little bit before heading to the Dinosaur Place. It was neat checking it out for the first time after driving by it countless times over the years. It was mostly outdoors so we made the best of it before we couldn't handle the heat anymore. We chilled by and in the lake for a bit harvesting mussels to use as bait while trying to avoid lily pads and lake ickiness. We ended the day with a lovely spaghetti dinner w/ D&P (the boys ate pizza) and a few games of cribbage.

Tues: M&M and I went to breakfast at the Shack. When we got back, we drove across the street to walk around the farm but it was short lived due to the oppressive heat. We went back to D&P's to relax and do indoor activities. We had a cookout at their house for dinner with Cory, Marc (his girlfriend and her daughter), and Scarlet. It was fun: lots of random conversation, laughter and good food. Family stories, popsicles and candy, wine, hot tub time and more cribbage and uno.  

Wed: We were breakfasted and on the road heading to Mystic just before 10. We spent a few hours at the Mystic Aquarium then headed to Mystic Pizza for lunch. We had an uneventful ride home and I hung out for a little bit before continuing home to my girls. I unpacked and relaxed and headed to bed.  

Thurs: I had my annual eye appointment; overall, things look pretty good but I've gotten to the point where I'm going to finally break down and purchase my first pair of OTC reading glasses. I did some laundry, filled my water bottles, then M&M and I headed to Lake Morey resort to see the Elovators (redeemed from last summer). It was a lovely evening filled with yummy food, excellent music and beautiful scenery. Our glow sticks were very popular! 

Fri: I had relaxing coffee time for as long as I needed. I made an appt. for Quinn, vacuumed the house, did a few dishes, had fun adult time then headed out to pick up Mike's friend Scott and go have dinner at Peter Christians in New London. Afterwards, we walked through CSC campus, walked through the fair then headed back home for the night.

Sat: Mike and I went for a walk on the rail trail out to Mascoma Lake. We ran a few errands afterwards then went home to have a quick lunch. We spent the afternoon doing outdoor projects around mi casa: Mike installed my new shower head, cleaned out my garage, assembled my new deck furniture, and pressure washed a part of my house plus the deck and railings. I was in a more supportive role but kept busy with a bunch of smaller tasks i.e. getting of yard waste and making multiple trips to the dumpster and recycling. We got chinese take out and ate on the deck. 

Sun: I woke up at a decent time and got out of bed at a decent time (for me). I had nice relaxing coffee time catching up on emails, etc., then I decided I should get up and accomplish something because I needed to eat something as I was starving so I snacked on fruits and veggies and did some laundry, vacuumed a little, and some other small tasky things. Mike and I went for a nice ride on his bike then grabbed some groceries and headed home to make tacos. We watched Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix; it was pretty funny.

Mon: I allowed myself to sleep in a little bit but was up and working on cleaning up the dishes when Mike came home for lunch on his first day at the new job. After he went back to work, I had my coffee time then got up to snack and start doing some small tasky things. I started with the toilet in the other bathroom which became a more involved cleaning. I started vacuuming and reorganizing the linen closet which led to similar smaller projects in the spare room, the TV stand, and then I continued the laundry and took a shower. Mike came home then I headed out to run a couple minor errands then I borrowed a shovel from C&G; we chatted for a bit then Emily came over, then Mel came out to water, then we all converged on D&AM's deck to see their new baby. Mike and I had fun adult time, then I finished my pizza for dinner. I still need to boil eggs for deviled eggs tomorrow. Also, I bought myself a new crossbody bag today!

Tues: I actually got up at a decent time today but I had a little motivation to do so; I had to finish making deviled eggs (first time) for a potluck at work for Kathy's last day. It was at noon so I couldn't stick around for too long as I had a therapy appointment at 1. It went pretty well and afterwards, I ran a few eraands then headed home to finish some tasks ie. putting away dishes and washing the dirty, putting away clean clothes and reorganizing some drawers (starting a new textile recycling bag). I relaxed with Mike for a little bit after he got home from work, ate some leftover chinese food, then headed outside for a little bit to start digging up the bush between my fences. Overall, it was a good day and I'm feeling happy.

