2025 Summer Vacation, cont.

 Sat, Jan. 12th: I did some laundry, took a walk, practiced on my motorcycle then met M&M for dinner at Lui Lui's. We had dinner with a nice family (relatives of a guy Mike befriended in Croydon who left him a camper, the tracka, and asked him to keep an eye on a cabin in Croydon for him posthumously). They were visiting from NY to look at the property to figure out what they wanted to do with it. I finished the evening at home by making a memorial for Mary Anna Durfey on the Find A Grave website where she's buried. 

Sun: M&M and I went to visit some of Mike's good friends in Bridgewater, VT. Lulu and the boys came too and we just hung out, chatted, snacked, walked the brook and rode fun vehicles. Olive is very cute and I found my new fridge. Once we got home after dropping off Mason, we had fun adult time and relaxed before bed.

Mon: I went grocery shopping after Mike and I completed a chunk of our motorcycle ecourse. We had a yummy spaghetti dinner then relaxed for the rest of the evening. 

Tues: We had morning adult fun then I headed to Hanover for a hair appointment. Afterwards, I spent some time in Starbucks killing time and continuing the ecourse until my therapy appointment. When I got home, I completed the ecourse, we had leftovers for dinner then took a trip to Cold Stone for a delicious treat and walked down to Mike's new work.

Wed: I relaxed for a bit, cleaned up my kitchen then headed to Cornish to go swimming and have a sleepover with my boys. Of course there was a stroll with a 4 wheeler. 

Thurs: I had my annual derm appointment in the morning. No issues and my derm doc removed a sticky outy mole on my left side body and informed me that one of my belly moles was most likely an accessory nipple. The first time I had heard that in my life. I cackled. After my appointment, I perused the coop for a few things then went home to relax a bit then vacuum the house. I took a short walk then planned on practicing on the bike but only got 15 minutes in before it started to pour. 

Fri: I alternated between motorcycle practice and a barre class completing about 2 and 1 hour, respectively.

Sat: Sooooo, back in the spring, Mike had signed us up for a two day licensing motorcycle course and today was day one. It will, from now on, be referred to as the day I had my motorcycle meltdown. I can laugh a little bit now, but I actually felt pretty terrible that day and for subsequent days. So, basically, it was a combination of factors combined with my inability to control my emotions for now. I was doing ok in the morning but something changed in the afternoon when I stalled my bike and couldn't figure out the issue without help. After that, I had trouble recalling the drill and made more mistakes then realized that I hadn't practiced nearly enough and I was most likely going to fail. I panicked and abruptly and angrily quit in a very public way. Mike was pissed. I spent the rest of the afternoon in the truck waiting for the day to end so I could disappear. I got really depressed but managed to clean myself up (after filling water bottles) for dinner out at Molly's. We got in a little tiff but dinner was good, overall. 

Sun: I woke up feeling pretty terrible still but throughout the day, my mood continued to improve as I processed and put things into perspective (Dayna helped with that). I ultimately realized I shouldn't feel so terrible because there are far worse things out there and I can pick it back up at any time and prepare better for success as I have a much better idea of what to expect. I did some laundry, grocery shopped, computer stuff then Mike and I went to Jesse's to celebrate his perfect score. 

Mon: I woke up work early and never really went back to sleep so I eventually got up to have relaxing coffee time. I made enchiladas, took a walk then got ready to head to Cornish for the night; we had dinner with Jan, Buss, and Larry (now I know Larry does not like cheese).  

Tues: I spent an hour in the Lord garden picking blueberries then had to run to my therapy appointment in Hanover (I was a little late). Afterwards, I ran some errands, weeded underneath and around my entire deck (getting better access by moving the grate), then Mike and I had some fun adult time.

Wed: I finally cancelled my pest services, took a walk, had a lovely dinner with Maddy at Poor Thoms, then headed to Cornish to spend the night with my boys. 

Thurs: I vacuumed the house. Midafternoon, I met Amy and the kids at the CCBA as they were finishing up soccer lessons. We got the kids ice cream then went for a short-lived walk on the rail trail as it was very hot and muggy out. We ended up heading to my house to hang out and catch up before they headed back home for dinner. It was a nice visit. I stayed outside for a bit to enjoy the hammock chair then called it quits for a shower and ice cream.

Fri: I did a barre class, caught up on some texting, did my nails, met my wall sit goal for the week, started going through the bottom of my closet and ended the day with some journaling. 

Sat: I did some packing, journaling, and went to the fair in North Haverhill with my boys. It was actually pretty fun and once I got home I finished cleaning and organizing the bottom of my closet (recycling a bunch of shoes in the process). 

Sun: I was in Cornish by 0845 for a 0900 departure to CT. Fortunately, when we got to Great Wolf Lodge, our room was ready so we could get all of our stuff out of the truck right off the bat. We explored a little bit, took a little rest then headed to the water park to do as much as we could before dinner. Everything was brand new and so fun. It took hours to do most of what the water park had to offer so we were there for the rest of the day with a late lunchy snack break. Bedtime came shortly after dinner.

Mon: All of us were up by 7 so we relaxed for a little bit before heading back down to the buffet for breakfast. We were at the water park as it opened then made the best of it until we had to get ready to check out. We made our way to the farm then relaxed a little bit before heading to the Dinosaur Place. It was neat checking it out for the first time after driving by it countless times over the years. It was mostly outdoors so we made the best of it before we couldn't handle the heat anymore. We chilled by and in the lake for a bit harvesting mussels to use as bait while trying to avoid lily pads and lake ickiness. We ended the day with a lovely spaghetti dinner w/ D&P (the boys ate pizza) and a few games of cribbage.

Tues: M&M and I went to breakfast at the Shack. When we got back, we drove across the street to walk around the farm but it was short lived due to the oppressive heat. We went back to D&P's to relax and do indoor activities. We had a cookout at their house for dinner with Cory, Marc (his girlfriend and her daughter), and Scarlet. It was fun: lots of random conversation, laughter and good food. Family stories, popsicles and candy, wine, hot tub time and more cribbage and uno.  

Wed: We were breakfasted and on the road heading to Mystic just before 10. We spent a few hours at the Mystic Aquarium then headed to Mystic Pizza for lunch. We had an uneventful ride home and I hung out for a little bit before continuing home to my girls. I unpacked and relaxed and headed to bed.  

