Existential Crisis

 I finally snapped. I haven't worked a full week in the last month. Allow me to explain. What's happening now is the result of months that turned into years of emotional turmoil that terminated into an argument with a patient around lunchtime on May 9th. The incident occurred while I was finishing up my lunch and heard Hillary walk into the lab with a patient, whom we had already caught wind of, who was just being an absolute asshole. I decided in that moment that I wasn't going to tolerate this poor treatment as a "healthcare hero" so I decided to confront him. The situation escalated rather quickly and I was soon seeing so much red that I gave no fucks about consequences and told the guy to leave. In that moment, I would have unleashed an unmeasurable amount of rage and violence if he had thrown the first punch. Long story short, I stormed out of the building and big changes have happened since. I feel burnt out, sad, angry and unable to tolerate anything. But first, let me pick up where I last left off. 

The day after my last entry was the last day of a long weekend. The only productive thing I have recorded was a little jaunt in Boston Lot with Mike. I had taken that Friday off for our monster jam show in CT/NJ. I put Mason on the bus that morning, I went home to get ready then headed back to Cornish to get Mike then Mason at lunchtime. We had an uneventful drive down to his sisters, stopping for lunch on the way. We hung out, went out for pizza, almost got ice cream, then headed to Mike's dad for the night. We got going Saturday morning on our trip down to the stadium, killing some time at a giant, incredibly peoply mall that happened to be next to the stadium. There was an unfortunate incident as we were leaving the mall but I will not go into detail as it is more or less resolved. We got back to Mike's dads pretty late and called it a night. Sunday morning, we got up and had bagels, took a walk around the neighborhood then made our way back home, stopping for lunch on the way. Sunday evening, we had adult time then called it a night. 

That week, I had Tuesday off. Mike and I went to Lou's for lunch, I had an appointment at the bank to explore better savings options which nothing came of. Actually, the other day the end result of this task was closing my robinhood account and transferring a chunk of my savings to a new capital one high yield savings account. After the bank, I went to the city clerk (again) to try to register my motorcycle again but was unsucessful due to more title issues. I ended the day with a litter box room cleaning and a movie. I ended up calling out the next day due to lady issues and overall lack of fucks. I did some laundry, took a long walk, and was finally able to successfully register my bike. That Friday at work was the incident so I think I'll just finish this entry in the "I'm on vacation" format. Once I was home Friday, I talked to some people but didn't do much otherwise but seethe.

Sat: Stayed home and was lazy.                                                                                                                   

Sun: Did some laundry, had a good motorcycle lesson, did some dishes, water, and had adult time.

Mon: I went to work and made it through most of the day. I had a midafternoon meeting with Dave and Hillary and we collectively decided that I need some time off. They gave me the rest of the week off and I started the process of applying for 3 months of FMLA/short term disability. Mike and I ended the day with another jaunt in Boston Lot.

Tues: slept in, vacuumed the house and had another good bike lesson.

Wed: I took Black Betty in to have the AC looked at but they could not find an issue. They did, however, find some other issues but I think Mike has fixed them so I hope she passes inspection next week. While she was in the shop, I walked around the area. Once home, I did computer stuffies, grabbed some groceries and took a tubby. 

Thurs: taskies and an evening in Cornish.

Fri: I cleaned my bathroom then headed to Cornish for the night.

Sat: Once I was ready, I went to Simone's softball game in Newport (with a little gps hiccup on the way) and took her for the weekend afterwards. We went to Ctown to grab some stuff and lunch then headed to Leb to settle in before heading out for some shopping. We met Mike and Mason at Time Out for dinner and games, driving through a horrendous storm on the way. Once we got back home, we watch the Sixth Sense before calling it a night. 

Sun: We relaxed a bit then got ready to go to Starbucks for breakfast. From there, we headed to Merrimack for some outlet shopping. Simone made out pretty well and I broke down and bought myself a pair of sparkly crocs. When we had our fill, we made our way to ctown and I stopped in at my moms for a quick visit after dropping off S before heading home to Mike.

Mon: I was planning on going to work but I just didn't feel like it so I slept in and was lazy all day.

Tues: I went to work and had a meeting with Dave and Hillary midmorning. They decided to send me home early and gave me the rest of the week off and this week as well (using ET). I spent the rest of the day being lazy and Mike took me out for dinner at the new dumpling place then ice cream at the new Cold Stone Creamery.

Wed: I took a long walk and washed all of my bedding.

Thurs: I got my butt out of bed for an early appointment with my new PCP. We discussed my mental health, my heart disease risk and some lady things. I got a covid shot and some lab work done. My LPA is elevated so she's putting me on my first statin. Yay. I eventually made my way to Cornish and went to Mason's spring concert with M and Jan. No eye contact was made but she did see me. It was cute and I spent the night in Cornish.