Wed: I ended up waking up at 3 and couldn't get back to sleep so it I cut into the morning because I fell back asleep after Mike left for work and I hit the snooze button for an hour and a half after the 0930 alarm I had set. Nothing takes my coffee time so I did that then needed to accomplish something so I cleaned up some dishes then put myself together to go outside and finish digging up the bush and pluck the hosta transplant in its place. I brought my new umbrella out back then hopped in the car to Target then Best Buy. I bounced between there and Home Depot before deciding on BB to pull the trigger and purchased a new fridge, stove and dishwasher. I am uber pumped. I headed back home to go through another drawer, talk to Mike and take a shower. I'm calling it a night. I will not catastrophize.

Thurs: Slept in a touch, had my coffee time then got up and folded some laundry. I went through another bureau drawer then Mike popped in to hang because he had time to kill between work and picking Mason up from camp. When I was getting ready for the farmer's market, I heard my new umbrella get blown off the deck, scaring the bejesus out of Maebs. I had secured it to a corner and opened the canopy to dry earlier and found it around the corner against my fence. Seems to be ok. I chatted with Hannah then poked around the farmer's market (buying a few samosas, took a picture with a snake, and saw Val) then took a walk around the area and on the rail trail until I burned sufficient calories. Once I got home, I returned the shovel I borrowed, took a shower and talked to Mike. Once I got off the phone, I realized I hadn't seen Quinn; turns out she had gotten outside again, when, I'm not exactly sure. I couldn't find her for a while but then I caught a glimpse of her so I ultimately went inside, propped the door open and turned all the lights off and eventually walked back inside. My fear had turned into anger at that point; I cannot let this happen again. Oh, and I'm starting to spiral again.   

Fri: I woke up a little after 5 and could not get back to sleep. I dozed and ended up hitting the snooze button a lot after it started going off at 0930. Quinn was snuggled with me for hours. I cannot lose her. I had relaxing coffee time then got up to be productive; I folded some laundry, started going through another drawer, vacuumed the house (Mike popped in for a quick visit and to get my bike), filled my water bottles, did the monthly cleaning of the laundry room,  and was on my bike by 1730, returning very sore already close to 2000. I chatted with Mike (Mason loved his first motorcycle ride), then took a shower, started a load of towels, and called it a day with the ladies. I am spiraling. 

Sat: I slept in a bit (shocking, I know), had some relaxing coffee time then got ready to head out to meet Simone at Starbucks. We popped in at home to drop stuff off then headed back out for lunch and shopping. We went to Wendy's, Crumbl, CVS, the Paper Store, Kohls, Target and LL Bean. We went to the movies to see Freakier Friday (I loved it) then headed home to eat a late dinner and watch more movies.

Sun: I didn’t sleep much and Simone forgot to set her alarm so we kinda sorta slept in a bit (well, actually, it was more dozing with dreams here and there). Once we were alive, we got ready and went to Starbucks then ran back home to get ready for the beach. We had talked possibly about going to Burlington or Manchester but sleeping in left little time for that. I used a permit given to me by Cam to go to Bucklin beach for the first time in I don’t know how many years and it was so lovely. Much smaller than I remembered but that’s what makes it special. We hung out for a couple hours then started making our way home with a little pit stop in Sunapee for ice cream at the quack shack. Before I dropped off Simone, I dropped a brief letter off at Ashley’s. What will be, will be. Once home, I unpacked, showered and actually made myself go to bed at a decent time after dinner. Feeling quite depressed. And just like that, vacation is over.

Existential Crisis cont. plus HB, MURICA

 This is the longest chunk of time I've had off since my summers off from school before I started working (not counting babysitting). It's been marvelous and I so wish I could do this for the rest of my life. I wish I could get paid my nursing pay but spend my days doing things that make me happy. Alas, reality is much different and we must work to earn our keep. I'm going to try to focus on the fact that I'm allowed to do this (funded by me and me alone) and that I have my health, my house, plenty of food and creature comforts, and people that love me. Most people aren't this lucky. Because I've had all this time off, the format of this entry is going to be much like my prior ones when on vacation. I last left off at the end of May so let's get started so I can feel like I accomplished something today before partaking in fun holiday activities. 

Sat. 5.31: Mike, Mason and I drove to the Laconia area to test drive a few trucks at a dealership. We had lunchies at the golden arches and spent some time at Fun Spot which was actually pretty fun and reasonably priced. 20 bucks actually went a long way. We had dinner at common man in ctown and spent the rest of the evening/night in Cornish. 

Sun: I had a lazy morning in Cornish, heading home eventually to do some laundry, grab some groceries. Mike grilled steak tips so we had a yummy dinner and some fun adult time.

