Paranoia

11.27

Sunday evening on a call weekend and I've been bumming around the house. I figured it's a good time to start a new draft as I count down the minutes to the Walking Dead. Cathy took my Friday night call so it didn't start for me until 7 am yesterday. We got called in for a STEMI at 8, which turned out to be a false alarm. We hung around a bit then ended up doing a real STEMI followed by an NSTEMI. Went home at 4 and grabbed 5 Guys on the way...so hungry. Went in for a simple case today and I've just been doing stuffies. The only weekends I want to fly by.

The first weekend in November, I finally managed to take a road trip with the Ludlow ladies into western VT to see sites tied to their lives. It was tentatively supposed to be the previous weekend but Granny told me Sherry told her she would like to join us so I contacted Sherry to confirm her interest. We pushed it back one weekend to accommodate everybody (a good thing because Granny originally was not going to come but she was feeling up to it by that weekend). We left Ludlow and headed towards Rutland, stopping on the way at a cemetery to see their parents' and other family members' gravesites. Next stop was the family home in Castleton where they were born. We travelled the route where they walked to school. We went into Poultney where we stopped at my Dad's high school. We spent most of our time at the next stop; Blissville, specifically Blissville Rd. The house where my Dad and his older sister was born is no longer there but there is a very similar house built on that site which I got pictures of. We located the Van Lew house and talked to the lady that lives there (she was very nice) and she told us that a neighbor down the road was, at that moment, working in a small cemetery that was so overgrown, you couldn't see it from the road. Turns out, it's the grave yard where Mary Anna is most likely buried and it's still there. The ladies seemed to think it was no longer there; that a house was on that site. They must have been thinking of the newer house between the Van Lew house and the cemetery. The terrain was a little rough but we were able to get up there and look around at the stones. I took some pictures and a video. So cool to have found it. I plan on going back there next year when the weather is warmer to check out the progress. When we were done, we headed across the state line into Whitehall, NY briefly to see the site where my Granny took my Dad back as a toddler while he was playing in the yard, filthy. We also drove past another house where their parents lived and near where Granny lived across the tracks when she was pregnant and where my grandfather took my Dad back out of his stroller on the sidewalk. That day was a long time coming, very special. On the way back, we stopped to eat at Applebee's and Ben and Jerry's in Rutland. Chatted with the ladies for a bit when we got back to Ludlow then I headed back home, making pit stops in Ctown to see my mom and hang out with Ashley.

Sunday, I went back to Ctown to spend time with Simone. She had facetimed me before I left my house Saturday wondering when I would be seeing her again. I told her I could come the next day and apparently she had a little breakdown after we got off the phone. We played for 6 hours or so, doing our usual, which included playing outside, running away from monsters, barbies, sidewalk chalk, visiting both playgrounds, and finishing off Halloween candy in the process. Despite the candy, still had plenty of room for lots of beef stew. Good thing it Daylight Savings and I got an extra hour for this busy weekend.

12.4

November 8th was a very bad day. Donald Trump was elected President. Donald Trump. Think about that for a moment. There are a lot of good things about this country but it sure isn't as great as it's made out to be. He lost the general election but a small margin but he got the majority of the electoral college. That's all I'll say about that.

On the 12th, I went to Higher Ground to see Stick Figure with Dayna and Josh. We ate some delicious chinese food next door. It was a good time. They always put on a good show. Dayna and I have seen them twice before. Josh is a nice guy but I'm afraid there is no spark. I was hopeful in the beginning, but, alas, nothing. Shocker. Huge shocker.

On the 15th, I had an appt. in Ctown to get my winter tires put on so I got to play with Simone for a few hours. We did some errands and played barbies.

On the 19th, Emilee threw a surprise 60th birthday party for her mom. It was in a back function room at Time Out. I always feel socially awkward at these functions because everybody has someone except for me. I was going to hang out with Ashley afterwards but Emilee ended up dropping some bombshells on me and she wanted to go out drinking after. We dropped her mom's friend off then headed to Imperial to scope out the scene. Epic people watching. I became the DD so Emilee and Cassie could let loose and have some fun. That night is probably the only time I've seen Emilee really drunk. Huge life changes for her. She texted me the other day to let me know the chemo isn't touching Joi's cancer and they may need to prepare. I know it's inevitable, I just hope she is strong enough to make it to Christmas. We lasted until last call then I dropped the girls off at Cassie's (Jesse had flipped out that she wanted to go out with us so he screeched home, threw her beer out on the front lawn and locked her out) before heading home. Jesse is such a great catch. Not.

Thanksgiving this year was fun. Merm hosted and no one was expected to be there until 2 so I got to sleep in. It's so nice to not be at work when you usually are. I want to retire. Just like Johio. His last day was Friday. So bittersweet...more sweet for him. I don't like losing good people. Anyways, back to Thanksgiving. So cousin Erin from Halifax joined us as part of a week long visit at Denise's. Up until then, all I really had to go by were photos and facebook because I don't have any memories of her growing up. They grew up really close, however. It was fun having her there. I drank my last sip of sunshine, ate lots of food, and played with Simone, of course. We ran away from monsters outside, colored with markers, and played with resident toys. Oh, and my cranberry sauce came out really good. It ended up being a late night so it was awesome to have call start Saturday morning and not Friday night.

We had a dinner at Three Tomatoes this past Monday for Joe's retirement under the guise of a Medtronic inservice. Medtronic covered the bill. Good food and drink. We facetimed Rob and passed him around the table. A few of us went over to Salt Hill after for another drink. I was the first one to leave there for home. It was too late. I don't like to go out after work but I do make exceptions occasionally. I am truly happy only when I'm home alone with Xander. Late night makes for a late rise; I didn't get out of bed Tuesday until 1. Oops.

Last night, Dayna and I met Colin and Katie in Waterbury for dinner and drinks. They are expecting a girl in March. We went to Prohibition Pig then a bar down the street after dinner. Katie obviously wasn't drinking and I only had two beers then stuck with water because I drove. We also made a pit stop in the Craft Beer Cellar across from PP. Picked something up for Volcano Joe. We had a good time like we always do. I wish they lived closer cuz they're good people. We were out later then I wanted to be so I went to bed late. The older I get, the more I just want to be home.

I realize that I need to say no more often. Speaking of, I exercised that right today. Long story short (because I refuse to spend further time on the topic), I gave my work email address to a patient 2.5 weeks ago because he said he would give me some books about Lebanon history. He has since emailed me several times (today's email he informed me for the third or fourth time he has a surprise for me and then followed with "have you been a good little girl?"). DA FUCK? Hell no. Done. I have no room in my life for more friends, especially older married men. I don't give two fucks if you are friends with Aerosmith. We had planned (against my better judgement) to do a little history tour of Lebanon Tuesday morning. I never really wanted to do it but I can't say no to begin with. I really hate myself sometimes. No backbone. That ends now. We are done talking and you will not come to my house and pick up in a "chariot". Absolutely not. For fuck's sake. Now, I really feel like I need a home security system installed and a gun. You come into my house uninvited, I will kill you.

Bedtime.