City of Brotherly Love?

 5/27

On Wednesday morning, I got up and started getting ready for my mini vacation to Philly to hang with Suzy. I had taken Wednesday through Friday off for this little trip and it was good timing as the weather was beautiful and my ET had been creeping toward maximum capacity. The trip had been in the works for a few months and I’m. It going to lie, I had pretty bad anxiety about it for many reasons. First, I didn’t want to leave the girls alone for 4 days. Xander was a mobile dude and I could just park him in Windsor and not have to worry other just simply missing him. The girls are different and very shy and would not do well in that situation. Second, COVID has exacerbated my desire to just be home with no place to go and not much to do. It’s my favorite thing to do; quiet weekends alone are my favorite. Travel is exhausting and expensive. With that being said, I’m so glad I went (provided my car is still where I left it and the girls don’t hate me)! I decided to take an Amtrak as opposed to driving and the train ride both to and from have been comfortable and relaxing. I’m currently on the train and almost in VT; all I have to do is jump in my car (hopefully) and drive 5 minutes back to the girls. Before I unpack, priority goes to litter box duty.

The ride to Philly had a small hiccup…at some point, someone got stuck on the tracks and a crane had to come to remove the stuck car, delaying us about an hour so I got into the train station after dark. I ubered to the hotel and met SARG in the lobby. I had a sandwich for dinner and we went to bed not too long after. Thursday morning, we got up and got ready for the day. We went to reading terminal market for breakfast then headed for the historic part of Philly on foot. Suzy wasn’t feeling well but eventually felt better throughout the day, thankfully. The weather was perfect and we managed to hit up a bunch of spots: independence hall, Christ church burial ground, the Betsy Ross house, liberty bell, stopping for snacks along the way. We went back to the hotel and made reservations for dinner. After dinner, we checked out the hotel pool but ultimately decided it was too cold to swim.

Friday, we slept in a bit but made the most of the day. We grabbed a quick breakfast at the hotel Starbucks and headed in the opposite direction to visit the mutter museum. Our gift shop browsing was cut short by a fire alarm so we moved on to the Philadelphia art museum to run up the Rocky steps. From there, we walked to Whole Foods for lunch then eastern state penitentiary to tour the place until they closed. Wicked cool day. We got back to the hotel, ordered dinner in and watched The Breakfast Cub with a glass of wine.

This morning was an early one but considering my sleep issues and all the walking we did, I don’t feel too bad at all. Big shout out to melatonin and mirtazepine. I had 2 train seats to myself down but only the second half coming home. I started with a nice lady from DC then an interesting guy from LA (we talked the whole time he was on the train) then a teenage girl briefly.

Alas, home is near and pizza and ice cream are calling my name and I’m so thankful to no longer be smelling street urine. I’ll finish this entry later this weekend.

5/30

Currently on call and I hope it stays that way...at least until I can finish this. In bed by midnight and sleeping the rest of the night would be even better. Anywho, I got home Saturday night safe and sound (black betty was a ok) and took care of the girls and unpacked as fast as I could. Pizza and ice cream were desperately calling my name and my exhausted ass was passed out by 10 and I didn't get up for the day until 1 PM Sunday. I took my time and enjoyed my coffee and when I finally decided to get up, I vacuumed the house, did some laundry, and finished the book I had started on the train in order to return it to Denise. Yesterday (Monday) was Memorial Day and Denise and I went to see our mom. We were there 5-6 hours more or less and there was a lot discussed. It was Denise's turn to start repairing their relationship so she did most of the talking as she had a lot to catch up on. Overall, it was pretty productive and there was progress in terms of mutual understanding, personality traits, physical and emotional conditions, and possible diagnoses. After Denise left, we talked more and ended up crying. It's really hard to navigate through all these emotions and see through the anger to some sort of resolution. I just need people to understand where I'm coming from. I just wish it was possible for others to see the world like I do. When I got back to town, I picked up some groceries and cleaned up my kitchen. 

I'm a little early with this entry (for once) and I left off at the beginning of the month. The first weekend of the month was pretty busy. Saturday, I had an appointment in Newbury, headed home to take a walk then finished the day in Claremont watching Maddy in her junior prom grand march. Sunday, I headed back to Ctown (picking up Dayna and Ashley along the way) to go to Tracy's house for some party planning. Once I got home, I did some laundry, dishes, and planted the forget me nots I got when I got Xander's ashes back. I also planted the sunflower kit and spruced up my pots but they still look shitty...I should just replant them in the ground. Monday, I was supposed to get my hair done but Cait had to cancel (unfortunately, I had already gotten to Ctown...again). I went back to Leb to run errands, vacuum my house, plan the Philly trip over the phone with Suzy, and do a Barre class before calling it a day.

The following Saturday, I vacuumed the house, finally got the last piece of my couch delivered, made spaghetti sauce, did some laundry and went for a walk. Sunday, I went to a Mother's Day cookout at Kristy's with Sheila as my copilot. When I got home, I did computer stuffies and some laundry. Monday, I got my hair done finally and visited Ashley before heading back home to run errands, meal prep and go for a walk. 

The weekend prior to Philly, I made it a point to have a quiet weekend at home with the girls (I was having bad anxiety about leaving them for 4 days) although I did go to Windsor to hang out for a few hours Saturday night. We chilled with the new rig and had pizza and ice cream sundaes. I also vacuumed the house and did some laundry. Sunday, I finished the laundry, cleaned my bathroom, and did a Barre class. Monday, I ran errands, took a walk, finally finished my passport renewal paperwork, had a 1.5 hour HOA community meeting with Jamie, and cleaned up the kitchen. I cannot wait for unit 23 to turnover. 

Maebel is a year and Quinn's almost 2. They love each other so much. It's also been almost a year since Xander left me.

I thought I was going to have to visit a cath lab in Philly...

I have one week left of my 30s. The passage of time is inevitable.