Thurs: I had my annual eye appointment; overall, things look pretty good but I've gotten to the point where I'm going to finally break down and purchase my first pair of OTC reading glasses. I did some laundry, filled my water bottles, then M&M and I headed to Lake Morey resort to see the Elovators (redeemed from last summer). It was a lovely evening filled with yummy food, excellent music and beautiful scenery. Our glow sticks were very popular! 

Fri: I had relaxing coffee time for as long as I needed. I made an appt. for Quinn, vacuumed the house, did a few dishes, had fun adult time then headed out to pick up Mike's friend Scott and go have dinner at Peter Christians in New London. Afterwards, we walked through CSC campus, walked through the fair then headed back home for the night.

Sat: Mike and I went for a walk on the rail trail out to Mascoma Lake. We ran a few errands afterwards then went home to have a quick lunch. We spent the afternoon doing outdoor projects around mi casa: Mike installed my new shower head, cleaned out my garage, assembled my new deck furniture, and pressure washed a part of my house plus the deck and railings. I was in a more supportive role but kept busy with a bunch of smaller tasks i.e. getting of yard waste and making multiple trips to the dumpster and recycling. We got chinese take out and ate on the deck. 

Sun: I woke up at a decent time and got out of bed at a decent time (for me). I had nice relaxing coffee time catching up on emails, etc., then I decided I should get up and accomplish something because I needed to eat something as I was starving so I snacked on fruits and veggies and did some laundry, vacuumed a little, and some other small tasky things. Mike and I went for a nice ride on his bike then grabbed some groceries and headed home to make tacos. We watched Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix; it was pretty funny.

Mon: I allowed myself to sleep in a little bit but was up and working on cleaning up the dishes when Mike came home for lunch on his first day at the new job. After he went back to work, I had my coffee time then got up to snack and start doing some small tasky things. I started with the toilet in the other bathroom which became a more involved cleaning. I started vacuuming and reorganizing the linen closet which led to similar smaller projects in the spare room, the TV stand, and then I continued the laundry and took a shower. Mike came home then I headed out to run a couple minor errands then I borrowed a shovel from C&G; we chatted for a bit then Emily came over, then Mel came out to water, then we all converged on D&AM's deck to see their new baby. Mike and I had fun adult time, then I finished my pizza for dinner. I still need to boil eggs for deviled eggs tomorrow. Also, I bought myself a new crossbody bag today!

Tues: I actually got up at a decent time today but I had a little motivation to do so; I had to finish making deviled eggs (first time) for a potluck at work for Kathy's last day. It was at noon so I couldn't stick around for too long as I had a therapy appointment at 1. It went pretty well and afterwards, I ran a few eraands then headed home to finish some tasks ie. putting away dishes and washing the dirty, putting away clean clothes and reorganizing some drawers (starting a new textile recycling bag). I relaxed with Mike for a little bit after he got home from work, ate some leftover chinese food, then headed outside for a little bit to start digging up the bush between my fences. Overall, it was a good day and I'm feeling happy.

Wed: I ended up waking up at 3 and couldn't get back to sleep so it I cut into the morning because I fell back asleep after Mike left for work and I hit the snooze button for an hour and a half after the 0930 alarm I had set. Nothing takes my coffee time so I did that then needed to accomplish something so I cleaned up some dishes then put myself together to go outside and finish digging up the bush and pluck the hosta transplant in its place. I brought my new umbrella out back then hopped in the car to Target then Best Buy. I bounced between there and Home Depot before deciding on BB to pull the trigger and purchased a new fridge, stove and dishwasher. I am uber pumped. I headed back home to go through another drawer, talk to Mike and take a shower. I'm calling it a night. I will not catastrophize.

Thurs: Slept in a touch, had my coffee time then got up and folded some laundry. I went through another bureau drawer then Mike popped in to hang because he had time to kill between work and picking Mason up from camp. When I was getting ready for the farmer's market, I heard my new umbrella get blown off the deck, scaring the bejesus out of Maebs. I had secured it to a corner and opened the canopy to dry earlier and found it around the corner against my fence. Seems to be ok. I chatted with Hannah then poked around the farmer's market (buying a few samosas, took a picture with a snake, and saw Val) then took a walk around the area and on the rail trail until I burned sufficient calories. Once I got home, I returned the shovel I borrowed, took a shower and talked to Mike. Once I got off the phone, I realized I hadn't seen Quinn; turns out she had gotten outside again, when, I'm not exactly sure. I couldn't find her for a while but then I caught a glimpse of her so I ultimately went inside, propped the door open and turned all the lights off and eventually walked back inside. My fear had turned into anger at that point; I cannot let this happen again. Oh, and I'm starting to spiral again.   

Fri: I woke up a little after 5 and could not get back to sleep. I dozed and ended up hitting the snooze button a lot after it started going off at 0930. Quinn was snuggled with me for hours. I cannot lose her. I had relaxing coffee time then got up to be productive; I folded some laundry, started going through another drawer, vacuumed the house (Mike popped in for a quick visit and to get my bike), filled my water bottles, did the monthly cleaning of the laundry room,  and was on my bike by 1730, returning very sore already close to 2000. I chatted with Mike (Mason loved his first motorcycle ride), then took a shower, started a load of towels, and called it a day with the ladies. I am spiraling. 

Sat: I slept in a bit (shocking, I know), had some relaxing coffee time then got ready to head out to meet Simone at Starbucks. We popped in at home to drop stuff off then headed back out for lunch and shopping. We went to Wendy's, Crumbl, CVS, the Paper Store, Kohls, Target and LL Bean. We went to the movies to see Freakier Friday (I loved it) then headed home to eat a late dinner and watch more movies.

Sun: I didn’t sleep much and Simone forgot to set her alarm so we kinda sorta slept in a bit (well, actually, it was more dozing with dreams here and there). Once we were alive, we got ready and went to Starbucks then ran back home to get ready for the beach. We had talked possibly about going to Burlington or Manchester but sleeping in left little time for that. I used a permit given to me by Cam to go to Bucklin beach for the first time in I don’t know how many years and it was so lovely. Much smaller than I remembered but that’s what makes it special. We hung out for a couple hours then started making our way home with a little pit stop in Sunapee for ice cream at the quack shack. Before I dropped off Simone, I dropped a brief letter off at Ashley’s. What will be, will be. Once home, I unpacked, showered and actually made myself go to bed at a decent time after dinner. Feeling quite depressed. And just like that, vacation is over.