Mon: Black Betty had her annual inspection (NH is now doing away with the annual inspection) and passed thanks to Mike and the work he did. I went home and did some laundry and stuffies then Mike picked me up and we went to Cornish to hike the property line of a chunk of land he may be purchasing from his neighbor Ginny adjacent to where he lives now. It was hot and buggy and I stepped in shit.

Tues: I had my one time psych eval with a nice dude at Heater Rd. in order to help my PCP fill out my short term disability paperwork (I gave up trying the following week). I came home to vacuum the house, do some laundry, clean up the kitchen and fill my water bottles. 

Wed: Mike and I picked up Mason early from school to start the journey to CT for one of Mike's closest friends' wedding. We stopped for lunch in Brattleboro then made our way to eastern MA to look at a kids 4 wheeler for sale. Mike ultimately bought it so we put it in the back of a borrowed truck to then start the journey to Mike's dads house stopping for pizza on the way in East Lyme. We made it in time to test out the 4 wheeler and take a short walk to stretch our legs. 

Thurs: Had a leisurely morning and eventually got ready for the wedding after Mason went to Lola's for the day/night. The wedding was at a big clubhouse on the beach and it was delightful for those who did not have to wear a suit. Thankfully there was AC and yummy pizza and mexican food trucks and I ended up dancing after having too much wine. It was fun but I was a touch hungover the following day. 

Fri: We traveled back to the shire and it was pretty uneventful. Once I got back home, I took a little nap and cleaned the girls' potty room. 

Sat: MY BDAY! I got up early so I could go to Rochester with Mike so he could buy his truck. We went to lunch after where there were a few other birthday buddies then we headed back home. Mike replaced my video doorbell, I drank my birthday starbies, then we popped over to Mt. A to see Buzz who had been hospitalized for a TIA-like event. We finished the day with some fun adult time, spaghetti and ice cream cupcakes from Cold Stone.

Sun: I did some laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. Mike and I went to Worthy Burger then for a walk.

Mon: I went grocery shopping, ran some errands then came home to make mac and cheese which I brought to Cornish for dinner. Jan had been bucked off her horse the day prior so she was pretty sore and unable to walk comfortably. 

Tues: I kinda sorta slept in late unintentionally and felt like foggy crap for the rest of the day. I did manage to go to Newport to renew my motorcycle permit then headed to my moms to discuss the Ashley situation. She randomly stopped responding to me and I have no clue what I did to deserve being thrown out like garbage. End result: sit tight and leave the ball in her court and live my life. Mike ended up coming over after the chat for dinner. 

Wed: I relaxed then got ready to head to Cornish (making a pit stop on the way at Amidons) to get Mason off the bus. I got some exercise while he was on his 4 wheeler and we pretty much spent the rest of the day outside.

Thurs: I did some stuffies at home then went back to Cornish for the night.

Fri: Mason's pre K graduation was Friday morning. Afterwards, I went home to do a big grocery haul, computer stuffies then came back for taco night with Jan and Buzz.

Sat: I came home, vacuumed the house, PCS (my memory doesn't remember what this acronym means), headed back to Cornish to watch a movie and have my very first maple creamee from Macs. It did not disappoint. We took a walk and I printed a few things on Jan's computer before calling it a night.

Sun: I went for a 6 mile run/walk in the morning on Center Rd., showering when I got back and relaxing for the afternoon and eating yummy food for a Father's Day/high school graduation party for one of Jan and Buzz's granddaughters. Afterwards, I went home to vacuum the house, do some laundry and once Mike was here, we had fun adult time.

Mon: did some laundry, watched a movie about the Titan submersible implosion with Mike, and packed up my simplisafe system to go to Best Buy's recycling program.

Tues: I had a lazy in bed kind of morning but I got up to go to the hospital to have my heart calcium score CT scan done (turns out I got the best score possible!). I hung out in the lab afterwards to visit my peeps then headed home to clean my appliance and spend the evening with Mike. 

Wed: I ran some errands then headed to Cornish to pick up Mason at 3. His mom wasn't expecting me so we had a mostly positive, impromptu, but brief conversation. We played outside until Mike got home and once the boys were getting ready for bed, I headed home for the night. 

Thurs: I picked up Mason at 10 at Mike's work and had him until Mike got out of work. We went to the playground at the high school for a bit then went to the one next to the skate park but that was short lived due to the oppressive heat. We went back to my house for lunch and to watch a movie until Mike got sick of work and hung out here for a bit before returning to Cornish with Mason. I went out to CVS, Kohls and Barnes and Noble to do a little shopping before calling it a day. 