Fri: I got up and went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Went home and did some stuffies and turned around and went back to Cornish for the night. 

Sat: Relaxed for a bit then Mike and I went to ctown to run some errands and grab some food for dinner. I threw things in the crockpot then headed home to see the girls. I came back to Cornish for the night and had a yummy dinner with Jan and Buzz. 

Sun: Relaxed for a bit then headed back to Leb to grab some stuff at the store for a Memorial Day party. Mike and I went to Sharon to his friends' place. Nice property, good people and so much good food. Lulu, Jay and Billie came. Went home around dinner time and spent the evening with my girls. 

Mon: I vacuumed the house, took a walk and had a good motorcycle lesson.

Tues: I did some stuffies, ran some errands and took a short walk.

Wed: I did more stuffies, finished 12 Years a Slave, and took a short walk.

Thurs: I went to Mike's work for a wiener grilling party for one of his coworkers. I ran some errands afterwards then met Hannah at the farmer's market in Leb. After I got home, I went for a walk. 

Today: I am currently in Cornish with my boys. I am heading to bed shortly. As far as my current situation goes, only time will tell. I have a mental health appointment next week so hopefully the doctor portion of my paperwork will be filled out and faxed in by the end of Tuesday. I am also working on establishing more long term care at Hanover Psychiatry. This summer will be taken one day at a time and what will be will be. Until next time...

I have sold a few things lately...the poster tube, my old scale, and maybe a picture holder today?

I'm pretty decent at riding my motorcycle. I have gloves coming and I'm working on getting her insured. I'm also tweaking my condo policy and trying to get a better quote for the HOA.

Trump needs to die and Elon Musk retreated from politics like the failure he is. 

I love my girls.

Happy Birthday, Pops

 If my dad was still here, he would be turning 82 today. Old man. It's crazy to think I could have a parent in their 80s but it's really not when I consider the fact he was 40 when I was born. Anywho, I am having a lovely relaxing Sunday with the ladies and Mike has been here since noonish back from his disappointing casino adventure but napping currently. Perfect time to be updating my blog. I'm in the midst of my long weekend and I've been procrastinating a little bit but here goes. Hopefully, this won't take too long and I can get a workout in before calling it a day. Friday, I got up with an alarm for a 1000 appointment at the back to explore different options for my cash. Turns out the banker already had someone scheduled for that time and I couldn't get through to tell them I couldn't show up at 1300 because Mike had scheduled our permit tests for 1250 at the DMV in Newport. We left around noon, took our tests (I passed, Mike failed lol) then headed to Coronis' for grinders and a little cemetery visit to see my Grammy. On our way back home, we made a pit stop in Croydon to check on a few things. I finished up a few things then headed to Cornish for the night. I got my first motorcycle lesson (dumped the bike within 5 minutes but overall did ok) then we went to dinner at the Windsor Station. Yesterday, I came back to town, ran a few errands then headed home for the day. I did some laundry, vacuumed the house and took a walk. I concluded the day with kitty snuggles and ice cream. 

Last weekend was fairly busy. M&M and I headed to Killington Saturday to visit with the sisters and possibly help out at the restaurant in case it was busy as they were shutting down for a month. Turned out to be ok so we went for a walk, collected golf balls then headed to Lulu's place to hang out before going out for dins. Afterwards, we headed home to put the boy to bed so we could play easter bunny. Mason woke up Sunday morning apparently not remembering it was Easter so we had to remind him he had a basket then discreetly hide some eggs outside. He found those eggs then we hung out until it was time to go to the Dickersons for a rediculously delicious brunch spread and another, more extensive egg hunt. We hung out and played for a while before heading back to Cornish. I headed back home, grabbing a few groceries and did some stuffies until Mike arrived.  

I last left off on the bus ride to Manhattan during my last long weekend. Taking the coach to and from NYC was stellar; will definitely do again. I beat Suzy by a few hours so I dropped my stuff off at our hotel and headed out for a long stroll in Central Park. So alive on a nice Saturday. I got back to the hotel, had a drink at the bar, we checked in to our room and waited for our reservation at the VERY pricey steak restaurant in the hotel. Thankfully, it was freakin delicious and I ate too much. Sunday, we got ready and walked to breakfast (cold day) then headed to Rockefeller center to see the rink, poke around FAO Schwartz, Kate Spade, and the American Girl store. We saw Wicked in the theater district (it was soooooo good) followed by yet another delicious dinner at a French restaurant called Marseille. Suzy left a few hours before me for the airport Monday morning so I relaxed at the hotel before making my way (in the rain) back to the bus stop; making a quick pit stop for food outside Times Square. The bus ride home was uneventful and I was so excited to come home to Mike and the girls. 

