Just Another Weekend

 I feel like a lot has been going on this past month. I guess I'm right, now that I think about it so this may be a little lengthy. This weekend was the July 4th holiday, but in actuality, it was just another weekend to me. I don't get any extra time off during any summer holiday this year and we had to postpone our annual CT river float due to weather. It's also become a holiday that I really don't care or feel the need to celebrate. This country began on the backs of slavery and the murder and forceful removal of natives. There was, however, a party during the day Saturday at the Tomeks but for a different, more somber reason. They are moving back to Canada so Sofia can attend school. Tomek will continue to operate until November and they will be buying a house in VT so will be back and forth often for Upper Pass stuff so it's not all bad. We brunched and chilled for a couple hours and the rest of Saturday turned out to be unproductive. I vacuumed my house and did a load of laundry. Uncle David called me and we ended up chatting for 40 minutes which was really nice. Yesterday, I slept in a little bit and eventually ventured out to grocery shop. It was cool and rainy so I went for a walk, meal prepped, took a bath, and did a pile of dishes. During my walk, I spoke to Granny and Pete for a little while. Granny was admitted to the hospital Thursday night with a UTI. She hasn't been thriving since her mastectomy on the 11th, although she did really well from a surgical standpoint and went home the following day. She's been very weak, losing weight, and her appetite been poor. As with her previous UTI, her cognition started to decline so Pete was able to nip that in the bud. With IV abx, she is sharper, feeling a little bit better and moving around more. Unfortunately, this cancer has proven to be very aggressive and has likely spread as they were unable to remove all affected lymph nodes. She is scheduled for a scan on Tuesday so we won't know the extent of this until then. Until we know more, it's one day at a time. My plan is to go out at some point for a visit but determining the best time has been a struggle...also complicated by the fact that I really don't want to leave Xander anymore. Sigh. I'm just going to keep on keeping on with the hope that it'll work out the way it's supposed to. I slept in a little bit this morning, made my monthly HOA deposit, and went for a nice long walk. If there's time after I finish this, I'm going to do my yearly basement shop vac. My to do list is long so I really need to get back to crossing things off on top of my normal weekend stuffies. I have next week off so that should help...unless I end up going to CA. I also need to run to the vet to pick up more Clavamox. Stay tuned for more details on what's going on with Xander.

So I last left off the week before my birthday. Should have been a great week except it wasn't. On the first day of June, I went to prehab after work and decided to send snarky pro pride month messages to the family group message (mostly targeting Tim because he's homophobic and Trump supporters because he's obviously homophobic too). It didn't help that I was on call and spent a good chunk of the sleepless night researching all of Trump's policies that harm gay people and sending that info along. No one said anything (I think they think I'll go away if they don't engage). Call nights are tough because I end up giving up on trying to sleep and researching things that fill me with rage...it's a cycle. I went to work and was talking to Ashley and there was a misunderstanding so I ended up having a meltdown and going home to spend the rest of the day crying. I felt so emotionally down in the dumps that I no longer felt like being here anymore. I still don't see the point. I couldn't bring myself to go to work the following day so I called out and went back to bed. My phone was off so I missed the calls and texts from my boss so he had no choice but to send the cops to my house. I woke up to them pounding on my door and I looked and sounded like a gross, awkward dumpster fire because that's what I am. It was mortifying. Anyways. I decided I should probably reach out to my PCP for some help. I made an appointment with a PA and have been on an antidepressant for a couple of weeks now. Not sure if I feel any different but I know I need to give it more time. I'm also going to start therapy once I finally get in touch with this Jane person. I have an appointment with my new PCP in 2 weeks so I'm just going to wait until then. I dragged my ass to work that Friday and it was hard because I still felt like shit and Amit pissed me off so I had to take a walk then switch rooms. I made it through the day and my birthday weekend was upon me. On Saturday, I did stuffies, ran errands and grabbed groceries, and made June's HOA deposit. Sunday, I spent a few hours at my moms and she made me dinner for my birthday. We talked about a lot of things, difficult things, and I'm still processing pieces from that conversation. I won't go in to too much detail because I don't know who still reads this thing. All I can say is that I'm pretty disappointed in my realizations and my mom and I are very different people with very different views. I'm not sure what this means for a relationship moving forward. Afterwards, I went to Ashleys for a little bit. We hung out in the basement and chatted...my gift from them was 10 pints of Ben and Jerry's. Best gift ever. I headed back home to Xander and chatted with Paul and Vicki on the way. I woke up Monday and ate a big birthday breakfast (after a quick run for fresh Muriel's donuts). The rest of the day was low key, I did some reading and took a nice leisurely, music-less walk. It was a nice, albeit a little depressing, birthday.