Fri: I did some laundry, took a walk, Mike and I went to Kotos for dinner then went to a play at the Lebanon Opera House called Dirty Rotten Scoundrels to see Brandi.

Sat: Headed to Cornish for the night; Mike and I went to the Windsor Station for dinner.

Sun: We got up and spent the morning helping Jan in the garden. We weeded, planted potatoes and set up nets and irrigation systems. We went to lunch at Frazers with Jan and Buzz afterwards. Mike and I watched a movie, hiked the property line to do some measurements and concluded the day with some fun adult time.

Mon: I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and made a grocery haul. 

Tues: I cleaned up the kitchen, popped into the town clerk's office to change my political party affiliation to Independent, then met Kelly for dinner at Red Can (in the old Trail Break location). It was a touch fancy and pricey but yummy and it was nice finally catching up with Kelly. 

Wed: I picked Mason up at 3 from his grandmother and hung out with my boys for the rest of the evening. I slept over so Mike could work while I hung out with Mason. We had a lazy morning watching TV, doing Where's Waldo, then we headed outside to play for a bit. We drove up to Leb to hang out with Mike as they were having another hotdog party. After that, we visited some pet stores and went to the Wal-Mart to pick out a toy. We headed back to Cornish to chill with Mike then we all gathered ourselves to spend the night at my house. 

Thurs: Mason got up when I did and we chilled, played, watched TV, ate breakfast; played outside for a little bit until driving to Leb to have lunch with Mike at another one of his wien work parties. Afterwards, we went to a few pets stores to look at animals (I needed something for the ladies) then we headed to Wal-Mart to pick out a toy. We headed back to Cornish to hang out with Mike. We spent the night at my house (Mason took a bubble bath) eating takeout, dessert and watching a movie. 

Fri: We took a walk on the Rail Trail (Mason and I made a wildflower bouquet) then we headed to Cornish to drop off the boys because Mike's truck was getting a new tire. Once I got back home, I got myself together to head to Higher Ground to finally see Steel Pulse and they did not disappoint. They put on a great show and they were very interactive with the crowd. I went to see my Granny a stone's throw from the venue and I left the wildflowers on her headstone.

Sat: I relaxed a bit before heading to Cornish for the night. We went to the Common Man in ctown then took a trip up Cat Hole Rd. for the scenery. Got some good pictures then we ended the day with a fire at the house with Jan. 

Sun: I went for a run on Center Rd. late morning; it was miserable at first but it eventually got better. After I showered and had some food, we went to Mac's for a treat and to walk around. I headed home afterwards to vacuum the house and make a shepherd's pie. We ended the day with some fun adult time. 

Mon: I did some paperwork for my first appointment at Hanover Psych., some laundry and filled my water bottles. In the afternoon, I headed to Cornish in a foul mood (lady problems) and helped with some yard work on the property. Jan made a Mexican style goulash for dinner and it was delicious.

Tues: I had my first therapy appointment (was a little late because I couldn't find parking and almost gave up) and it went well so I'm glad I didn't turn around and angrily drive home. I grabbed some groceries, showered and settled in for a quiet evening with Mike. We watched Walk the Line; he had never seen it and he's a Johnny Cash fan.

Wed: I made blueberry sheet pan pancakes, cleaned my disgusting bathroom and took a walk.

Thurs: I did some laundry, began this entry, and spent the evening with M&M seeing July 4th fireworks at Ascutney for the first time. There was a rain/thunderstorm hiccup but everything resumed after that. The display was great, the hammock chairs were great, and I even ran in to Micaela. We didn't leave until 10ish and Mason was out like a light. 

Fri: We got up and went to the Plainfield July 4th parade and met the Dickersons there. The kids scored some candy and we scored some chocolate milk. Afterwards, we went to the Dickersons to hang out and play for a little bit before Mason went back to his mom. We made a little trip to Newport to buy some fireworks then we headed back to Cornish before heading back out to go hang out at Jen and Luke's house for more delicious food and another fireworks display. Mike and I had a fair amount of Truly's and ended up stopping at Langwood to hang out and watch the stars. 

Sat: I had a slight hangover so I slept in a bit then headed home to take care of the girls and do their monthly cleaning. I also took a walk and did some laundry.