The following weekend was relatively quiet. I was in Cornish Saturday (Lui Lui take out with Jan and Buzz) and a chunk of Sunday before heading home to grocery shop, vacuum the house, make guac for a work potluck, have dinner and play before bed. I had Tuesday off that week; I slept in, cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, took a walk with Mike, made tacos, relaxed then filled my water bottles. 

The following weekend, we took a little drive to Southern NH to motorcycle shop but ended up not buying anything. It was nice to sit on a few bikes and get a feel for them. I ultimately decided buying new wasn't as good an option so I tried negotiating with Sue later that week (unsuccessfully). We had lunch at the golden arches, poked around Bass Pro Shops, then headed home to relax and go to dinner at the Windsor Station for our one year meetaversary. Mason, on accident, had his first sip of alcohol. I'll spare you the story but it's actually pretty funny. Sunday, I headed home, stopping to grocery shop on the way. M&M and I went to see the Minecraft movie in the afternoon. I cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, cleaned the girls' potty room and took a short walk. I had Tuesday and Wednesday off that week because Mike and I headed to Boston to see the Deftones at the Garden. It was awesome. The next morning, we went to breakfast and Mike's Pastries before heading back north. I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and ended the day with a nice bubbly bath.

The following Saturday morning, I drove down to CT to hang out with Lola for the weekend. I met her at a vintage market to poke around but unfortunately it was short-lived because it was very cold and windy. We drove back to her place to hang out and chat leaving only to go to the store and run another quick errand. She made a yummy dinner and we relaxed for the rest of the evening. More relaxation in the morning before going out for a yummy breakfast. We went to a cowboy store then the Yale campus to view priceless works of art. I headed north to Cornish shortly after getting back with Greyson because he was spending his vacation with Mike. I dropped him off, sat on my new to me Honda Rebel which Mike had found and purchased the previous day in Rutland for a good price, and visited for a bit. I had Thursday off that week and I spent it doing laundry, dishes, computer and other random stuffies, running some errands and going for a walk. 

My Aunt Betty passed peacefully last week. She was in her 90's.

Buzz is back in the hospital (better DHMC experience this time) being treated for a severe UTI, probable early sepsis and possible pneumonia. 

I got rid of my 23andme account because they were going under and not ensuring to not sell my data.

Trump is the epitome of moral decay. 

Officially Spring

 *THIS WAS WRITTEN 3/22/2025*

I’m currently sitting on the Dartmouth coach on my way to NYC to spend the rest of the weekend celebrating Suzy’s birthday and also the major adulting milestone I reached this past Tuesday…I paid off my house. Yeah, I know. Huge. It still hasn’t hit me. Suzy reached out last month and asked if I wanted to meet her to celebrate with a big city trip and my very first broadway show! We are seeing Wicked tomorrow afternoon and the rest of the weekend will be a bit more spontaneous other than a few meal reservations. Luckily, this landed on my 4 day weekend so I had yesterday off to accomplish a few things. If I wasn’t traveling this weekend, I probably would have worked yesterday because I got sick yet again and missed Monday/Tuesday. I started a Zpack Monday which allowed me to return to work Wednesday. I’m still coughing up so much sputum that it seems likely I had mycoplasma pneumonia. Gross. Mike, too. Anywho, yesterday, I vacuumed the house, did a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, ran a few errands and finished cleaning my disgusting bathroom. I took the tracka to the bus station and M&M took black Betty to Connecticut.

I last left off the weekend prior to the last in February. Friday night, I got out a little early thankfully so I could scoot home, get ready then head to ctown for Grace’s 16 birthday celebration. It was a house party with lots of finger foods, close family and friends, presents and concluded with a dance party. Mike and I were technically broken up but were still talking. The following day, I cleaned up the kitchen, took a walk then headed to Windsor to hang out with the Dickersons. We chilled, had a bonfire out in the snow, and concluded the night with Lydi falling asleep in my lap. Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did the water and took some time writing an email to Mike laying out most of my views, unapologetically. He was quite taken aback and tentatively labeled me a left wing extremist (no offense taken) but ultimately decided to come over that night to spend the night. We ultimately decided to get back together despite our differences; proving once again that we can’t do the friends with benefits arrangement. The future is always uncertain but we are going to focus on loving and respecting each other with insightful conversations about our differing views interspersed throughout. That week, I had Tuesday off. I made my chickpea salad, brought it to work for Hannah’s birthday potluck, hung out for a bit then headed for my I house audiology/ ENT appointment. Finally. Basically, my hearing is fine and there is something in my right ear that doesn’t fully close and there’s not much I can do aside from drinking cold fluids and getting a prescription for a nasal estrogen spray. Once I got home, I did some laundry and took a walk.