Existential Crisis cont. plus HB, MURICA

 This is the longest chunk of time I've had off since my summers off from school before I started working (not counting babysitting). It's been marvelous and I so wish I could do this for the rest of my life. I wish I could get paid my nursing pay but spend my days doing things that make me happy. Alas, reality is much different and we must work to earn our keep. I'm going to try to focus on the fact that I'm allowed to do this (funded by me and me alone) and that I have my health, my house, plenty of food and creature comforts, and people that love me. Most people aren't this lucky. Because I've had all this time off, the format of this entry is going to be much like my prior ones when on vacation. I last left off at the end of May so let's get started so I can feel like I accomplished something today before partaking in fun holiday activities. 

Sat. 5.31: Mike, Mason and I drove to the Laconia area to test drive a few trucks at a dealership. We had lunchies at the golden arches and spent some time at Fun Spot which was actually pretty fun and reasonably priced. 20 bucks actually went a long way. We had dinner at common man in ctown and spent the rest of the evening/night in Cornish. 

Sun: I had a lazy morning in Cornish, heading home eventually to do some laundry, grab some groceries. Mike grilled steak tips so we had a yummy dinner and some fun adult time.

Mon: Black Betty had her annual inspection (NH is now doing away with the annual inspection) and passed thanks to Mike and the work he did. I went home and did some laundry and stuffies then Mike picked me up and we went to Cornish to hike the property line of a chunk of land he may be purchasing from his neighbor Ginny adjacent to where he lives now. It was hot and buggy and I stepped in shit.

Tues: I had my one time psych eval with a nice dude at Heater Rd. in order to help my PCP fill out my short term disability paperwork (I gave up trying the following week). I came home to vacuum the house, do some laundry, clean up the kitchen and fill my water bottles. 

Wed: Mike and I picked up Mason early from school to start the journey to CT for one of Mike's closest friends' wedding. We stopped for lunch in Brattleboro then made our way to eastern MA to look at a kids 4 wheeler for sale. Mike ultimately bought it so we put it in the back of a borrowed truck to then start the journey to Mike's dads house stopping for pizza on the way in East Lyme. We made it in time to test out the 4 wheeler and take a short walk to stretch our legs. 

Thurs: Had a leisurely morning and eventually got ready for the wedding after Mason went to Lola's for the day/night. The wedding was at a big clubhouse on the beach and it was delightful for those who did not have to wear a suit. Thankfully there was AC and yummy pizza and mexican food trucks and I ended up dancing after having too much wine. It was fun but I was a touch hungover the following day. 

Fri: We traveled back to the shire and it was pretty uneventful. Once I got back home, I took a little nap and cleaned the girls' potty room. 

Sat: MY BDAY! I got up early so I could go to Rochester with Mike so he could buy his truck. We went to lunch after where there were a few other birthday buddies then we headed back home. Mike replaced my video doorbell, I drank my birthday starbies, then we popped over to Mt. A to see Buzz who had been hospitalized for a TIA-like event. We finished the day with some fun adult time, spaghetti and ice cream cupcakes from Cold Stone.

Sun: I did some laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. Mike and I went to Worthy Burger then for a walk.

Mon: I went grocery shopping, ran some errands then came home to make mac and cheese which I brought to Cornish for dinner. Jan had been bucked off her horse the day prior so she was pretty sore and unable to walk comfortably. 

Tues: I kinda sorta slept in late unintentionally and felt like foggy crap for the rest of the day. I did manage to go to Newport to renew my motorcycle permit then headed to my moms to discuss the Ashley situation. She randomly stopped responding to me and I have no clue what I did to deserve being thrown out like garbage. End result: sit tight and leave the ball in her court and live my life. Mike ended up coming over after the chat for dinner. 

Wed: I relaxed then got ready to head to Cornish (making a pit stop on the way at Amidons) to get Mason off the bus. I got some exercise while he was on his 4 wheeler and we pretty much spent the rest of the day outside.

Thurs: I did some stuffies at home then went back to Cornish for the night.

Fri: Mason's pre K graduation was Friday morning. Afterwards, I went home to do a big grocery haul, computer stuffies then came back for taco night with Jan and Buzz.

Sat: I came home, vacuumed the house, PCS (my memory doesn't remember what this acronym means), headed back to Cornish to watch a movie and have my very first maple creamee from Macs. It did not disappoint. We took a walk and I printed a few things on Jan's computer before calling it a night.

Sun: I went for a 6 mile run/walk in the morning on Center Rd., showering when I got back and relaxing for the afternoon and eating yummy food for a Father's Day/high school graduation party for one of Jan and Buzz's granddaughters. Afterwards, I went home to vacuum the house, do some laundry and once Mike was here, we had fun adult time.

Mon: did some laundry, watched a movie about the Titan submersible implosion with Mike, and packed up my simplisafe system to go to Best Buy's recycling program.

Tues: I had a lazy in bed kind of morning but I got up to go to the hospital to have my heart calcium score CT scan done (turns out I got the best score possible!). I hung out in the lab afterwards to visit my peeps then headed home to clean my appliance and spend the evening with Mike. 

Wed: I ran some errands then headed to Cornish to pick up Mason at 3. His mom wasn't expecting me so we had a mostly positive, impromptu, but brief conversation. We played outside until Mike got home and once the boys were getting ready for bed, I headed home for the night. 

Thurs: I picked up Mason at 10 at Mike's work and had him until Mike got out of work. We went to the playground at the high school for a bit then went to the one next to the skate park but that was short lived due to the oppressive heat. We went back to my house for lunch and to watch a movie until Mike got sick of work and hung out here for a bit before returning to Cornish with Mason. I went out to CVS, Kohls and Barnes and Noble to do a little shopping before calling it a day. 

Fri: I did some laundry, took a walk, Mike and I went to Kotos for dinner then went to a play at the Lebanon Opera House called Dirty Rotten Scoundrels to see Brandi.

Sat: Headed to Cornish for the night; Mike and I went to the Windsor Station for dinner.