Sun: Mike and I got up early to hike Ascutney. We took the Weathersfield trail and it took us about 4.5 hours from start to finish. We hit up Ginny's pool afterwards then I headed home to take a luxurious bubble bath and to shave my leggies. We had fun adult time then grabbed some groceries for taco night.

Mon: The Dickersons and I went to Grafton Pond to kayak. I had to resort to using their paddleboard because I didn't bring my manual pump and we didn't know until we got there that their automatic pump wasn't compatible with my inflatable kayak. Oh well. It was still fun and we got to hang with DJ and Tim. Mike and I relaxed for the rest of the day although I did make a quick run to the fords.

Tues: I made a Mexican style salad to bring to a potluck at work for Hannah's last day. I made the return to work date decision while there (August 11th). Boo. Potluck was fun and from there I went to my second psych appointment in Hanover which went well. Once I got home, Mike and I headed out for a motorcycle lesson behind the old Penneys. It went pretty well; we practiced weaving, turns and stuff I had already been practicing. I celebrated with a big bowl of spaghetti for dinner.

Wed: I vacuumed the house, did some laundry, and finally took a road trip to Blissville Rd. I misremembered exactly where the little cemetery was so I thought the entrance was too overgrown to even attempt climbing through it. Thankfully, I decided to knock on the door of the house directly to the right of the property and he took down the road to the real entrance and turns out it's maintained and it looks a lot better than the last time I saw it. I walked around, took a video and headed back to my car. I stopped at Aldi in Rutland on the way home to poke around for a few. Once home, I chatted with the boys, filled my water bottles and called it a night.

Thurs: I was lazy and spiraling but put myself together enough to grab some pizzas and head to Cornish for the night. I missed swimming but we ate dins and hung out outside for a bit. I felt better by the time bedtime rolled around.

Fri (yesterday): I got up, made coffee, then Mike and I sat down to start the 5 hour long motorcycle ecourse. We got almost halfway through and decided  to take a break; he went to help a neighbor with something and I went home to hang with the girls. I procrastinated a little bit by doing stuffies then got on my bike without Mike for the first time and practiced around my circles for 30 minutes. I got ready and headed to Leb HS to watch Logan's baseball game then we went to 110 Grill for dinner. It was nice to catch up. Once home, I chatted with Mike then had ice cream again without whipped cream when I wasn't supposed to. Next week is gonna suck. 

I'm officially caught up and will be making entries weekly from now on. 

Existential Crisis

 I finally snapped. I haven't worked a full week in the last month. Allow me to explain. What's happening now is the result of months that turned into years of emotional turmoil that terminated into an argument with a patient around lunchtime on May 9th. The incident occurred while I was finishing up my lunch and heard Hillary walk into the lab with a patient, whom we had already caught wind of, who was just being an absolute asshole. I decided in that moment that I wasn't going to tolerate this poor treatment as a "healthcare hero" so I decided to confront him. The situation escalated rather quickly and I was soon seeing so much red that I gave no fucks about consequences and told the guy to leave. In that moment, I would have unleashed an unmeasurable amount of rage and violence if he had thrown the first punch. Long story short, I stormed out of the building and big changes have happened since. I feel burnt out, sad, angry and unable to tolerate anything. But first, let me pick up where I last left off. 

The day after my last entry was the last day of a long weekend. The only productive thing I have recorded was a little jaunt in Boston Lot with Mike. I had taken that Friday off for our monster jam show in CT/NJ. I put Mason on the bus that morning, I went home to get ready then headed back to Cornish to get Mike then Mason at lunchtime. We had an uneventful drive down to his sisters, stopping for lunch on the way. We hung out, went out for pizza, almost got ice cream, then headed to Mike's dad for the night. We got going Saturday morning on our trip down to the stadium, killing some time at a giant, incredibly peoply mall that happened to be next to the stadium. There was an unfortunate incident as we were leaving the mall but I will not go into detail as it is more or less resolved. We got back to Mike's dads pretty late and called it a night. Sunday morning, we got up and had bagels, took a walk around the neighborhood then made our way back home, stopping for lunch on the way. Sunday evening, we had adult time then called it a night. 

That week, I had Tuesday off. Mike and I went to Lou's for lunch, I had an appointment at the bank to explore better savings options which nothing came of. Actually, the other day the end result of this task was closing my robinhood account and transferring a chunk of my savings to a new capital one high yield savings account. After the bank, I went to the city clerk (again) to try to register my motorcycle again but was unsucessful due to more title issues. I ended the day with a litter box room cleaning and a movie. I ended up calling out the next day due to lady issues and overall lack of fucks. I did some laundry, took a long walk, and was finally able to successfully register my bike. That Friday at work was the incident so I think I'll just finish this entry in the "I'm on vacation" format. Once I was home Friday, I talked to some people but didn't do much otherwise but seethe.