The first weekend in March started my March staycation. Saturday, I did the dishes, some laundry, read (nursing against all odds), and had a dinner date with Mike and one of his coworkers at Kotos. Sunday, I had a relaxing day with Mike. I did some laundry and he replaced my 2 thermostats. Monday, I had an EAP telehealth appointment and headed to Burlington to see tribal seeds at higher ground. I was solo because Dayna was up all night yakking but I made friends and had a blast. Tuesday, I did some stuffies, ran some errands, made meatloaf and spent the evening with Mike. Wednesday, I had my annual financial fitness meeting, took a long walk and caught up with Sherry. Thursday, I made scones, did dishes, cleaned the girls’ potty room, read, and did a face mask. Friday, Mike and I went to Lou’s for lunch and I headed to ctown that afternoon to have pizza and catch up with Emilee. Saturday, M&M and I went to Chester to have a play date with S, J, and L. It was fun and I drank almost an entire bottle of wine. We had a sleepover, relaxed in the morning then headed to friends’ of Mike’s in Cornish for another playdate. I drove a snowmobile for the first time! I headed home to grab some groceries then we relaxed for the rest of the evening. Vacation over.

I had Thursday off the week I went back to work. I felt like I was fighting something Wednesday so of course I woke up sick on my day off. I still managed to vacuum the house, clean up the kitchen, run an errand and take a walk. Friday, I intended on going to work but I called out, relaxed, watched Airplane! and spent the evening with Mike. Saturday, I did some laundry, computer stuffies, filled my water, and watched Young Frankenstein. Sunday, I grocery shopped, took a short walk with Mike then we made tacos for dins. Monday, I lasted an hour and a half at work then went to urgent care to get evaluated. Mike came home sick too and we just chilled for the rest of the day. Mike and I took another sick day Tuesday and we mostly relaxed but I ran a few errands in the afternoon then we went for a walk (exploring the round house site).

Zpacks are a modern day miracle.

Simone is a teenager.

I signed up for my first 5K in years and had to skip it because I was sick. Again

I love my girls and I miss them already.

Donald Trump is a piece of shit.

Snowy February and a V Day Breakup

 This past weekend was my long weekend and it started with a sad bang. Mike accidentally shared a post about DOGE with me from a FB group called America First (barf) with DT as its profile picture. It was very triggering and it set off a cascade in my brain that ultimately led to me breaking up with him the following day (Valentine's Day). I finally realized. It wasn't just our ideological divide; it was a combination of other things that have been floating around my head for months that led me to decide staying together wasn't fair for either of us. I'm not sure what the future holds but I'm going to focus on one day at a time. He stopped in after work and we chatted for a bit. He left with some of his stuff after a long hug and I spent most of the remaining day crying. I did, however, manage to do a load of laundry, the dishes, and a quick run to the store for ice cream. Saturday, I did some laundry, took out a bunch of recycling out, ran to the store for spaghetti sauce ingredients, did a living room workout, and took a bubble bath and cried. Sunday, I slept in, washed all my bedding, made my sauce and vacuumed the house. Monday, I did a bunch of tasky things, grocery shopped, cleaned my small kitchen appliance, did computer stuffies and called it a night. I stayed up super late going through months and months of FB messages with Mike.

I left off last time on my last long weekend. I was at Mike's Friday night and Saturday morning, we went our separate ways. He and Mason headed to Killington and I headed to Ctown to pick up Simone for the weekend. We got lunch at the brandy new Wendys then headed back to Leb to settle in and head back out for some shopping. We grabbed Gusanoz for dinner, drove to the hospital to grab something out of my locker and give Simone a quick tour then spent the rest of the evening watching movies. Sunday, we went to Starbucks for breakfast, did more shopping, watched more movies, did some laundry then dropped her off at Dave's. Spent the rest of the evening with Mike. Monday, morning Mike time. I did the dishes, went for a walk, grocery shopped, and picked up my new sleeping pill prescription.

The following weekend, I spent the night with Mike in Cornish. I hung out for a bit and helped Mike shovel horse poop, getting some spontaneous tractor lessons. I headed home to get ready to meet Goewey in Litchfield for dinner then we headed to Derry to see the Dave Matthews Tribute Band and they put on a damn good show. Sunday, I did laundry, the dishes, then Mike and I headed to my mom's for dinner. It was a nice evening. I had Tuesday off that week. I got a cut and highlight, went grocery shopping and had taco Tuesday with Mike, Jan and Buzz. It was my first work night sleepover in Cornish and it was frigid but cozy inside. 