Sun: We got up and spent the morning helping Jan in the garden. We weeded, planted potatoes and set up nets and irrigation systems. We went to lunch at Frazers with Jan and Buzz afterwards. Mike and I watched a movie, hiked the property line to do some measurements and concluded the day with some fun adult time.

Mon: I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and made a grocery haul. 

Tues: I cleaned up the kitchen, popped into the town clerk's office to change my political party affiliation to Independent, then met Kelly for dinner at Red Can (in the old Trail Break location). It was a touch fancy and pricey but yummy and it was nice finally catching up with Kelly. 

Wed: I picked Mason up at 3 from his grandmother and hung out with my boys for the rest of the evening. I slept over so Mike could work while I hung out with Mason. We had a lazy morning watching TV, doing Where's Waldo, then we headed outside to play for a bit. We drove up to Leb to hang out with Mike as they were having another hotdog party. After that, we visited some pet stores and went to the Wal-Mart to pick out a toy. We headed back to Cornish to chill with Mike then we all gathered ourselves to spend the night at my house. 

Thurs: Mason got up when I did and we chilled, played, watched TV, ate breakfast; played outside for a little bit until driving to Leb to have lunch with Mike at another one of his wien work parties. Afterwards, we went to a few pets stores to look at animals (I needed something for the ladies) then we headed to Wal-Mart to pick out a toy. We headed back to Cornish to hang out with Mike. We spent the night at my house (Mason took a bubble bath) eating takeout, dessert and watching a movie. 

Fri: We took a walk on the Rail Trail (Mason and I made a wildflower bouquet) then we headed to Cornish to drop off the boys because Mike's truck was getting a new tire. Once I got back home, I got myself together to head to Higher Ground to finally see Steel Pulse and they did not disappoint. They put on a great show and they were very interactive with the crowd. I went to see my Granny a stone's throw from the venue and I left the wildflowers on her headstone.

Sat: I relaxed a bit before heading to Cornish for the night. We went to the Common Man in ctown then took a trip up Cat Hole Rd. for the scenery. Got some good pictures then we ended the day with a fire at the house with Jan. 

Sun: I went for a run on Center Rd. late morning; it was miserable at first but it eventually got better. After I showered and had some food, we went to Mac's for a treat and to walk around. I headed home afterwards to vacuum the house and make a shepherd's pie. We ended the day with some fun adult time. 

Mon: I did some paperwork for my first appointment at Hanover Psych., some laundry and filled my water bottles. In the afternoon, I headed to Cornish in a foul mood (lady problems) and helped with some yard work on the property. Jan made a Mexican style goulash for dinner and it was delicious.

Tues: I had my first therapy appointment (was a little late because I couldn't find parking and almost gave up) and it went well so I'm glad I didn't turn around and angrily drive home. I grabbed some groceries, showered and settled in for a quiet evening with Mike. We watched Walk the Line; he had never seen it and he's a Johnny Cash fan.

Wed: I made blueberry sheet pan pancakes, cleaned my disgusting bathroom and took a walk.

Thurs: I did some laundry, began this entry, and spent the evening with M&M seeing July 4th fireworks at Ascutney for the first time. There was a rain/thunderstorm hiccup but everything resumed after that. The display was great, the hammock chairs were great, and I even ran in to Micaela. We didn't leave until 10ish and Mason was out like a light. 

Fri: We got up and went to the Plainfield July 4th parade and met the Dickersons there. The kids scored some candy and we scored some chocolate milk. Afterwards, we went to the Dickersons to hang out and play for a little bit before Mason went back to his mom. We made a little trip to Newport to buy some fireworks then we headed back to Cornish before heading back out to go hang out at Jen and Luke's house for more delicious food and another fireworks display. Mike and I had a fair amount of Truly's and ended up stopping at Langwood to hang out and watch the stars. 

Sat: I had a slight hangover so I slept in a bit then headed home to take care of the girls and do their monthly cleaning. I also took a walk and did some laundry.

Sun: Mike and I got up early to hike Ascutney. We took the Weathersfield trail and it took us about 4.5 hours from start to finish. We hit up Ginny's pool afterwards then I headed home to take a luxurious bubble bath and to shave my leggies. We had fun adult time then grabbed some groceries for taco night.

Mon: The Dickersons and I went to Grafton Pond to kayak. I had to resort to using their paddleboard because I didn't bring my manual pump and we didn't know until we got there that their automatic pump wasn't compatible with my inflatable kayak. Oh well. It was still fun and we got to hang with DJ and Tim. Mike and I relaxed for the rest of the day although I did make a quick run to the fords.

Tues: I made a Mexican style salad to bring to a potluck at work for Hannah's last day. I made the return to work date decision while there (August 11th). Boo. Potluck was fun and from there I went to my second psych appointment in Hanover which went well. Once I got home, Mike and I headed out for a motorcycle lesson behind the old Penneys. It went pretty well; we practiced weaving, turns and stuff I had already been practicing. I celebrated with a big bowl of spaghetti for dinner.

Wed: I vacuumed the house, did some laundry, and finally took a road trip to Blissville Rd. I misremembered exactly where the little cemetery was so I thought the entrance was too overgrown to even attempt climbing through it. Thankfully, I decided to knock on the door of the house directly to the right of the property and he took down the road to the real entrance and turns out it's maintained and it looks a lot better than the last time I saw it. I walked around, took a video and headed back to my car. I stopped at Aldi in Rutland on the way home to poke around for a few. Once home, I chatted with the boys, filled my water bottles and called it a night.

Thurs: I was lazy and spiraling but put myself together enough to grab some pizzas and head to Cornish for the night. I missed swimming but we ate dins and hung out outside for a bit. I felt better by the time bedtime rolled around.

Fri (yesterday): I got up, made coffee, then Mike and I sat down to start the 5 hour long motorcycle ecourse. We got almost halfway through and decided  to take a break; he went to help a neighbor with something and I went home to hang with the girls. I procrastinated a little bit by doing stuffies then got on my bike without Mike for the first time and practiced around my circles for 30 minutes. I got ready and headed to Leb HS to watch Logan's baseball game then we went to 110 Grill for dinner. It was nice to catch up. Once home, I chatted with Mike then had ice cream again without whipped cream when I wasn't supposed to. Next week is gonna suck. 

I'm officially caught up and will be making entries weekly from now on. 

