To go out or to stay in...

Why is it so much effort and energy for me to want to go out and be social. Why can't I just be a normal human being. I pretty much always feel unattractive; I can never get my hair and makeup to look like I want it to so it's just easier to stay home in pajamas with no makeup and my hair looking like thin shit. This is the first weekend in a long time when I've not had any plans so it would be ruined if I went out. My hope of meeting someone who would change everything went out the window a long time ago...all the more reason to stay home and enjoy my solitude with my cat.

Ashley's birthday was 9.10 and she had a party at her house. I made her a cake. I, unfortunately, couldn't enjoy much of the party because I was tired from working all day and had to get up early the next morning to go to Cape Cod for Amy's bachelorette party. Nonetheless, I enjoyed some of the margarita bucket, a beirut game, and of course a piece of cake. Cape Cod was fun but for reasons I'm not going to get in to, I just don't feel really appreciated.

Jeff, Eli and I went to an Alice in Chains and Deftones concert on the 20th which was friggin awesome. It was a long day because of travel but it was nice to visit the farm and Uncle David took us out for dinner :) I think next time I'll just go alone so I don't have to worry about eating others' tickets. See a trend here?

Amy and Brian got married on October 1st in West Dover, VT at a beautiful resort (despite the torrential down pour) and it really was a lot of fun. As I drove to Claremont on the 2nd to have dinner with my family for my mom's 60th, I couldn't help but be giddy and happy about the fact that my wedding obligations for this year were over. After all the weddings I've been involved in I've become a little jaded about the whole process and basically the institution of marriage. I hope I don't have to do it again...even for myself.

I went to Maine the weekend of the 9th to see the Tainters and their newest addition, Addison Rose, who was born 9.10.10. All are doing fine and she is a super cute baby, a mini Mike, and pretty much sleeping through the night almost. It was a nice relaxing weekend and I can't wait to see her again!

Last weekend was the annual Minckler bonfire on Saturday and they had snow on the ground...booooooo. It was nice to hang out at their house for the first time since May and Emilee and I were able to catch up with certain things. We finally made and took our surfers on acid shots...yum. Derek was there, hadn't seen him in a while and he seems to be doing well. The following day I drove to Keene to see Becca. We went out for dinner and to the bar after. I went home too late and irritated that she really isn't doing a lot to help herself and got drunk on my dime. It's time to grow up.

I'm going to sign off because this blog is pretty much all negative and I need to stop rehashing all the recent things that have irritated me. On a positive note, my rug is getting cleaned next week and Cort helped me set up my new TV after I gave them my old one. It's nice when things work out well. Night.