The following weekend, I woke up Saturday morning with a low grade fever. I relaxed all day but managed to do some laundry. Sunday, was definitely sick so I relaxed and again managed to do some laundry. Monday, same story but woke up with a higher fever so I stayed home from work. I did do the dishes. Tuesday, still sick but better. I helped Mike with an errand then spent the night. I hung around Cornish Wednesday and was available to get Mason off the bus if Mike wasn't back from his court date. Thursday, I tried to go to work but only lasted a couple of hours before I left to head to urgent care. I waited for a while but ultimately tested negative for flu and vid. I ran a few errands then headed home to rest.

The following weekend, Mike and I had a Friday date night. I honestly don't remember where we went but it was probably Poor Thoms. Saturday, I grocery shopped, cleaned my bathroom, and headed back to Cornish for the night. Sunday morning, we were lazy for a few hours. Once I headed home, I did the dishes, vacuumed the house, did the laundry and caught up with my Uncle David then Uncle Pete on the phone. I had Thursday off that week; I cleaned the girls' potty room, started reading Nursing Against the Odds, and did a living room workout. 

The following weekend, I stayed in Cornish Friday night. Once back in Leb, I ran errands and grocery shopped, did some laundry, then headed back to Cornish to eat leftover Cantore's pizza and hang out with the CT crew. Sunday morning was snowy and lazy so I relaxed and took my time making a good batch of guac. I vacuumed the house, did dishes, went ice skating for the second time in my life, then ended the evening watching the Super Bowl with Mike. 

Donald Trump and Elon Musk are pure evil. 

I'm back on the Facebooks.

Grace Goss turned 16. 

I am descended from French nobility.

I love the girls. 

A New Year

 A new year is upon us and I'm very surprised to say that I have yet to write 2024 on accident. It also feels like 2024 went by incredibly quickly and I fear the rest of my life will continue the exponential trajectory of time leaving me to wonder at the end of my life what the fuck just happened. I hope it's in a good way. But nothing is guaranteed. It's currently Friday night on my 4 day weekend and I'm at Mike's for the night. I tried to sleep in this morning but it didn't work as well as it normally does. I lingered in bed with the girls before finally dragging my arse out into the cold air of my house. I could have gone in to work for a potluck but I opted to stay home because why the hell would I want to do that? I had my second telehealth appointment this afternoon with the EAP. I think he's a good fit for me and I'm finding it very helpful so I'm going to continue seeing him although I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my benefit runs out for the year. I was supposed to meet Erica for coffee today but she had to reschedule so I continued being lazy until it was time to get ready to head to Cornish. I actually did do a load of laundry and an errand so today was a tiny bit productive. Buzz has been on hospice for a week now and he just seems so frail and it's crazy to think about the decline I've witnessed over the past 9 months. He passed out and fell at home and was hospitalized for over a week, getting discharged to home Christmas Eve. More about that later. Mike is greatly affected by all this. 

Last weekend was pretty quiet. Saturday, I filled my new water dispenser, did laundry, the dishes, a quick living room workout, then got ready to head to Cornish for the night. Mike and I went to Frasier's for dinner then watched a movie. Sunday, I vacuumed, cleaned the girls' room, grabbed some groceries then took a luxurious bubble bath. Mike stayed home and will be staying home more to help Jan & Buzz. This situation is just so terrible and sad. 

I last left off on Pearl Harbor day, sitting in the same spot I am now. I headed back to Leb to run some errands before going home for the night. I did some laundry, cleaned the girls' room, and Mike came up for the night and we added another first to our list. Sunday, I did more laundry and cleaned my bathroom. Monday, I vacuumed, did more laundry, ran some errands, and meal prepped.

The following weekend was relatively quiet. Friday during the day was when Buzz passed out and fell so I headed down to the ED after I punched out to see them for a bit. Mike was in CT so he felt better after I saw them. Saturday, I vacuumed, did some laundry and ran some errands. Sunday, I did the dishes, went shopping and grabbed some groceries. Tuesday was my day off that week; I slept in, wrapped some gifts and went for a walk. 