Existential Crisis

 I finally snapped. I haven't worked a full week in the last month. Allow me to explain. What's happening now is the result of months that turned into years of emotional turmoil that terminated into an argument with a patient around lunchtime on May 9th. The incident occurred while I was finishing up my lunch and heard Hillary walk into the lab with a patient, whom we had already caught wind of, who was just being an absolute asshole. I decided in that moment that I wasn't going to tolerate this poor treatment as a "healthcare hero" so I decided to confront him. The situation escalated rather quickly and I was soon seeing so much red that I gave no fucks about consequences and told the guy to leave. In that moment, I would have unleashed an unmeasurable amount of rage and violence if he had thrown the first punch. Long story short, I stormed out of the building and big changes have happened since. I feel burnt out, sad, angry and unable to tolerate anything. But first, let me pick up where I last left off. 

The day after my last entry was the last day of a long weekend. The only productive thing I have recorded was a little jaunt in Boston Lot with Mike. I had taken that Friday off for our monster jam show in CT/NJ. I put Mason on the bus that morning, I went home to get ready then headed back to Cornish to get Mike then Mason at lunchtime. We had an uneventful drive down to his sisters, stopping for lunch on the way. We hung out, went out for pizza, almost got ice cream, then headed to Mike's dad for the night. We got going Saturday morning on our trip down to the stadium, killing some time at a giant, incredibly peoply mall that happened to be next to the stadium. There was an unfortunate incident as we were leaving the mall but I will not go into detail as it is more or less resolved. We got back to Mike's dads pretty late and called it a night. Sunday morning, we got up and had bagels, took a walk around the neighborhood then made our way back home, stopping for lunch on the way. Sunday evening, we had adult time then called it a night. 

That week, I had Tuesday off. Mike and I went to Lou's for lunch, I had an appointment at the bank to explore better savings options which nothing came of. Actually, the other day the end result of this task was closing my robinhood account and transferring a chunk of my savings to a new capital one high yield savings account. After the bank, I went to the city clerk (again) to try to register my motorcycle again but was unsucessful due to more title issues. I ended the day with a litter box room cleaning and a movie. I ended up calling out the next day due to lady issues and overall lack of fucks. I did some laundry, took a long walk, and was finally able to successfully register my bike. That Friday at work was the incident so I think I'll just finish this entry in the "I'm on vacation" format. Once I was home Friday, I talked to some people but didn't do much otherwise but seethe.

Sat: Stayed home and was lazy.                                                                                                                   

Sun: Did some laundry, had a good motorcycle lesson, did some dishes, water, and had adult time.

Mon: I went to work and made it through most of the day. I had a midafternoon meeting with Dave and Hillary and we collectively decided that I need some time off. They gave me the rest of the week off and I started the process of applying for 3 months of FMLA/short term disability. Mike and I ended the day with another jaunt in Boston Lot.

Tues: slept in, vacuumed the house and had another good bike lesson.

Wed: I took Black Betty in to have the AC looked at but they could not find an issue. They did, however, find some other issues but I think Mike has fixed them so I hope she passes inspection next week. While she was in the shop, I walked around the area. Once home, I did computer stuffies, grabbed some groceries and took a tubby. 

Thurs: taskies and an evening in Cornish.

Fri: I cleaned my bathroom then headed to Cornish for the night.

Sat: Once I was ready, I went to Simone's softball game in Newport (with a little gps hiccup on the way) and took her for the weekend afterwards. We went to Ctown to grab some stuff and lunch then headed to Leb to settle in before heading out for some shopping. We met Mike and Mason at Time Out for dinner and games, driving through a horrendous storm on the way. Once we got back home, we watch the Sixth Sense before calling it a night. 

Sun: We relaxed a bit then got ready to go to Starbucks for breakfast. From there, we headed to Merrimack for some outlet shopping. Simone made out pretty well and I broke down and bought myself a pair of sparkly crocs. When we had our fill, we made our way to ctown and I stopped in at my moms for a quick visit after dropping off S before heading home to Mike.

Mon: I was planning on going to work but I just didn't feel like it so I slept in and was lazy all day.

Tues: I went to work and had a meeting with Dave and Hillary midmorning. They decided to send me home early and gave me the rest of the week off and this week as well (using ET). I spent the rest of the day being lazy and Mike took me out for dinner at the new dumpling place then ice cream at the new Cold Stone Creamery.

Wed: I took a long walk and washed all of my bedding.

Thurs: I got my butt out of bed for an early appointment with my new PCP. We discussed my mental health, my heart disease risk and some lady things. I got a covid shot and some lab work done. My LPA is elevated so she's putting me on my first statin. Yay. I eventually made my way to Cornish and went to Mason's spring concert with M and Jan. No eye contact was made but she did see me. It was cute and I spent the night in Cornish.

Fri: I got up and went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Went home and did some stuffies and turned around and went back to Cornish for the night. 

Sat: Relaxed for a bit then Mike and I went to ctown to run some errands and grab some food for dinner. I threw things in the crockpot then headed home to see the girls. I came back to Cornish for the night and had a yummy dinner with Jan and Buzz. 

Sun: Relaxed for a bit then headed back to Leb to grab some stuff at the store for a Memorial Day party. Mike and I went to Sharon to his friends' place. Nice property, good people and so much good food. Lulu, Jay and Billie came. Went home around dinner time and spent the evening with my girls. 

Mon: I vacuumed the house, took a walk and had a good motorcycle lesson.

Tues: I did some stuffies, ran some errands and took a short walk.

Wed: I did more stuffies, finished 12 Years a Slave, and took a short walk.

Thurs: I went to Mike's work for a wiener grilling party for one of his coworkers. I ran some errands afterwards then met Hannah at the farmer's market in Leb. After I got home, I went for a walk. 

Today: I am currently in Cornish with my boys. I am heading to bed shortly. As far as my current situation goes, only time will tell. I have a mental health appointment next week so hopefully the doctor portion of my paperwork will be filled out and faxed in by the end of Tuesday. I am also working on establishing more long term care at Hanover Psychiatry. This summer will be taken one day at a time and what will be will be. Until next time...

I have sold a few things lately...the poster tube, my old scale, and maybe a picture holder today?

I'm pretty decent at riding my motorcycle. I have gloves coming and I'm working on getting her insured. I'm also tweaking my condo policy and trying to get a better quote for the HOA.