Sat: Stayed home and was lazy.                                                                                                                   

Sun: Did some laundry, had a good motorcycle lesson, did some dishes, water, and had adult time.

Mon: I went to work and made it through most of the day. I had a midafternoon meeting with Dave and Hillary and we collectively decided that I need some time off. They gave me the rest of the week off and I started the process of applying for 3 months of FMLA/short term disability. Mike and I ended the day with another jaunt in Boston Lot.

Tues: slept in, vacuumed the house and had another good bike lesson.

Wed: I took Black Betty in to have the AC looked at but they could not find an issue. They did, however, find some other issues but I think Mike has fixed them so I hope she passes inspection next week. While she was in the shop, I walked around the area. Once home, I did computer stuffies, grabbed some groceries and took a tubby. 

Thurs: taskies and an evening in Cornish.

Fri: I cleaned my bathroom then headed to Cornish for the night.

Sat: Once I was ready, I went to Simone's softball game in Newport (with a little gps hiccup on the way) and took her for the weekend afterwards. We went to Ctown to grab some stuff and lunch then headed to Leb to settle in before heading out for some shopping. We met Mike and Mason at Time Out for dinner and games, driving through a horrendous storm on the way. Once we got back home, we watch the Sixth Sense before calling it a night. 

Sun: We relaxed a bit then got ready to go to Starbucks for breakfast. From there, we headed to Merrimack for some outlet shopping. Simone made out pretty well and I broke down and bought myself a pair of sparkly crocs. When we had our fill, we made our way to ctown and I stopped in at my moms for a quick visit after dropping off S before heading home to Mike.

Mon: I was planning on going to work but I just didn't feel like it so I slept in and was lazy all day.

Tues: I went to work and had a meeting with Dave and Hillary midmorning. They decided to send me home early and gave me the rest of the week off and this week as well (using ET). I spent the rest of the day being lazy and Mike took me out for dinner at the new dumpling place then ice cream at the new Cold Stone Creamery.

Wed: I took a long walk and washed all of my bedding.

Thurs: I got my butt out of bed for an early appointment with my new PCP. We discussed my mental health, my heart disease risk and some lady things. I got a covid shot and some lab work done. My LPA is elevated so she's putting me on my first statin. Yay. I eventually made my way to Cornish and went to Mason's spring concert with M and Jan. No eye contact was made but she did see me. It was cute and I spent the night in Cornish.

Fri: I got up and went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Went home and did some stuffies and turned around and went back to Cornish for the night. 

Sat: Relaxed for a bit then Mike and I went to ctown to run some errands and grab some food for dinner. I threw things in the crockpot then headed home to see the girls. I came back to Cornish for the night and had a yummy dinner with Jan and Buzz. 

Sun: Relaxed for a bit then headed back to Leb to grab some stuff at the store for a Memorial Day party. Mike and I went to Sharon to his friends' place. Nice property, good people and so much good food. Lulu, Jay and Billie came. Went home around dinner time and spent the evening with my girls. 

Mon: I vacuumed the house, took a walk and had a good motorcycle lesson.

Tues: I did some stuffies, ran some errands and took a short walk.

Wed: I did more stuffies, finished 12 Years a Slave, and took a short walk.

Thurs: I went to Mike's work for a wiener grilling party for one of his coworkers. I ran some errands afterwards then met Hannah at the farmer's market in Leb. After I got home, I went for a walk. 

Today: I am currently in Cornish with my boys. I am heading to bed shortly. As far as my current situation goes, only time will tell. I have a mental health appointment next week so hopefully the doctor portion of my paperwork will be filled out and faxed in by the end of Tuesday. I am also working on establishing more long term care at Hanover Psychiatry. This summer will be taken one day at a time and what will be will be. Until next time...

I have sold a few things lately...the poster tube, my old scale, and maybe a picture holder today?

I'm pretty decent at riding my motorcycle. I have gloves coming and I'm working on getting her insured. I'm also tweaking my condo policy and trying to get a better quote for the HOA.

Trump needs to die and Elon Musk retreated from politics like the failure he is. 

I love my girls.