The following weekend was pretty low key as well. Saturday, I did laundry, the dishes, then headed to Mikes for the night. We went to Ctown to run errands and we had dinner at the Mexican restaurant on Washington St. It was delish. Sunday, I grabbed groceries once back in town then headed home to get ready to go to Ctown to see the Goss' for Xmas. It had been a very long time and it wasn't awkward but I can't use that as an excuse to not eventually talk to Adam. I need to start with at least a text apology. It ended up being like old times except we had Common Man take out for dinner instead of Tremont as they were closed. We ate dinner in bed and hung out in the basement the rest of the night. When I got home, Mike was snoring. My day off that week happened to be Christmas so I chose to have Friday off also. I got out of work a little early Xmas eve so I got to Mikes around 7. We watched Xmas vacation, I prepared my overnight french toast, and we put the tree together once Mason fell asleep. We were up and opening presents by 0700 and ended up relaxing the rest of the day. We had breakfast, watched movies, played with new toys, attempted to nap, and ate pizza for dinner. Before heading home for the night, Mason and I ended the day by making a clay Mr. Hankey lol

Friday, I got up to start getting ready for my rescheduled ENT appointment and before I left the house, they canceled on me again. I gave up the other day and scheduled for a third time. Third time's a charm? I spent the rest of the day doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and stuffies. Saturday, I went to Cornish but arrived too late to sled so I felt like a loser for the rest of the day (little did I know I was getting sick). We just hung out and watched movies and snacked. Sunday, I headed back to Cornish to head to Killington to have lunch at the restaurant with everybody. Once I was back in town, I grabbed some groceries and waited for Mike to come. I ended up calling out sick Monday and Tuesday. Mon, I made bread, finished The Grey House, and meal prepped. Mike stopped by before heading home to see Jan and Buzz. She had just told him they made the hospice decision so he was pretty upset. Tues was NYE; I watched a movie then got ready to head to Cornish for the night. We airfryed some food, watched a movie then went to bed. Wednesday, I hung out for a little bit after M got Mason back. Once home, I forced myself to go for a walk then called it a night. Thursday, I took all my Xmas stuff down then got ready to go to Windsor to hang with the Dickersons. I went for a walk when I got home then called it a night. 

I'm still going strong with my deactivated Facebook account.

LA is experiencing horrendous, historical wildfires right now. Pete is safe for now.

I recently realized I have 1600 to spend in credit card points. 

I love the girls. 

Thanksgiving

 I am finding it so hard to find the motivation to sit down and write this entry in its entirety in one fell swoop so I am trying a new strategy. I am going to write this entry over the course of the next 4 nights because I just can't. Anyways, I'm going to start with this last long holiday weekend. I worked M-W then was off for the holiday; Mike texted me suggesting he spend the night due to bad weather in the forecast. You see, normally, this would have been a given but we kinda sorta broke up the previous Friday evening but we had planned to stay friends and keep the same Thanksgiving plans. We ended up talking and deciding that we really didn't break up. We are going to more openly communicate and I am going to get some help processing all the anger I have towards the world and my perception of the people in it. We drove to Killington in a snowstorm (and doing doughnuts along the way) and ended up having a great Thanksgiving in a cozy log cabin with Mike's family. An untraditional tradition at his stepfather's girlfriend's. We made a bangin charcuterie board when we got there then spent the rest of the day hanging out, eating and drinking and watching the snow fall. We started a movie at his sister's apartment then headed back to hang out in the hot tub until bedtime. We listened to music for a while before turning in for the night. We hung out for a bit in the morning but headed back to Leb after breakfast. I dozed for a little bit and found zero motivation to do anything but got up to shower and head to Chris and Brandi's for day after Thanksgiving pizza game night. I felt yucky for most of the evening so I headed home when Mike did and went to bed. Yesterday, I went to Thanksgiving number 2 at Mike's place with Jan and Buzz's family, watched a Christmas movie with M&M then headed home around 7 to start a little decorating. This morning, after coffee time, I got up to do Sunday stuffies and vacuum the house. M&M came over and we put up and decorated my tree and played old school nintendo. We went to Worthy Kitchen for dinner then drove to the Smith lights in SoRo. After I was dropped off, I headed to grab a grocery haul. 

Ok so that strategy failed so I have brought my laptop to Mike's to finish this in its entirety on this cozy Saturday morning after writing the last paragraph Sunday night. I'm in the midst of my schedule long weekend; yesterday was a welcome start as this past week has been tiring. Thursday was a 14 hour day and Kathy was my late mate so I had her stay at my house because she lives an hour away and had to work yesterday. Yesterday, I did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, had an EAP telehealth appointment, and did some other tasky things. Mike and I went to Poor Thoms for dinner then had a slumber party. Current status: also listening to Buzz's horrendous cough. I feel so terrible for him.