Trump needs to die and Elon Musk retreated from politics like the failure he is. 

I love my girls.

Happy Birthday, Pops

 If my dad was still here, he would be turning 82 today. Old man. It's crazy to think I could have a parent in their 80s but it's really not when I consider the fact he was 40 when I was born. Anywho, I am having a lovely relaxing Sunday with the ladies and Mike has been here since noonish back from his disappointing casino adventure but napping currently. Perfect time to be updating my blog. I'm in the midst of my long weekend and I've been procrastinating a little bit but here goes. Hopefully, this won't take too long and I can get a workout in before calling it a day. Friday, I got up with an alarm for a 1000 appointment at the back to explore different options for my cash. Turns out the banker already had someone scheduled for that time and I couldn't get through to tell them I couldn't show up at 1300 because Mike had scheduled our permit tests for 1250 at the DMV in Newport. We left around noon, took our tests (I passed, Mike failed lol) then headed to Coronis' for grinders and a little cemetery visit to see my Grammy. On our way back home, we made a pit stop in Croydon to check on a few things. I finished up a few things then headed to Cornish for the night. I got my first motorcycle lesson (dumped the bike within 5 minutes but overall did ok) then we went to dinner at the Windsor Station. Yesterday, I came back to town, ran a few errands then headed home for the day. I did some laundry, vacuumed the house and took a walk. I concluded the day with kitty snuggles and ice cream. 

Last weekend was fairly busy. M&M and I headed to Killington Saturday to visit with the sisters and possibly help out at the restaurant in case it was busy as they were shutting down for a month. Turned out to be ok so we went for a walk, collected golf balls then headed to Lulu's place to hang out before going out for dins. Afterwards, we headed home to put the boy to bed so we could play easter bunny. Mason woke up Sunday morning apparently not remembering it was Easter so we had to remind him he had a basket then discreetly hide some eggs outside. He found those eggs then we hung out until it was time to go to the Dickersons for a rediculously delicious brunch spread and another, more extensive egg hunt. We hung out and played for a while before heading back to Cornish. I headed back home, grabbing a few groceries and did some stuffies until Mike arrived.  

I last left off on the bus ride to Manhattan during my last long weekend. Taking the coach to and from NYC was stellar; will definitely do again. I beat Suzy by a few hours so I dropped my stuff off at our hotel and headed out for a long stroll in Central Park. So alive on a nice Saturday. I got back to the hotel, had a drink at the bar, we checked in to our room and waited for our reservation at the VERY pricey steak restaurant in the hotel. Thankfully, it was freakin delicious and I ate too much. Sunday, we got ready and walked to breakfast (cold day) then headed to Rockefeller center to see the rink, poke around FAO Schwartz, Kate Spade, and the American Girl store. We saw Wicked in the theater district (it was soooooo good) followed by yet another delicious dinner at a French restaurant called Marseille. Suzy left a few hours before me for the airport Monday morning so I relaxed at the hotel before making my way (in the rain) back to the bus stop; making a quick pit stop for food outside Times Square. The bus ride home was uneventful and I was so excited to come home to Mike and the girls. 

The following weekend was relatively quiet. I was in Cornish Saturday (Lui Lui take out with Jan and Buzz) and a chunk of Sunday before heading home to grocery shop, vacuum the house, make guac for a work potluck, have dinner and play before bed. I had Tuesday off that week; I slept in, cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, took a walk with Mike, made tacos, relaxed then filled my water bottles. 

The following weekend, we took a little drive to Southern NH to motorcycle shop but ended up not buying anything. It was nice to sit on a few bikes and get a feel for them. I ultimately decided buying new wasn't as good an option so I tried negotiating with Sue later that week (unsuccessfully). We had lunch at the golden arches, poked around Bass Pro Shops, then headed home to relax and go to dinner at the Windsor Station for our one year meetaversary. Mason, on accident, had his first sip of alcohol. I'll spare you the story but it's actually pretty funny. Sunday, I headed home, stopping to grocery shop on the way. M&M and I went to see the Minecraft movie in the afternoon. I cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, cleaned the girls' potty room and took a short walk. I had Tuesday and Wednesday off that week because Mike and I headed to Boston to see the Deftones at the Garden. It was awesome. The next morning, we went to breakfast and Mike's Pastries before heading back north. I vacuumed the house, did some laundry and ended the day with a nice bubbly bath.

The following Saturday morning, I drove down to CT to hang out with Lola for the weekend. I met her at a vintage market to poke around but unfortunately it was short-lived because it was very cold and windy. We drove back to her place to hang out and chat leaving only to go to the store and run another quick errand. She made a yummy dinner and we relaxed for the rest of the evening. More relaxation in the morning before going out for a yummy breakfast. We went to a cowboy store then the Yale campus to view priceless works of art. I headed north to Cornish shortly after getting back with Greyson because he was spending his vacation with Mike. I dropped him off, sat on my new to me Honda Rebel which Mike had found and purchased the previous day in Rutland for a good price, and visited for a bit. I had Thursday off that week and I spent it doing laundry, dishes, computer and other random stuffies, running some errands and going for a walk. 

My Aunt Betty passed peacefully last week. She was in her 90's.

Buzz is back in the hospital (better DHMC experience this time) being treated for a severe UTI, probable early sepsis and possible pneumonia. 

I got rid of my 23andme account because they were going under and not ensuring to not sell my data.

Trump is the epitome of moral decay. 

Officially Spring

 *THIS WAS WRITTEN 3/22/2025*

I’m currently sitting on the Dartmouth coach on my way to NYC to spend the rest of the weekend celebrating Suzy’s birthday and also the major adulting milestone I reached this past Tuesday…I paid off my house. Yeah, I know. Huge. It still hasn’t hit me. Suzy reached out last month and asked if I wanted to meet her to celebrate with a big city trip and my very first broadway show! We are seeing Wicked tomorrow afternoon and the rest of the weekend will be a bit more spontaneous other than a few meal reservations. Luckily, this landed on my 4 day weekend so I had yesterday off to accomplish a few things. If I wasn’t traveling this weekend, I probably would have worked yesterday because I got sick yet again and missed Monday/Tuesday. I started a Zpack Monday which allowed me to return to work Wednesday. I’m still coughing up so much sputum that it seems likely I had mycoplasma pneumonia. Gross. Mike, too. Anywho, yesterday, I vacuumed the house, did a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, ran a few errands and finished cleaning my disgusting bathroom. I took the tracka to the bus station and M&M took black Betty to Connecticut.