The following weekend was nice. I had a lunch date with Kelly at the Worthy Kitchen on Saturday. It was nice to hash out some things with her and also see Kendall. It was a perfect day to sit outside and catch up on a lot. She is a great person to talk to and I value her friendship. We spent some time walking around Woodstock and made a little trip to the Woodstock Farmer's market before parting ways. I did some Saturday stuffies before calling it a day. On Sunday, I did some laundry, grocery shopping, reading on the deck, went for a walk and took a bubble bath. While relaxing on the deck, I called Granny and chatted with her for the first time post-op. She was feeling ok, just fatigued and not wanting to eat much. On Monday, I had my appointment with a primary care PA. I got my car inspected, meal-prepped, dishes done, and cleaned Xander's room and my bathroom with time left for a walk. Days like this are few and far between. 

The following weekend was a call weekend. Luckily, it was JJ and the call "gods" knew I needed a break so the 48 hour shift (couldn't get rid of more) was not bad at all. We only ended up doing 2 cases during the day Saturday and Sunday, being able to rest both nights. Emilee came to visit for a bit Saturday afternoon before she headed to her MIL's. She brought me a couple pairs of socks covered in Xander's face for my birthday. We are ok. Ultimately, she is an adult who can make her own decisions and there's nothing I can do about it except give my opinion when asked. We are very different people and it's her life, not mine. When I woke up Sunday, I found Xander with bloody boogers all over his face, whiskers, bib, and front paws. He was acting like he didn't feel well, turned his nose up at his snack and buried himself in my bed instead of hanging out in my lap for coffee time. It was very alarming but really wasn't sure what I could do because I was on call. After confirming our lack of cases, I called SAVES and they had me bring him in. I got called in to work while I was dropping him off so I headed up the hill to do 2 cases. They cleaned his nose, started antibiotics (he had been on prednisone for 2 weeks with no effect), and did blood work. His white count was elevated and his kidney numbers were not bad. She threw around the possibility of cancer but now it seems unlikely in light of his response to the clavamox since then. I picked him up on the way home and loved on him for the rest of the day. I love him so much and every remaining day with him is the best day ever. Monday, I got Black Betty detailed, went grocery shopping and called it a day.

Last weekend was relatively prodeuctive. I tried my first Barre class in a month at the Hanover studio. I went directly to Newbury for electrolysis after and made my way home via Newport after seeing Grammy, grabbing a grinder and an iced coffee. I did some Saturday stuffies and grocery shopped for the week. Sunday, I did laundry, enjoyed some deck time (finally finishing the Lost World), wrestled my AC into my window, meal prepped and chatted with Granny. She sounded like she was giving up but in retrospect, she was probably just starting to feel the effects of the UTI. On Monday, Xander spent the day at the vet. He was sedated for head xrays and a nasal biopsy. I dropped him off at 0830 and was told a few hours so I went home to busy myself to pass the time. I had coffee time, did a pile of dishes, ran some errands and started getting a little worried. I finally called around 4 and he was almost ready to be picked up so I went and snagged him. He was a little wobbly and high still so I cleaned my second bathroom and called it a day. 

I just got off the phone with Pete, he's stressed about Granny's disposition after her current hospital stay. I am hopeful everything will work out ok. She's now on oxygen and having bouts of confusion. I hoping it's just temporary hospital associated delirium. We will know more tomorrow. 

Juneteenth is now a US holiday.

I graduated from high school 20 years ago.

Xander's poops are now back to normal, for the most part. Also, getting him a party hat and bow tie for his sweet sixteen.