So truly picking up where I last left off; the second Friday of my October staycation:                           Fri: dental cleaning, laundry, blog, Black Betty AC recharge.                                                                 Sat: laundry, dishes, Foxwoods prep, and girls' potty room cleaning.                                                   Sun: Mike and I headed to Foxwoods, stopping at Cabela's in Hartford on the way. Prior to checking out Tuesday morning, we ate delicious food, drank, gambled, experienced 4 hours worth of bingo, window-shopped, go carted many many times and got amazing massages. It was so fun. When we checked out, we headed to Mystic to be tourists then went to the farm for the night to stay in the ice house. We had dinner with David and Pauline. Wednesday morning, we made the trip home and I stopped to get plant soil before making up for lost snuggles with the girls. I could only muster to do a few stuffies before calling it a day.                                                                                                       Thurs: I made a grocery run and prepped for an evening of trick or treating. I headed to Cornish to finish putting on my costume (day of the dead). Mike's costume didn't last too long and Mason was spiderman. We hit up a few places on Center Rd. but mostly stayed on Cornish flat. It was super fun.   Fri: I made muffins, repotted some plants, finished cutting down my hostas then took a walk.             Sat: Vacuumed the house, made chicken noodle soup, ran some errands then M&M cam for a sleepover.                                                                                                                                                 Sun: laundry, neighborhood potluck casual get together/baby shower, dinner at Susan's for Sherry, sleepover at Mikes.                                                                                                                               Mon: ducati storage, tracker service, grocery shopping, outdoor run! Vacation over :(

The following weekend, Mike and I headed to Killington to visit his sisters. I met Lauren for the first time. We ended up getting sucked into a painting party at the restaurant then we all went out to dinner. After heading home from Mike's Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and dishes, grocery shopped and meal prepped. I had Tuesday off that week and made chocolate chip cookies and went for another outdoor run.

The following weekend, M&M and I met the Dickersons in Putney for a couple hour adventure at Santa's Land. It was cute and a lot of fun. From there, we headed to Chester for a dinner/play date with Sam, Jimmy and Lincoln. That was super fun as well. Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did dishes, grocery shopped, made rice and guac for a work potluck, then headed back to Cornish for dinner. That week, I had Wednesday off. I did some laundry, ran some errands, did computer stuffies and took a bubble bath. 

The following day was our EP "retreat." My mental health had been simmering for a while and it finally reached it's boiling point so I was feeling very emotional, antisocial, negative and hopeless. I ended up going home after the retreat to be a couch potato and practice self care for the rest of the day. I ended up falling into a hole of depression and succumbing to the battle between my brain and my heart with regards to my relationship. I had been struggling for a while with our political differences and what that means for our compatibility and ability to survive long term. I knew I wasn't going to be magically all better by Friday morning so I stayed home again and slept in half the day. I managed to clean the girls' food area then was getting ready to head to Cornish for dinner but my struggle could not be ignored and I told Mike I thought we were too different to be successful. We ended up facetiming later that evening to talk some things out and he ultimately understood where I was coming from and we decided we were going to stay friends and keep our Thanksgiving plans. I went to bed that night feeling ok but woke up Saturday and spent most of the day crying while vacuuming the house and doing some laundry and dishes. When we chatted the night before, we decided to go out for some drinks where we met. Chris and Emilee joined us and I ended up having a bit too much rum with not a whole lot in my stomach so I kind of got really drunk. I ended up spending the night and recovering the next morning. I managed to go grocery shopping and buy and install new smoke detectors (while crying) before calling it a day. The break lasted 3 more days then we talked it out a bit the night before Thanksgiving and decided we didn't want to be broken up. 

I really need to start exercising again. I treadmilled after work Wed. but still need to pick up the pace.

Suzy shadowed in the EP lab but untimately took a job in Burlington in their lab.

This fucking country elected Donald Trump to be our next president. I don't have enough words. 

Unseasonably Warm Fall Staycay

 As of 1730 this past Friday, I am on staycation until 0700 November 5th (election day, yikes). So far, it's been wonderful. Today is day 6 and I spent it sleeping in too late, having leisurely coffee time with the girls, and then starting to prepare my guest facilities. My coworker Sue is staying at my house for 3 nights while Mike and I are in CT. I'll recap the previous 5 days then go back to where I left off last. After coffee time Saturday, I vacuumed the house then got ready to head to Ctown to jump into Emilee's car to head to New London to watch Maddy's soccer game (they won 7-0). It was senior day and alumni weekend so it was busy. After the game, Em and I went to dinner at Ramuntos then our for bevvies. Sunday morning, I met Erica and her hubby at Cardigan for a hike. It was a beautiful day and fun was had by all. I finished the day with some laundry, dishes, and a relaxing evening with Mike. Monday, I washed all my bedding, grabbed some groceries and made baked ziti for dinner. Tuesday, I did some banking, hosed and swept out my garage, and took a walk with Mike. Yesterday, I cleaned my small appliance, did more laundry, ran errands and took a walk. 