I last left off the weekend prior to the last in February. Friday night, I got out a little early thankfully so I could scoot home, get ready then head to ctown for Grace’s 16 birthday celebration. It was a house party with lots of finger foods, close family and friends, presents and concluded with a dance party. Mike and I were technically broken up but were still talking. The following day, I cleaned up the kitchen, took a walk then headed to Windsor to hang out with the Dickersons. We chilled, had a bonfire out in the snow, and concluded the night with Lydi falling asleep in my lap. Sunday, I vacuumed the house, did the water and took some time writing an email to Mike laying out most of my views, unapologetically. He was quite taken aback and tentatively labeled me a left wing extremist (no offense taken) but ultimately decided to come over that night to spend the night. We ultimately decided to get back together despite our differences; proving once again that we can’t do the friends with benefits arrangement. The future is always uncertain but we are going to focus on loving and respecting each other with insightful conversations about our differing views interspersed throughout. That week, I had Tuesday off. I made my chickpea salad, brought it to work for Hannah’s birthday potluck, hung out for a bit then headed for my I house audiology/ ENT appointment. Finally. Basically, my hearing is fine and there is something in my right ear that doesn’t fully close and there’s not much I can do aside from drinking cold fluids and getting a prescription for a nasal estrogen spray. Once I got home, I did some laundry and took a walk.

The first weekend in March started my March staycation. Saturday, I did the dishes, some laundry, read (nursing against all odds), and had a dinner date with Mike and one of his coworkers at Kotos. Sunday, I had a relaxing day with Mike. I did some laundry and he replaced my 2 thermostats. Monday, I had an EAP telehealth appointment and headed to Burlington to see tribal seeds at higher ground. I was solo because Dayna was up all night yakking but I made friends and had a blast. Tuesday, I did some stuffies, ran some errands, made meatloaf and spent the evening with Mike. Wednesday, I had my annual financial fitness meeting, took a long walk and caught up with Sherry. Thursday, I made scones, did dishes, cleaned the girls’ potty room, read, and did a face mask. Friday, Mike and I went to Lou’s for lunch and I headed to ctown that afternoon to have pizza and catch up with Emilee. Saturday, M&M and I went to Chester to have a play date with S, J, and L. It was fun and I drank almost an entire bottle of wine. We had a sleepover, relaxed in the morning then headed to friends’ of Mike’s in Cornish for another playdate. I drove a snowmobile for the first time! I headed home to grab some groceries then we relaxed for the rest of the evening. Vacation over.

I had Thursday off the week I went back to work. I felt like I was fighting something Wednesday so of course I woke up sick on my day off. I still managed to vacuum the house, clean up the kitchen, run an errand and take a walk. Friday, I intended on going to work but I called out, relaxed, watched Airplane! and spent the evening with Mike. Saturday, I did some laundry, computer stuffies, filled my water, and watched Young Frankenstein. Sunday, I grocery shopped, took a short walk with Mike then we made tacos for dins. Monday, I lasted an hour and a half at work then went to urgent care to get evaluated. Mike came home sick too and we just chilled for the rest of the day. Mike and I took another sick day Tuesday and we mostly relaxed but I ran a few errands in the afternoon then we went for a walk (exploring the round house site).

Zpacks are a modern day miracle.

Simone is a teenager.

I signed up for my first 5K in years and had to skip it because I was sick. Again

I love my girls and I miss them already.

Donald Trump is a piece of shit.

Snowy February and a V Day Breakup

 This past weekend was my long weekend and it started with a sad bang. Mike accidentally shared a post about DOGE with me from a FB group called America First (barf) with DT as its profile picture. It was very triggering and it set off a cascade in my brain that ultimately led to me breaking up with him the following day (Valentine's Day). I finally realized. It wasn't just our ideological divide; it was a combination of other things that have been floating around my head for months that led me to decide staying together wasn't fair for either of us. I'm not sure what the future holds but I'm going to focus on one day at a time. He stopped in after work and we chatted for a bit. He left with some of his stuff after a long hug and I spent most of the remaining day crying. I did, however, manage to do a load of laundry, the dishes, and a quick run to the store for ice cream. Saturday, I did some laundry, took out a bunch of recycling out, ran to the store for spaghetti sauce ingredients, did a living room workout, and took a bubble bath and cried. Sunday, I slept in, washed all my bedding, made my sauce and vacuumed the house. Monday, I did a bunch of tasky things, grocery shopped, cleaned my small kitchen appliance, did computer stuffies and called it a night. I stayed up super late going through months and months of FB messages with Mike.

I left off last time on my last long weekend. I was at Mike's Friday night and Saturday morning, we went our separate ways. He and Mason headed to Killington and I headed to Ctown to pick up Simone for the weekend. We got lunch at the brandy new Wendys then headed back to Leb to settle in and head back out for some shopping. We grabbed Gusanoz for dinner, drove to the hospital to grab something out of my locker and give Simone a quick tour then spent the rest of the evening watching movies. Sunday, we went to Starbucks for breakfast, did more shopping, watched more movies, did some laundry then dropped her off at Dave's. Spent the rest of the evening with Mike. Monday, morning Mike time. I did the dishes, went for a walk, grocery shopped, and picked up my new sleeping pill prescription.

The following weekend, I spent the night with Mike in Cornish. I hung out for a bit and helped Mike shovel horse poop, getting some spontaneous tractor lessons. I headed home to get ready to meet Goewey in Litchfield for dinner then we headed to Derry to see the Dave Matthews Tribute Band and they put on a damn good show. Sunday, I did laundry, the dishes, then Mike and I headed to my mom's for dinner. It was a nice evening. I had Tuesday off that week. I got a cut and highlight, went grocery shopping and had taco Tuesday with Mike, Jan and Buzz. It was my first work night sleepover in Cornish and it was frigid but cozy inside. 