I last left off on 9/11; that weekend was a little tough. Friday night, Mike and I had a misunderstanding and I got really upset and ended up struggling the rest of the weekend and that struggling feeling lasted for a couple weeks. With the misunderstanding as the backdrop, I really realized how strongly I feel about him and I felt really vulnerable and scared in light of our political differences and how different we are in general. I was incredibly depressed and cried a lot but we talked Sunday night and decided to not break up. Despite that, Saturday, I was able to vacuum the house, do the dishes, and take a walk and Sunday, I did computer stuff and grocery shopping. I had Thursday off that week and I did laundry, the dishes, went to my PCP for an ear problem (better now but still bothersome), and took a walk. 

The following weekend was busy but fun. Saturday, I vacuumed the house then went to Chester with Mike and Mason (making a pit stop at the Vermont Country Store) for their friend's birthday party. It was a fun day meeting people, eating yummy food and playing. Sunday, we went to Killington to hang out with Mike's sister, her bf, stepdad and his gf. Lots of really yummy food but the reason for the get together was really sad. It was a chance for family to say good-bye to Chucky, Mike's sister's dog. From there, we stopped at Mike's stepdad's gf's house in Killington before heading home. Before I got home, I grabbed some groceries before calling it a day.

The following weekend was my long weekend and I got to kick it off by bringing Maebs in for her annual vet appointment. I opted not to bring Quinn this year because she's young and healthy and not due for any vaccines. Maebs was a very brave girl and did well. Afterwards, I vacuumed the house, did dishes, ran some errands, cleaned the girls' potty room and had a date night with Mike. I got a tour of where he works, got 5 Guys for dinner and then he dragged me to see a "comedy" by conservative assholes lampooning the DEI movement. Two thumbs down. Saturday, I drove down to Springfield, MA to spend the day with Madison and Danielle at her college. I got to meet some of her friends, we played some card games outside and walked around campus. We went to dinner at a seafood place and took some good pictures and ended the day getting ice cream at this cute farmstand with live music and a fire. I headed home after just barely making it to the gas station and ended up talking to Danielle for an hour after Madison told her she wasn't sure she wanted to continue at school. I texted Madison the other day and things seem ok. Sunday, I headed to Windsor to celebrate a certain little girl's 3rd birthday. It was a good time full of farm animals, yummy food, and lovely weather. From there, I headed to Cornish and then to the Common Man in Ctown with Mike, Jan & Buzz for dinner. Afterwards, I grabbed some groceries and called it a day. Monday, I did some laundry, meal prep, brought Mike to sell his truck and to pick up a loaner car, and went for a walk. That day, our lawn maintenance people were on site and they accidentally cut my propane line while cutting my hostas. Thankfully, Superior was able to come quickly and fix the line so I could take a nice hot shower that night.

The following weekend was another sad, depressing one. Saturday, I did some laundry and got on the road to head to Charlie's birthday party but was uninvited while on the highway. Apparently, Adam didn't know I was attending and pitched a fit and threatened not to go unless I wasn't there. I'm not sure if we'll be ok again. Time will tell. I ended up going to Cornish to hang out with Mike, Mason, Jan & Buzz. We played and had a yummy dinner. Sunday, Mike, Mason and I went apple picking at Riverview with the Dickersons. It was warm but we had a good time picking what was left of the apples and getting pumpkins for carving (which we did last night). We grabbed a late lunch at Frasier's and headed back to Cornish to hang out until it was time for Mason to go back to his mom. I did some laundry and called it a day. That week, I had Wednesday off and I spent it vacuuming the house, doing dishes, cleaning my nasty bathroom and going for a walk. 

The following weekend was a Simone weekend. I picked her up at 11 and headed back home to settle in for a bit. We went to Moes for lunch then did some shopping. Mike invited us to game night at Chris and Brandy's so we headed to Cornish around dinner time. We played the wiener game and pictionary and Simone was formally introduced to Cards Against Humanity. We headed home around 8 and watched a couple movies. Sunday, we got up and ready and headed to Starbucks for breakfast. We went to Keene (making a pit stop at the Vermont Country Store on the way) to hit up a few stores then we stopped in and visited with the Hubbards for a little bit. I meandered back to Ctown to drop her off at home then spent the rest of the evening at home with Mike. I had Wednesday off (again) that week and spent it sleeping in, doing the dishes, grabbing some groceries and making a yummy apple crisp to bring in to work that Friday.

The election is a week from Tuesday and I sent in my ballot already. Trump is slime.

I bought tickets to see Tribal Seeds next year. Can't freakin wait.