The following weekend, I woke up Saturday morning with a low grade fever. I relaxed all day but managed to do some laundry. Sunday, was definitely sick so I relaxed and again managed to do some laundry. Monday, same story but woke up with a higher fever so I stayed home from work. I did do the dishes. Tuesday, still sick but better. I helped Mike with an errand then spent the night. I hung around Cornish Wednesday and was available to get Mason off the bus if Mike wasn't back from his court date. Thursday, I tried to go to work but only lasted a couple of hours before I left to head to urgent care. I waited for a while but ultimately tested negative for flu and vid. I ran a few errands then headed home to rest.

The following weekend, Mike and I had a Friday date night. I honestly don't remember where we went but it was probably Poor Thoms. Saturday, I grocery shopped, cleaned my bathroom, and headed back to Cornish for the night. Sunday morning, we were lazy for a few hours. Once I headed home, I did the dishes, vacuumed the house, did the laundry and caught up with my Uncle David then Uncle Pete on the phone. I had Thursday off that week; I cleaned the girls' potty room, started reading Nursing Against the Odds, and did a living room workout. 

The following weekend, I stayed in Cornish Friday night. Once back in Leb, I ran errands and grocery shopped, did some laundry, then headed back to Cornish to eat leftover Cantore's pizza and hang out with the CT crew. Sunday morning was snowy and lazy so I relaxed and took my time making a good batch of guac. I vacuumed the house, did dishes, went ice skating for the second time in my life, then ended the evening watching the Super Bowl with Mike. 

Donald Trump and Elon Musk are pure evil. 

I'm back on the Facebooks.

Grace Goss turned 16. 

I am descended from French nobility.

I love the girls. 

A New Year

 A new year is upon us and I'm very surprised to say that I have yet to write 2024 on accident. It also feels like 2024 went by incredibly quickly and I fear the rest of my life will continue the exponential trajectory of time leaving me to wonder at the end of my life what the fuck just happened. I hope it's in a good way. But nothing is guaranteed. It's currently Friday night on my 4 day weekend and I'm at Mike's for the night. I tried to sleep in this morning but it didn't work as well as it normally does. I lingered in bed with the girls before finally dragging my arse out into the cold air of my house. I could have gone in to work for a potluck but I opted to stay home because why the hell would I want to do that? I had my second telehealth appointment this afternoon with the EAP. I think he's a good fit for me and I'm finding it very helpful so I'm going to continue seeing him although I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my benefit runs out for the year. I was supposed to meet Erica for coffee today but she had to reschedule so I continued being lazy until it was time to get ready to head to Cornish. I actually did do a load of laundry and an errand so today was a tiny bit productive. Buzz has been on hospice for a week now and he just seems so frail and it's crazy to think about the decline I've witnessed over the past 9 months. He passed out and fell at home and was hospitalized for over a week, getting discharged to home Christmas Eve. More about that later. Mike is greatly affected by all this. 

Last weekend was pretty quiet. Saturday, I filled my new water dispenser, did laundry, the dishes, a quick living room workout, then got ready to head to Cornish for the night. Mike and I went to Frasier's for dinner then watched a movie. Sunday, I vacuumed, cleaned the girls' room, grabbed some groceries then took a luxurious bubble bath. Mike stayed home and will be staying home more to help Jan & Buzz. This situation is just so terrible and sad. 

I last left off on Pearl Harbor day, sitting in the same spot I am now. I headed back to Leb to run some errands before going home for the night. I did some laundry, cleaned the girls' room, and Mike came up for the night and we added another first to our list. Sunday, I did more laundry and cleaned my bathroom. Monday, I vacuumed, did more laundry, ran some errands, and meal prepped.

The following weekend was relatively quiet. Friday during the day was when Buzz passed out and fell so I headed down to the ED after I punched out to see them for a bit. Mike was in CT so he felt better after I saw them. Saturday, I vacuumed, did some laundry and ran some errands. Sunday, I did the dishes, went shopping and grabbed some groceries. Tuesday was my day off that week; I slept in, wrapped some gifts and went for a walk. 

The following weekend was pretty low key as well. Saturday, I did laundry, the dishes, then headed to Mikes for the night. We went to Ctown to run errands and we had dinner at the Mexican restaurant on Washington St. It was delish. Sunday, I grabbed groceries once back in town then headed home to get ready to go to Ctown to see the Goss' for Xmas. It had been a very long time and it wasn't awkward but I can't use that as an excuse to not eventually talk to Adam. I need to start with at least a text apology. It ended up being like old times except we had Common Man take out for dinner instead of Tremont as they were closed. We ate dinner in bed and hung out in the basement the rest of the night. When I got home, Mike was snoring. My day off that week happened to be Christmas so I chose to have Friday off also. I got out of work a little early Xmas eve so I got to Mikes around 7. We watched Xmas vacation, I prepared my overnight french toast, and we put the tree together once Mason fell asleep. We were up and opening presents by 0700 and ended up relaxing the rest of the day. We had breakfast, watched movies, played with new toys, attempted to nap, and ate pizza for dinner. Before heading home for the night, Mason and I ended the day by making a clay Mr. Hankey lol

Friday, I got up to start getting ready for my rescheduled ENT appointment and before I left the house, they canceled on me again. I gave up the other day and scheduled for a third time. Third time's a charm? I spent the rest of the day doing laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and stuffies. Saturday, I went to Cornish but arrived too late to sled so I felt like a loser for the rest of the day (little did I know I was getting sick). We just hung out and watched movies and snacked. Sunday, I headed back to Cornish to head to Killington to have lunch at the restaurant with everybody. Once I was back in town, I grabbed some groceries and waited for Mike to come. I ended up calling out sick Monday and Tuesday. Mon, I made bread, finished The Grey House, and meal prepped. Mike stopped by before heading home to see Jan and Buzz. She had just told him they made the hospice decision so he was pretty upset. Tues was NYE; I watched a movie then got ready to head to Cornish for the night. We airfryed some food, watched a movie then went to bed. Wednesday, I hung out for a little bit after M got Mason back. Once home, I forced myself to go for a walk then called it a night. Thursday, I took all my Xmas stuff down then got ready to go to Windsor to hang with the Dickersons. I went for a walk when I got home then called it a night. 

I'm still going strong with my deactivated Facebook account.

LA is experiencing horrendous, historical wildfires right now. Pete is safe for now.

I recently realized I have 1600 to spend in credit card points. 

I love the girls.